A Life Less Ordinary
by CullensTwiMistress
Summary: Bella is a single mom not really looking for anything. But once it's sitting right in front of her, will she be able to make her move and realize she deserves it? AH; BxE; BPOV.
1. Chapter 1

**So I wanted to write a more mature Bella... this is her story! :o)**

**See you guys at the bottom...**

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**A Life Less Ordinary**

**Summary: Bella is a single mom not really looking for anything. But once it's sitting right in front of her, will she be able to make her move and realize she deserves it? BxE; M for l BPOV**

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1.

You know the great old saying "When life gives you lemons; make lemonade"? Well, my entire life, up until I moved back home, has been a giant lemon.

Let me start from the beginning.

See, it wasn't that bad when I was really little. I mean I grew up with two loving parents and an older sister. We lived in a nice house, on a private street, in a small town. We even had a white picket fence and a dog.

No, the lemons didn't start out back then.

After high school, I decided to move to California to pursue my education.

Let me tell you, there are plenty of lemons to be had there my friend.

Coming from a small town located in the rainiest place in the continental United States, meant that I was probably the whitest kid anyone had ever seen. And yes, even at eighteen, they saw me as a kid. My five foot stature and barely there curves didn't exactly make any of them think of me as grown up.

So for three years, I immersed myself into my studies and ended up graduating with honors.

I was quiet and mousy, and didn't see the potential in my looks. I didn't have a fairy god-mother, or even a best friend to take me under their wing. My sister was pretty much the same as me, only in a blonde version. Oh, and she was also about eight inches taller and had perky boobs.

But I digress.

Back to my lemons.

After graduating college, I started working in a prestigious firm where all I did all day was sit behind a computer screen and make web pages look pretty. Day in, day out. No need to be attractive for that job. So, I didn't try.

When Alec, one of my co-workers, asked me out on a date, I said yes.

He was a busy bee like me. We were equals and got along very well.

I turned my lemons into lemonade, and ended up marrying him.

We lived our little lives and eventually got married. Overall, we were happy.

We eventually had a daughter, Elisabeth. Life was good.

We worked, we raised our daughter and we had a nice enough life together until Ellie was about four.

I came home after work and found Alec in bed with one of our neighbors.

Again, I took the lemon and turned it into lemonade. He moved out and I kept custody of Ellie. He was a good father to her and life went on.

There was never any real reason for me to hate him. He paid his dues and told me he wasn't happy with me anymore. No matter how I wished for things to be different, they weren't. Moving on was my only option.

We remained friends even after the divorce. And when he remarried, I went to his wedding.

Again, in spite of everything, life was good. Ellie and I lived alone in our big house. She still grew up with two loving parents, we just didn't live together.

And of course, she had the extra love of a step mother.

Kate was actually a good step mom, and loved my daughter. There was never any pretense of bad blood between us as she came along after the divorce, and she wasn't the cause of it.

See, lemonade all around.

That is, unless you're thinking of the lemons in FanFiction, 'cause then no, there were none of those lemons in my life.

My vag had dried up before the divorce and had pretty much gone on strike. But that was okay, it wasn't like I was this big sex fiend in the first place, so I moved on.

Last spring while at work, I received a phone call from Alec telling me that he needed to see me as soon as possible.

This phone call changed everything for us.

Alec and I had always been able to talk about everything. It was what had made us great friends. It was also what had started our relationship in the first place. Talking, communicating, had never been our problem. Which, in hindsight, was probably why we had always remained friends.

He always had a way of making me understand how he felt. His cheating on me, though unwelcomed, was the one and only thing he'd acted upon without talking to me first. After that, he'd promised to always tell me everything, no matter how hurtful it would be. If not for my sake, for Ellie's. She deserved two parents who could trust each other, no matter what.

After Alec's call, we met for coffee over my lunch break and he told me about his move. Kate had gotten the opportunity of a lifetime with a dream job in New York. Needless to say, she had accepted and they were moving.

It took a few days before we could tell Ellie. She was devastated.

Alec promised to do some video chats with her, and that seemed calmed her down.

I was saddened by the news. Not because Kate was getting her dream job or any of that, but because Kate and Alec were my best friends, my only friends, and I was going to miss them dearly.

I know it sounds weird to be friends with your ex and his new wife, but it worked for us. It was the best situation for Ellie, and we avoided a lot of needless fighting and stress.

So, making lemonade after that news wasn't so easy.

Alec kept in contact with Ellie, but there was really no reason to have as much contact with me. Understandable, of course, but it still hurt. A lot.

I fell into a depression, and ended up selling the house and moving back home to Forks.

My sister, Rose, and her husband, Emmett, let us live with them over the summer.

I ended up finding a job at Newton's Sporting Goods as their website designer. They had an online store that needed constant updating and preening. The job was less than ideal for me, but it paid well considering we were in Forks and I needed the money.

When I got back on my feet, Ellie and I moved into a small two bedroom apartment not too far from the local high school.

Teenagers are an expensive breed, and Ellie was starting to prove that theory.

In the short time that I lived with Rose, she had put me through a rigorous make-over; she said I needed to start fresh and what better way to do that than to change the way you look.

She was right.

Away went the baggy jeans and frumpy sweaters; in came the nice fitting boot-cut, designer-looking, special-washed jeans and haltered, polyester, scratchy-looking tops.

Out went the chucks; in came the heels.

Out went the unruly ponytail; in came the bangs and layered, feathered hair.

I had to admit, as my daughter put it, I looked hot.

Never in my life had I ever imagined myself this way.

It was like it had awakened something inside of me. Even my vag now wanted things. I couldn't explain it. All the changes in my life had made me who I was, and I liked the person I was on the inside, but the outside changes brought along the feeling of completion somehow.

At thirty five, I finally felt like a woman.

It's sad that it took that long, but I could never regret my life. I had a beautiful daughter, and now my outside matched my inside. Or at least, that's how Rose had put it.

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**So there you go. This _was_ Bella's life, do you think she'll be able to let someone in? Let's hope so.**

**I have a bunch of chapters written, but I plan on updating once a week. For those used to reading my longer fics, you know I'm good with this, lol. **

**I've been working on some one shots and another fic. Maybe you'll get a few stories throughout this one...who knows!**

**A huge thank you to my beta, BellaEdwardlover1991, and to my pre-readers, WitchyVampireGirl and Scrimmy, for shinning this thing up! :o)**

**Join me on FB, Missy Melissa Cullen, or join our group, Sweetward's Mistresses. **

**See ya there!**

**xox**

**Missy**


	2. Chapter 2

2.

All these explanations and situations about moving and getting make-overs bring us to today.

It's Ellie's first day of school here in Forks. She's nervous. I can't blame her, but it feels like a fresh start. Oh hell, it_ is_ a fresh start.

She's been through a lot in her short life, and moving here wasn't as easy for her as it was for me. She actually had friends and a life in L.A. whereas, my best friend had moved away. He had found a life for himself, whether I wanted it or not.

Little did I know that leaving that lonely life behind was the best thing I could have ever done.

"Do you have your lunch?" I ask my now fourteen year old daughter.

Ellie rolls her eyes but smiles. "Yes mom, and I'm sure it'll be fine. Mike said he'd show me around."

It's like none of this affected her. We moved here, she met some kids her age, and because the "no dating until you turn fourteen rule" backfired, I had to say yes when she asked if she could go out on a date with Mike. She had turned fourteen over the summer, and he was a nice enough kid, there was no reason for me to say no.

Except now my fourteen year old has a boyfriend and I don't.

"Alright, well you have a good day." I wave, and she gets out of the car and heads toward the school.

I see Mike Newton walk up to her and kiss her cheek. It's sweet to see them like that. I have to remember to give her the sex talk soon. Otherwise, I may have to kill my boss' kid and well, I'm not sure that'd be such a good thing.

Because to add insult to injury, I work for my potential son-in-law's parents. But turning lemons to lemonade and all that, means that at least I'm family, so I'm trying not to think about what could, or most likely will happen when they split up.

I'm lost in my own thoughts and as I drive forward a bit, the car in front of me comes to an abrupt stop, and I do the same to avoid a collision.

My heart is beating out of my chest and my breathing is a little off. I've got my hands on the steering wheel and my eyes closed.

I'm struggling to regain my senses when a knock on my window startles me.

I slowly open my eyes and turn my head to see the most gorgeous pair of green eyes looking back at me. He smiles, making the corners of his eyes crinkle a bit, and I can feel my entire body flush under his gaze.

Holy crap!

I take a deep breath and return his smile. He nods toward the front of my car where I see the road is clear and it's finally my turn to go.

I shrug and do a shy wave, and he gives me a full white toothy grin and walks around the back of my car toward the school entrance. I'm so entranced by this stranger that I watch him until he disappears inside the school.

The drive to Newton's goes by in a blur as all I can think of is the intensity of those emerald green eyes.

I haven't felt my body react to anyone like that in years, if ever at all. Lord knows Alec, as nice as he was, never looked at me like that. It's nice and a little scary at the same time.

I sit at my desk and work while the day trickles by. I feel antsy and nervous, and I don't quite understand it.

It can't be because of the mysterious stranger that crossed paths with my car, that's just crazy. But somehow, in the back of my mind, he's there lingering with his sparkly eyes and disheveled light brown hair.

I don't remember seeing a ring, not that I looked or even care for that matter.

I'm not thinking about him at all.

Well, maybe a little piece of me does care and maybe a bigger piece is thinking about him. He's the first man to look at me in forever or maybe he's just the first one I see looking at me.

This make-over probably has a lot to do with that. I'm just not used to it.

I'm all sorts of confused and discombobulated.

Either way, the thought of him stays in my head for the entire day. I don't even know who he is, but yet when I close my eyes, he's there.

By 4 p.m., I'm so done with work, I practically run out the door.

I have to stop by the grocery store and get a few things for dinner. Ellie is probably home by now and doing her homework. I hope she emptied the dishwasher.

I make my way to the Shop n' Save in record time, and oddly enough, I avoid the traffic. Well, there may have been traffic, but I've been so distracted that I didn't notice.

I park my car near the spot where you drop off your shopping cart after you're done with it. I like to park there, it makes my getaway quicker after the bags are in the car. Obviously, I need better entertainment in my life.

I take my purse and walk briskly through the sliding glass doors. It's gotten chilly during the afternoon which reminds me that I need to go shopping for a new fall jacket.

I also need to get Ellie a jacket. We didn't need these things in L.A., this winter is going to be a little bit of a culture shock for her.

I grab a cart by the door and am pleasantly surprised when all four wheels actually work in tandem. I do an internal fist pump for small victories and make my way over to the fruits and vegetables.

I'm looking at apples and oranges when another cart slips by my peripheral and skims mine. I look up and see a familiar pair of green eyes looking back at me.

He's wearing a delightful smirk and I have to fight the urge to look away from the intensity in his stare. Instead, I lick my lips seductively, or what I think may be seductive, and smile back.

"It's you?" I say, but I'm scared shitless at this point.

Rose's speech about getting myself out there resounds in my head. I'm older and wiser now, more so than I was in my twenties. I'm no spring chicken, but I know when a man is interested in a woman. This guy, the one who keeps popping up beside me, is showing interest.

And I like it. A lot.

I'm giddy and my skin is prickling with excitement. My heart is beating a mile a minute, anticipating his next words.

"It's me. Didn't think I'd run into you here," he says, and that smile does something to my body.

My hormones kick in, and I start to wonder if it's a hot flash due to menopause or if it's because of him. I'm voting for team Hot Guy, I'm still too young for hot flashes.

"Well, I needed to buy food and I hear they sell that here," I reply without thinking. I sort of cringe and turn away because my sense of humor might be lost on him, hell it took Alec all of fifteen years to get over it and he still doesn't get half the stuff that leaves my mouth. He's just gotten used to looking passed it over time.

Just as I'm about to walk away, the beautiful man's loud guffaw echoes through my ears, and I chance a look up at him.

When I do, he's staring right at me, and his face is full of nothing but mirth. He's shaking his head and I can't help but wipe the worry out of my mind. Maybe this guy will get it.

He extends his hand to me in a friendly gesture. "I'm Edward Cullen."

I take his large hand in my small one, noticing the softness of his skin and the length of his fingers as they lock with my own. "Bella Swan," I say with a closed mouthed smile.

The closeness of our bodies and a certain zing of something within our proximity makes me shiver slightly. The feeling is certainly not caused by the cool weather, but probably by the stunning piece of broad shouldered man standing in front of me.

My smile broadens as our hands and gazes remain locked together while my other hand shoots up to brush a piece of stray hair away from my face and bring it behind my ear. I'm so not used to the layered bangs that I'm slowly brought out of our trance when the piece of hair falls back onto my cheek.

Edward clears his throat, which in turn takes us out of our little bubble. "So Bella, I'm new in town. Would you have dinner with me sometimes and maybe show me around?"

I laugh and shake my head. He's sweet and I will definitely go out with him, but his excuse is just too much.

"Edward, you've driven down Main Street, yeah?" He nods. "Then you've seen everything," I continue. His face falls slightly and I think he may have misunderstood my ramblings. "But I'll go out with you," I say maybe a little too eagerly.

He smiles triumphantly as we exchange phone numbers. He tells me he'll call me while I warn him about my ex-police Chief father.

He simply shakes his head and smiles at my silliness. As for me, I can't shake the giddiness I feel because just like that, I have a date set for Saturday with Edward Cullen.

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**Thank you so much for reading and reviewing! You guys kinda rock and I really really wanna squishy hug you! :o)**


	3. Chapter 3

3.

Somewhere between the meat department and pharmaceuticals, Edward's cell phone rings. When he checks the number, he rolls his eyes and says a quick goodbye, but promises to see me soon. I hear him answer his call as he walks off, but I do my best not to eavesdrop.

I pick up the rest of what I need, and too soon I find myself pulling up to the house without even remembeing how I even got there. It's like I'm in my own little bubble.

When I walk into the house, I drop the grocery bags by the door and toe off my shoes. I do a double take when I walk by the hallway mirror. The woman that stares back at me through the reflection looks like me, but she's a lot prettier. Rose did an awesome job with the make-over. No wonder Edward was interested.

A pang of doubt washes over me when I realize that if this works out, he'll see me for who I really am at some point. I'm not this high maintenance, high heel wearing, highlights and lowlights in her hair, type of girl. I'm Bella, the chick who swears by her ponytail and sneakers.

I shake it off and decide to just go for it anyways. If Edward turns away at the first sign of a running shoe, then he's not worth it.

Which reminds me, I need to get fresh contacts, otherwise I'll be wearing my eyeglasses on the weekend, and, well, that's just not sexy.

"Hey mom," Ellie greets me as I walk around the corner from the entryway. I set the bags on the kitchen counter and we proceed to put away the groceries.

I smile at my daughter and get myself out of that self-doubt mindset. We chit-chat about her first day at school and about her teachers. She tells me about Mr. Cullen, her English teacher who, even if he's old - her words not mine - he's "super hot".

I chuckle but say nothing to her about the possibility that her teacher is my date, but I do tell her that I am going out on Saturday.

Her excited squeals as she jumps up and down make me giddy and I relax a little at the notion of moving on.

I also realize that I haven't been on a date in years. Alec was the first and only guy I dated.

I spend the rest of the week in blissful denial as nerves slowly creep up on me the closer we get to Saturday night.

On Saturday afternoon, I call Rose to help me calm down and then remember that in all the nervous energy and life swishing and going on around me, I've forgotten about my stupid contacts.

After showering, shaving and buffing, I do my hair in a sexy twist and let soft tendrils frame my face. Then, as per Rose's suggestion, I wear a short black skirt, exposing my long legs, and pair that off with a low-cut, white, cashmere sweater.

I do minimal make-up, only applying mascara and a deep shade of red lipstick. By all accounts, I look pretty damn hot.

I choose a pair of deep red pumps that subtly match my lipstick and smile at the reflection I see in the full length mirror in my bedroom.

"Holy shit, mom. You look hot!" Ellie screeches from the hallway.

I turn just as she's walking into my bedroom. "Language, Ellie. And thanks, sweetie." I smile even if I'd like to admonish her about the language, there really isn't much I can say about it.

I take my black-rimmed eyeglasses and slip them on and chance another glance a the mirror. "Is this too much?" I ask Ellie, making eye contact with her reflection.

She smirks. "You look really good, mom. He'd be crazy not to like you."

The doorbell rings, reminding me that shit is getting real. I have a date. Tonight. With a hot man. Who's more than possibly my daughter's teacher.

Holy shit.

"I'll get it, mom," Ellie says as she walks out of the room. I can hear her bouncing down the stairs, I think she may be just as excited about this as I am.

I take a last cleansing breath and make my way down the hall.

From where I stand, I can hear Ellie and Edward talking. He is her teacher, after all. Her words about him being old and hot resonate in my head, making me smile and shake my head.

My daughter is certainly something, and I simply adore her.

I carefully take the steps one at a time, and when I look up, I can see Edward's eyes trained on every inch of my body. My breathing falters and I hold on to the railing, the intensity of his stare is palpable in the small hall.

"Hi," I say and smile warmly.

He returns my smile. "Hi. I didn't know you were Elisabeth's mother," he says.

My face falls and I look down to my hands which are twitching and fumbling around in front of me. I think I've totally screwed things up.

Maybe he doesn't date single mothers.

Maybe he doesn't date his students' parent.

Maybe I should just forget about the whole thing, he's obviously so out of my league, there is no way this could work.

Edward takes a few steps and stands before me. "Bella?" I look up to meet his eyes. "It's okay," he says softly. "It'll give us something to talk about if we can't think of anything else."

His smirk is teasing and his eyes are conveying something in them, understanding? I don't quite know what it is, but he's pulled me right in and I don't want to give up just yet.

I breathe a sigh of relief. "You're sure?"

He extends his hand, wordlessly asking for mine. "Absolutely."

Ellie snickers and goes into the kitchen mumbling about "old" people. I'll need to talk to her about that tomorrow.

Edward and I make our way outside and I giggle when he opens the passenger side door for me. "So gallant," I comment. He smirks and shakes his head before closing the door.

I watch him walk around the front of the car. For the first time, I'm able to truly take him in. He's tall and lean but not skinny. His broad shoulders, shown off in a gray V-neck knit sweater, taper off nicely at the hips. His black dress slacks are perfectly fitted over his butt, making it look round and perfect. My fingers flex at the thought that maybe I'll get to graze my hand against it. Later. Maybe.

We drive quietly, it's not an uncomfortable quiet it's just a nice atmosphere with light music from the local radio station playing in the background. We're not going far anyways, and really, I'm passed annoying chatter to fill the void. If we're already in need to fill it, we may as well end it right now. Which we're not, and I'm rather grateful for that.

Edward keeps an eye on me and I smile shyly when I catch his eye. His ears tinge pink from being caught looking, and damn if it's not the cutest thing ever.

He parks the car in front of the local Chinese restaurant, and turns in his seat to look at me. "Is this okay?"

I nod. "I haven't been out in...a while. This is perfect," I admit reassuringly. I don't want to tell him right away that it's been almost fifteen years since I've had a date. That may make me sound a little too desperate or eager. We don't want that.

"Hold on, alright?" Edward breaks me out of my thought, makes a mad dash out of the driver's side door and walks around the front of the car.

I giggle when he opens my door for me and asks for my hand. "You don't have to do that, you know?" I shake my head and look up at him through my lashes.

Edward shrugs, his eyes alight. "I know, but I want to."

It doesn't get passed me that he doesn't let go of my hand as we walk up to the door.

My hand fits nicely in his and I'm surprised that mine's not all gross and clammy. Maybe it's age. Actually, that totally makes sense. There is no way in hell I would have gone out with a man like Edward when I was younger.

Now, I feel like I've grown into who I am, why wouldn't he want to be with me? I'm a great catch, dammit. I scoff at my inner thoughts. Trying to boost my self esteem while on a date with what could be the holy grail of the male species is making me all kinds of flustered.

This can't be that bad, right?

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**Right? So, do you think Bella's going to freak out? Maybe spaz out a little?**

**Oh, and I have to share something with you guys, my bestest, awesomest readers, I've been nominated for 3 Eclipse Awards. I know, shocking, right? I'm still reeling...anyways, voting starts on May 5th. GO vote! http: / twilighteclipseawards . blogspot . ca/ (remove spaces) **

**See you next week! ;o)**


	4. Chapter 4

4.

We walk to the door of the restaurant hand in hand. This feels so nice, completely different than what I've been treated to. My lips turn up at my own thoughts just as Edward turns to me and lets go of my hand to open the door to the restaurant.

"What are you smiling at, beautiful?" he asks, his voice alight.

I look up at him and shrug. "Nothing. This is nice, thank you," I say, and walk in front of him as he's apparently letting me go inside first. I shake my head, such a gentleman.

He rests his hand on the small of my back and guides me to the hostess' booth where she indicates for us to follow her. Edward's hand never leaves me as we make our way to our table. I like it. Yet again, I can't remember ever being treated this way.

Edward pulls out my chair and I thank him for being so sweet.

The waitress comes over and fills us in on the specials. She doesn't flirt with him, which is refreshing considering how attractive he is. Lord knows I would have in her shoes. He exudes this air around him, I can't pinpoint it, but I like it. Just like I like everything else about him so far.

"So, Bella, tell me about yourself." His smile is infectious. I can't help but return it as I tell him about my little life.

It dawns on me that I've been doing a hell of a lot of smiling since I've met him.

I tell him about my job and my hobbies. He laughs when I tell him about reading fanfiction. I can't blame him, I would too. If he only knew that about half of what I read is filled with literary porn, he'd probably think very differently of me. Maybe I'll tell him someday.

Those lemons do make for a good imagination.

We chatter about Ellie and he reassures me that this won't be an issue as he only teaches her one class. I'm thankful for that. I can tell already that there is a definite connection between us, something stronger than just physical attraction. On my end anyways.

I tell him a little bit about Alec and the reason for my move to Forks. I tell him how long I've been divorced for, but I forgo the fact that I haven't dated since.

"Bella, I haven't dated in ten years. I have no idea what I'm doing here," he says out of nowhere. I'm taken aback. How does a man like that not date for ten years?

"Ten years, huh?" It dawns on me that I haven't asked him about his past. Not that he knows much about mine, except that I have a daughter, an ex-husband and questionable taste in clothes. Although the last part may just be in my own head.

He smirks. "I was married for eight years. We've been divorced for almost a year. No kids."

Ah, that explains it. "Do I want to know?" I ask wearily.

"She was sleeping with her best friend. Her very female best friend." He takes a sip of his drink and nods, his eyes wide and playful.

"Oh. Well, I guess some things you just can't fix," I say and take my drink, mimicking him.

With the awkward stuff behind us, we settle into more diverse conversation. I tell him about my sneaker collection, to which he replies with his morning routine, which includes jogging five miles.

He says he'd rather date a natural beauty than a faked one. I duck my head and feel my face get red. What I'm wearing tonight is far from natural. He's seen me with less make-up, but I worry that I've gone too far with the lipstick and mascara.

"Bella?" he says, and I look up to meet his eyes. "You realize you're a natural beauty, right?"

I scoff, "Rosalie, my sister, made me up to look like this. I'm usually in that sneaker collection with a pair of jeans and a ponytail."

Edward chuckles. "I know. I've been in town for a few months. I went to Newton's to get a new pair of hiking boots and saw you there."

This gets my attention. "So, it's not all this?" I point to myself in some strange flailing finger wave.

Edward holds his belly and laughs a little louder. "I have to admit that I nearly didn't recognize you, but your eyes, Bella, your eyes are just...I couldn't not ask you out once I bumped into you again. Even behind the glasses, there was no way I didn't notice those."

I suck in my bottom lip and nervously toy with it as I ponder his words. I was worried completely for nothing. Age be damned, he wanted me, in whatever form he could get. "So the outfit is a bit much, huh?"

Edward quirks an eyebrow and leans in a little bit to whisper. "I like it, actually. It's fulfilling one of those teenage librarian fantasies I may or may not have had. And the glasses? Good lord, woman." He shakes his head and sighs huskily.

A shiver runs through me as I let his words sink in. Holy crow. Crap. Fuck. Holy fuck!

I shift in my chair a little, his words leave me speechless but the smile on my face says something else.

We chit-chat a bit more about his move but the sexual tension is there. Even I feel it and I'm usually, well, always the oblivious one. Alec used to tell me I had no libido. Which, in turn ended our relationship.

Apparently he was no Edward Cullen, because this man has ignited something in me, I just hope he can put it out.

I giggle, maybe I could put out?

"I'd love to know what's going on in that head of yours," he says.

I shake my head. There is no way in hell he's finding out about this one. Ever. "Nevermind."

We finish eating and it's quiet again. I'm lost in my thoughts, I don't want to go home yet.

I examine his face, quietly taking in his features. His nose is slightly crooked, it makes me want to ask him what happened to it. He's got a little cut on his jaw, maybe he cut himself shaving? Otherwise, his jaw is well defined and I lick my lips at the thought of licking it.

I shift in my chair again. This time, it's to relieve...something. An aching deep within. Something I don't remember feeling.

"Are you okay, Bella?" he asks, his fingers flexing over the linen tablecloth.

I nod. And eye those fingers longingly. "Yeah, why?"

"You're just so quiet, different. This is nice, not having to fill the void," he admits quietly.

I nod. "It is."

"Do you want to come over? To my house? Not to... oh god...I don't mean-" he rambles and presses his palm against his forehead. I start to giggle before he's done talking.

"That sounds good. We could watch a movie?" Smooth, right? Yeah, I can do smooth. We're both adults in our thirties. I think we're over being coy.

That was smooth, right?

Edward makes a face, it's adorable. "A movie, yes, that sounds less lame than what I was saying."

And by movie, I hope he knows I was thinking making out and maybe a little bit of groping. Or a lot.

"A movie sounds good. Didn't you have anything planned after dinner?" I may sound a bit presumptuous but, don't guys usually plan dates?

Edward stands and takes my hand, kissing it lightly. "No, I hadn't thought further than dinner. Ten years, Bella. I'm no spring chicken and I've never been good at the dating game. I figured if we made it through dinner, I'd go from there." He just shrugs and smirks.

I snort. "You got me there, old man. Bring me to your house. I want to see how big your television is." I wiggle my eyebrows and look up at him from under my lashes. Damn, this flirting. It's so not me, but by the look on his face, he seems to like it.

"You're killing me, Bella. You know that?" he says through clenched teeth making me giggle.

After Edward pays the bill, we make our way out of the restaurant.

We're quiet, yet again. I'm lost in my thoughts.

I wonder where to draw the line. I've never been on a date like this. Ever. I'm not one of those girls who sleeps around, obviously. I know Edward wouldn't make me do anything, it's just not in his nature. Unless he's a damn good actor, if so, I have more to worry about than my long-gone non-existent virtue.

He opens doors for me, always the perfect gentleman. It's obviously engrained in him. "Was your dad as gallant with your mom?" I ask as we drive down Main Street toward what I assume is his house.

He tells me about his parents. They live in Seattle which is why he moved to Washington from Chicago where he lived with his wife. He likes small town life and needed something different after the divorce. I tell him about my father and he says he knew that since I'd mentioned it when we first met.

He hasn't forgotten one word I've said. I wonder how long that will last? Men tend to forget stuff after a while. Or was that just Alec?

We get to Edward's house, and he rushes to open the door for me.

The gesture is nice, but I'm not sure I'll ever get used to it.

Now that we're here, I wonder exactly how far this evening is going to go and how other people do this dating thing.

But Edward's soft, warm hand in mine distracts me from my thoughts, and I can't wait to get him alone.

* * *

**Wow, you guys have seriously floored me with the love. THANK YOU!**

**So...what do grown adults who are attracted to each other do when left to their own devices? **

**See you guys next week. ;o)**

**I've finished writing my OS for the Fandom 4 No Kid Hungry compilation, so I'll be able to concentrate on writing this lil ficlet. The F4NKH is a good cause, go visit http : / / fandomcause . info / to make your donation.**


	5. Chapter 5

**I may have forgotten this. I don't own Twilight. As if y'all thought I did! lol**

* * *

5.

We walk up to the front door of his house and he ushers me inside and gives me a tour of the main floor. It's clean, but it's obvious that a single man lives here.

We go into the living room, and sure enough, his television is huge. Fifty inches at least. "Wow, that is one big TV you have there, Mister Cullen."

I make my way to his wall of DVD's and start looking through titles. I can feel his eyes on me, but I decide not to let it bother me. If anything, I hope he does make a move.

Edward closes the distance between us, and I can feel him right behind me. "That's a good one right there," he says as I pick up a random movie. The tone in his voice is unmistakably low and raspy. I have no idea what I picked as his breath is tickling my ear and that shiver from earlier is back with a vengeance.

I turn around and hand it to him. "Put it in then." I smirk and walk over to the sofa. I sit at one end and give him the option of sitting wherever.

He puts in the movie then turns to me and smirks. I shrug and silently pat the seat beside me. I'm being a little bold, but it's 9 p.m., and that's past my bedtime. If we're going to pretend to be all coy, could we speed it up a little bit, maybe?

Edward sits beside me, remote in hand and within a few minutes, Spider-Man starts playing. I like that movie so I don't argue. Good choice on my part, if I do say so myself.

We're quiet. His dress-pant clad thigh is touching my bare one. My skirt has ridden up a bit as I sat and I guess I didn't right it. Right now, it's all I can focus on.

There is one layer of fabric between his thigh and mine. A very thin layer of fabric is stopping his skin from touching mine.

"Is everything okay, Bella?" Edward's voice brings me out of the staring contest I'm having with our thighs.

I turn my head to look at him. He's right there, maybe a foot away from me. We're adults, yet I want to jump on him, and do nasty things I've only seen my older sister do when she was a teenager, and had her boyfriends at our house late at night.

It's so wrong, but yet, holy crap, it would feel so good.

All that damn fanfiction I read is not helping. Lemons? Yes please!

I meet his eyes, and what I see there is something akin to lust. "Everything is fine," I say, but I really just want to tell him to touch me.

He smirks. Damn this man. "Am I sitting too close?"

I shake my head. "No, not at all. Why?" I lick my lips instinctively. He's right there. Just a few inches and I could have my lips on his.

His eye drop to my lips and his tongue peaks out to wet his own. I swallow audibly.

Please god, make him make a move.

My toes are curling. My chest is heaving. My breathing is all wonky. There is no way in hell he can't tell I want this too.

I lean in, just a little, testing the water, seeing if he'll do it too. When his face is a mere inch from mine, I close my eyes.

I feel his lips, feather light, press against mine. A soft whimper escapes my throat, the feeling is so good.

His lips move against mine, soft; testing. Then a little bit firmer.

We start moving together; his lips sucking in my bottom one while mine take in his top one.

Edward's hand makes its way to my neck; his thumb lightly stroking my jaw.

I tilt my head to the side and slide my tongue against his lip, asking for entrance. It's soft and sweet, his taste lingering, mingling with mine as our tongues dance languidly against each other.

My hands make their way into his hair. God, it's so soft, the tendrils sliding through my fingers. I pull him closer to me, needing more.

Edward's hand ghosts down my neck and shoulder, the sensation makes me shiver in the most torturous ways.

His other hand goes to my thigh and I groan.

I'm making noises I can't remember making without the aid of a vibrator, but his hands on me, just like this, feel so good. I can't help wonder how good they'd feel somewhere else.

I break the kiss, needing oxygen, although I think it's highly overrated, but when Edward kisses his way down my neck and his hand pulls me closer to him, hot damn, thank the good lord for making us breathe.

I bring my hands to Edward's shoulders to steady myself, and take some initiative to straddle his lap. He groans and helps me, bringing both of his hands to my thighs to steady me.

"I never did stuff like this in high school," I muse between kisses to his jaw. It's hard and scruffy. I bury my nose against his throat and inhale, he smells so damn good.

Edward chuckles. "Me either."

I pull back and search his face. "Why not? I bet you were hot. All the girls must've wanted a piece of this." I tickle the side of his neck with my fingernails.

"Oh, Bella, I was a bookworm in high school. I married the only girl I slept with and she ended up being a lesbian. I was serious earlier, I don't do this kind of thing."

I'm taken aback. Doing the math... "Holy shit, one woman?"

Edward nods sheepishly and ducks his head, burying his face in my neck. I hug him to me and smile. "I've only had one too," I say with a shrug.

Edward chuckles. "We're pathetic."

I pull his head away from my neck and bring us face to face. "We're changing that right now."

I get off of his lap, and for the first time tonight, I extend my hand to him and take the lead.

Edward chuckles at my eagerness and looks up to meet my eyes. "Bella, I want you. It's pretty obvious." We both eye his crotch, and holy shit, I think he's got a roll of quarters in there. Maybe even two. "But not on the first date. I want you. Badly." He shakes his head. "So badly that I can hardly think straight. But I would like to see where this goes, I think there's more between us that that."

I chew my bottom lip. The thought of him rejecting me crosses my mind briefly, but one look at his eager cloth-covered cock tells me otherwise.

"You're right." I nod in agreement and resume my position, straddling his lap. "But we can keep making out like teenagers, yeah?" I smile and twine my fingers behind his neck.

Edward smirks and leans in. "Absolutely. I'm up for making up for lost youth." With that he brushes his lips to mine and we kiss like the teenagers we once were.

Edward's hands are torturous on my hips. I'd like them lower, higher, all over. I moan when I feel my skirt hike up high on my thighs. I've got my knees gingerly positioned on either side of his thighs but we've been like this for a while, and it's taking all of my resolve not to grind myself over his crotch.

I'm wet, these underwear are ruined. With every pass of his tongue over mine, and every brush of my hardened nipples over his firm chest, my resolve softens and my legs spread just a little wider, making the skirt go up my thighs that much more.

I'm sure if I look down, I can see my panty covered pussy hovering only an inch over Edward's groin.

The heat of him rolls off of his body and onto mine. I'm clenching and bucking my hips against nothing. I want so much.

So, so much.

I break the kiss, and start kissing down his throat. In doing so, my pussy grazes the zipper of Edward's pants and he curses loudly, then leans his forehead on my shoulder.

I bury my nose in the hollow underneath his chiseled jaw and try to regain my senses. My breathing is beyond labored, my heart feels like it's about to jump out of my chest and Edward's fingers are curled into the fabric of my sweater, like he's holding onto it so that his hands don't wander.

"Shit, how do we expect teenagers to stay all virginal? No wonder my parents put Rose and I on the pill once we hit puberty," I ramble on breathlessly.

Edward chuckles, his shoulders bouncing under me. "I don't know. But I do remember going through a lot of hand lotion."

I laugh and hug him to me. I press myself against him comfortably. It's not really sexual, but feels more intimate than anything. It's comfortable and his smell and arms all around me is something I could never get enough of.

I realize that without a doubt, I really, really like Edward Cullen. Beautiful as he may be, it's not just that, it's so much more.

In a little time, he's broken some sort of barrier, something I'd put up a long time ago to protest myself and it dawns on me, as I'm pressed up against him, fully dressed, that he's actually managed to break it down.

Next time, I'm foregoing the fancy skirt. Although I really like how pressed together we are and I'm doing my best not to grind against him. I can feel him twitching, hard and ready against me. His heat isn't helping, as I'm sure mine isn't either.

"Baby, I'm going to have trouble getting up and bringing you home if you keep pressing yourself against me like that," he says and I giggle, moving a bit so that our middles aren't pressed together.

He's right, if we keep going at it the way we have, well, we'll just end up going at it.

An we've already established that we're not doing that tonight.

"Maybe you should drive me home soon then." I shrug and splay my fingers in his hair at the back of his head. It's so soft, I''m almost jealous. Almost.

He looks at his watch. "It's almost midnight, are you afraid my car will turn into a pumpkin?" he says with a grin, then leans forward and brushes a kiss against my temple. "But if you want to go, I'll bring you home, beautiful."

"I promised Ellie I wouldn't be too late. She's not used to her old ma getting some, you know?" I shrug and push off of his lap to stand. I straighten my skirt and smirk when I see Edward eyeing my mid-section.

"Like what you see?" I tease.

He shakes his head, a wide smile on his lips. "You have no idea."

I go to the bathroom and straighten myself out after taking care of business. When I come out, Edward is by the front door, keys in hand and ready to go.

We quickly and quietly make the short trip to my apartment, side-eyeing each other once in a while. He's wearing this goofy looking grin on his face, and I know it's probably exactly like mine.

Edward walks me to the door, where the porch light seems to be brighter than usual. "I guess this is exactly like coming home to my dad, huh?" I grin.

Edward nods. "It probably is. You think she's watching?" He nods toward the front living room window.

"Probably," I reply and take a step closer to him. "But you can kiss me anyways."

And he does. It's soft and sweet, but oh so hot.

I wave him goodbye, and when I walk through the door, I press my back to it and thank God or whomever is up there for bringing Edward into my life.

* * *

**So ehmm... a little hotness, yeah?**

**Thank you guys so much for all the love! I really appreciate it! :o)**


	6. Chapter 6

6.

It's late. The house is dark and Ellie is in bed. Thankfully, my daughter is at that age where she can be responsible enough with her own bedtime, and I don't need to be reminding her to go to bed.

Actually, she's at that age where I can have my own life again without worrying about leaving her behind since she also has her own things going on. It hurts that she's slowly finding herself and making her own decisions, but I guess it's all part of growing up and we all have to go through it at some point or another. Besides, I'll always be her mother first and foremost, no matter what, and this is something I've been drilling into her head since she was very little.

That being said, I'm not sure I'll ever be able to have an adult sleepover unless Ellie is having a sleepover of her own. It would be totally weird to have Edward in my bed with my daughter's bedroom right down the hall. But then, the thought of leaving Ellie alone overnight is also unsettling.

As I toss and turn, these thoughts keep popping in and out of my head. I look at the clock and dammit, hours have passed and I'm still looking up at my bedroom ceiling.

At some point, I actually drift off to sleep to images of Edward with his sparkly eyes and plump lips.

…

I wake up refreshed, in spite of my lack of sleep. I can hear noise coming from downstairs, I can only assume that Ellie is up and about.

She's always been a morning person, ever since she was old enough to reach for the cereal boxes, she's let us sleep in on the weekend. Alec used to think it was sweet that she didn't want to wake us. I've just always thought it to be pretty awesome, even if her real reason is that she gets to eat all of the marshmallows from the Lucky Charms.

To this day, she still does. Luckily, she'll actually sit down and eat the rest of the cereal with milk after all of the Charms are gone.

Quirky girl, gotta love her.

I go through my morning routine, making sure that I don't have any marks from my heated make-out session that could possibly get me into some precarious situations with my teenage daughter. Lord knows she's reminded me more than once this past week as to how old I am.

I make my way downstairs, sans hickey, only wearing some ratty sweats and a tank top. Ellie pretends to be all casual, but her body language says otherwise.

She's a bit jumpy and she keeps watching me move around the kitchen as I gather a bagel from the pantry and some cream cheese from the refrigerator.

I then start up the coffee maker and take out a mug. Coffee is my best friend in the morning. Without it, I would not function.

I roll my eyes and wait patiently until she finally breaks down and asks whatever it is that's running around that head of hers. "Did you kiss Mister Cullen?"

I snort, unable to hold it in. On the one hand, I really, really do not want to have this conversation with my teenage daughter, on the other hand, it's not like I can deny it. It's a simple question and it's not like she asked me if I 'd slept with him.

Lord help me if she ever does. I may not survive that one.

I just shake my head, then look up to the Heavens for help. Lightning doesn't strike and nothing beams me up to get me out of this conversation.

Dammit, I may have to say something.

I spread cream cheese to my toasted bagel halves and think of how I can word this carefully without blurting it out.

"Well, honey, when two grown adults like each other-" I start but she just cuts me off with a huff and an eye roll.

"Mom, I didn't ask you if you'd rounded any bases, I asked you if you'd kissed him, geez," she says, smiling and rolling her eyes. So dramatic.

I put the butter knife in the sink. "What do you know about bases?" I narrow my eyes at her, level her stare. Putting a hand on my hip and cocking my head to the side, I wait for an answer while giving her the "mom" look. The one that says "don't bullshit me young lady".

Her cheeks get pink and she sucks in her lips, biting them, clearly uncomfortable.

"Elisabeth, talk to me," I refuse to give her an out on this. She's fourteen and yes, she has a boyfriend and I know that kids are very...experimental these days, but I want to know exactly what's going on in her head.

I take my bagel and pour a cup of coffee as my patience wavers. I'm not sure I even want to know, but dammit, the butterflies fluttering in my belly are evidence that I may not like her answer one bit.

Who am I kidding, she knows about bases, I'm screwed either way.

I sit on the sofa in the living room with my food and put the scolding coffee on the coffee table in front of me while I wait for it to cool down a bit.

"So?" I motion for her to talk.

She comes over to the sofa and sits next to me. She's quiet, too quiet. Ellie...is never quiet.

"Well, I've kissed Mike," she says. Yeah, I knew that. I've flicked the lights on the porch on and off on more than one occasion when he's dropped her off.

I'd disarming to see your child kiss someone passionately, but then she's growing up, I guess. Kissing I can live with. Groping and bases...not so much. "Bases, Ellie. What do you know about bases?"

"Well, I've heard the kids at school talk, mom. I know kissing is first base, but I'm not clear on what the rest are. Well, except the last one, of course. I've taken sex-ed. I know where babies come from and no, I am so not doing...that." She flails her arms around and scrunches up her nose.

Good to know. "You're too young for that," I say pointedly. "And for any of the bases passed kissing, are we clear?"

"Yes, and if it makes you feel better, Mike keeps his hands to himself. Mister Newton gave him this speech about grand kids. You should have seen his face when he told me about it, it was so funny." She giggles and sighs, settling into the cushion beside me.

"Okay, well yes, Mister Cullen did kiss me." I don't tell her about the dry-hump fail or about the fact that I was in his house alone with him. On a first date, no-less.

"So is he like your boyfriend or something?" she asks as she flips the channels on the television.

I think about it for a few minutes, chewing on my bagel. "No, we're dating right now. We'll see how things go."

With that last statement, she settles on a channel and I lose her attention to something Hannah hasn't done yet. Funny, I thought that show was over, but apparently re-runs go on forever.

I do want to have an open and honest discussion with Ellie about these things. I can't hide it from her. Even if this thing with Edward doesn't go passed a second date, I may actually want to date other men.

It was kind of freeing to just go with my instincts and do things I've never done. I've been too cautious my entire life and what has it given me?

Yes, I have a beautiful daughter and I wouldn't change that for the world, but I mean, personally...what do I have?

I'm a single woman in my mid thirties with a growing libido and a need for a few good toys. Or a few good men.

I'm divorced from what I've come to realize was my crutch. Yes, I know it's sad, but I do realize that the relationship I had with Alec was probably not that healthy. I was too dependent on him. He was my best friend for god's sake, even after he'd gotten re-married.

I eat my bagel while staring blankly at the Disney channel. These thoughts invading my head are really mind altering.

It feels like some sort of revelation, which I guess it is.

So basically, making out with Edward has taught me that I need to live a little.

If nothing comes of this thing I have going with him, at least I will have learned something and had fun doing it.

"We're having dinner with grandma and grandpa tonight. Rose, Emmett and Alice are going to be there. When you go over to Mike's this afternoon, make sure you get back here before 4 p.m.," I tell Ellie as she answers her phone.

I know it's Mike. They meet almost every Sunday at his house after lunch. His parents are there which is the only reason I let her go.

When she's done with the call, she comes back to sit beside me. "Do you think Mike can come?"

"You want to bring your boyfriend to meet your grandparents?" It's a statement more than a question.

She shrugs. "I know Alice is bringing Jasper. Mike and I have been dating for way longer."

I nod. "Fine. But if your grandpa gets weird and shows Mike his guns, don't say I didn't warn you."

I drink my coffee and smile when she narrows her eyes at me.

Well, dinner with my parents will be interesting for once.

Now I need to call Rose and ask her about this Jasper fella. I didn't even know they'd let Alice start dating since she's only thirteen.

Oh yes, dad will definitely have a field day with this one.

* * *

**Okay, so I'm posting early. Like really early... but, there is a good reason. Friday, Saturday and Sunday, I'll be posting a drabble. It's written according to some picture prompts in the Drabble War group on FB. Anyways, I figured I may be a tad busy so... you guys get this now. Pure win, right? RIGHT?**

**So, that being said, how do you like Ellie? I love her.**

**Did you know that her name is actually WitchyVampireGirl's daughter's name? Yeah, she totally let me use it!**

**And, AND... did you know that you guys are the bestest freaking readers ever? Yeah you are! Thank you so much for all the love! :o)**


	7. Chapter 7

7.

Sunday dinners at mom and dad's are, in all honesty, pretty boring.

Don't get me wrong, I love my parents, I really do, but there are only so many times you can look at your mom's newest quilt and tell her how nice it is before they all start to look the same. Oh and hearing dad talk about the latest episode of CSI, is only entertaining to some that actually watch the show. Unfortunately, I don't watch it.

My parents aren't that old. Dad is fifty-nine and retired at fifty-five. Mom is only a few months younger. They went to high school together and have been sweethearts their entire lives.

They joke around and are pretty open about things. Maybe this is why Ellie and Alice bringing their boyfriends for dinner isn't that much of a big deal.

Plus, chances are that mom and dad already know them. This is a small town.

I wonder if they know Edward.

I also wonder if I'll ever get to bring Edward, or any man for that matter, to dinner with my folks.

They raised Rosalie and I to believe in true love and soul mates. It's nice that they are still so in love after all of these years.

Rosalie was lucky to find her soul mate in Emmett. They went to U-Dub and graduated the same year. Never once have they been apart for more than 24 hours.

It was weird for me to have a child before my older sister, but her and Emmett had big plans before settling down. They traveled and lived abroad for a little while and eventually got married.

When Ellie was about a year old, Rose gave birth to Alice.

It sucked to live so far away from her while we were both raising our girls, but they saw each other often enough and remained close.

I guess with Alice being here, it was also another reason why Ellie never had any issues making friends.

"Hello," I answer my ringing cell phone. It's three thirty and I've been keeping myself busy by cleaning the house before picking up Ellie and Mike, and heading to dinner.

"Bella?" It's Edward. I'd recognize his deep, husky voice anywhere. It's smooth, like Nuttella spread over warm toast.

God, I want to lick him.

I shake my head, the thoughts that filter through my brain with him uttering just a single word are astounding.

"Hi, Edward." I take a seat at the kitchen island.

I bite my lip and smile. The thought that he called is making me all flustered and those butterflies run rampant in my belly.

"I was...ehm...I was thinking about you," he says. God if only he knew how much I thought about him too.

"Really? And what exactly where you thinking?" I draw invisible little patterns on the countertop with my fingertip.

The kitchen feels warm all of a sudden and I know I'm blushing.

"Just how nice it was to be with you last night. I was wondering if we could do that again?"

My face splits into this huge smile, the kind that makes your cheeks hurt. "I'd really like that too."

"Yeah? Do you have plans for dinner tonight?"

Shit. I don't want to cancel with my parents, Ellie has made all of these plans and I just... god I just can't cancel.

I run a hand through my hair and sigh. "I can't tonight. We're having dinner at mom and dad's."

"Oh, well I guess I'm a little last minute, huh?" I can hear the disappointment in his voice. I don't like it.

"Maybe, just a little. But we're usually back around 8 so that Ellie can shower and go to bed. Ya know, so she's all refreshed for her teachers in the morning." I tease.

Edward's deep chuckle resounds though the phone, the sound goes straight through me and makes me a little weak in the knees. "Well, there's always next weekend, right?"

The thought of waiting a week to see him isn't one I like very much. "How about you come over later. We could...watch a movie?"

I squirm in my chair, thinking of the last movie we watched together.

"Okay, I can do that. Are you sure it'll be okay with Ellie?" he asks, his concern is disarming and so, so sweet. It makes me like him even more, which I didn't know was even possible.

I tell him not to worry about Ellie. She'll be fine. After our talk this morning, I think she's okay with me dating.

I forgo telling him about the bases speech. I'm sure he's heard it all in school anyways. Working with teenagers must be something of an experiment in selective hearing.

When I hang up with him, it's already time to go pick up Mike and Ellie.

…

We're sitting around the dinner table. As I look around, it doesn't get passed me that I'm the only person here unattended.

Damn, a fifth wheel even at my own parents' house.

This kinda sucks.

But then, the prospect of seeing Edward later comes to mind and I smile as I mash my potatoes and carrots together.

"Bella, sweetie, is everything okay?" Mom asks, her voice full of concern.

They don't know I had a date last night. Seems nobody has let the cat out of the bag.

Yet.

"Hey grandma, mom had a date last night," Ellie blurts out excitedly, taking a bite of her mashed potatoes.

Oh, there it is.

Crap.

And she has the nerve to smile at me with a gleam in her eye. Oh, I love my daughter but sometimes...I kinda don't.

I close my eyes and take a deep breath while I wait for them to pounce.

But when they do, it's nothing like I expected.

Mom is squealing and giddy with happiness for me. She's practically clapping and jumping in her seat. It's sad, really.

Dad's mustache twitches back and forth, before it settles and he gives me a concerned nod and a "will we meet this one, Bells?" It's funny how I still expect him to be playing with his guns when I bring over a boy, especially since that kind of thing has never happened in our house.

Rose and Emmett just beam and keep eating. They know me well enough not to say much.

Plus, Rose is still waiting for me to come to her and tell her all the gritty details as if we're still teenagers.

I just might, I totally missed out on that stage in life and clearly she did too.

Alice is oblivious. She keeps staring at that Jasper kid like he's shitting unicorns and rainbows. Rose has her hands full with that one.

I roll my eyes. "It was one date, jeez. you all act like it's such a big deal." I shake my head and keep eating, ignoring the grin creeping up my cheeks.

"It is a big deal, Bella. It's about time you do something for yourself. You're far too beautiful and kind to spend your life alone." Mom tells me...again. We've had this conversation a million times, and every time, I know she's right but it's hard to put yourself out there. Something she doesn't seem to understand since she's never had to do it.

I know she just wants the best for me and Rose. She would have loved to see me be more like Rose, but Rose and I have always been miles apart in everything. Our looks, personalities and choices in life have been so vastly different, it's amazing we're as close as we are. Truth be told, Rose is the most giving person I know. She always wants the best for me and everyone she loves.

Which is why she's not butting in right now, even if the look in her face says otherwise.

"I know, mom. It is a big deal and he's...really great. When or if I'm ever ready, I promise I'll bring him by."

"Yes, well, apparently all my girls are into boys these days," he looks around and nods toward Ellie and Alice.

Alice is still making googlie eyes at Jasper, and Ellie's eating and chatting with her uncle Emmett while Mike stares at her profile, completely enamored by her.

"Dad, please, they're young, it won't last," I hiss, leaning into him so that they don't hear.

"Time will tell, Bells," he answers with a genuine smile while holding mom's hand over the table.

Looking around, I realize how I have missed out.

It makes me sad, but more determined to keep my heart open.

If things don't work out with Edward, there is no reason for me to close myself off. I should be happy.

I've spent too much time in the mindset of not needing a man to be happy, but the reality is, it's not about needing someone, it's about having someone there to share your life with.

I guess, in the long run, it's about time I realize that before it's too late.

…

**Hey, beautiful. Did you still want me to come over? - E **

**Yeah. We're leaving mom and dad's in a few. Meet me at the house in an hour? - B **

**I'll be there with bells on. - E **

**No, wait, that's just wrong. I'll be there, okay? - E **

**What? LOL - B **

**Nevermind, see you shortly, beautiful. - E **

"Was that Mister Cullen?" Ellie asks as we walk in the door.

I nod. "Yeah, he's coming over later."

"I see. And what are you guys gonna do?" There's a cheeky tone in her voice I'd rather ignore.

"Watch a movie. Talk. I don't know, but you, young lady, need to shower and go to bed." I narrow my eyes and kiss her forehead.

She runs off and does as I asked, yelling a "good night mom" from the top of the stairs before going to bed.

I end up fidgeting until the doorbell rings.

I'm nervous. I had this man's tongue rammed down my throat less than 24 hours ago, yet the thought of seeing him again makes the butterflies appear in my belly.

I haven't changed, I'm still just in my jeans and a regular t-shirt with my hair hanging around my shoulders and my glasses on. He said he'd seen me this way before, and well, I'm ready to test that theory.

And I really need to stop by and get my contacts tomorrow.

I open the door and what I see there takes the wind out of my sails.

Jesus Christ.

Edward...in low slung jeans...and a light blue polo shirt...and black Nikes...and holy hotness, Batman.

When my eyes finally make their treacherous way back to his face, he's smirking.

Dead.

I must have died.

My thirty-five year old body couldn't handle it and...I'm dead.

"Are you okay, Bella?" His voice brings me back. Seems being coherent is a problem when he's around.

This must be what Alice and Mike were doing at the dinner table earlier.

I clear my throat and smile. "I'm fine. You?"

He nods. "Good."

I stand there holding on to the doorknob like a goober for a few minutes too long before it dawns on me that I'm supposed to invite him in.

"So this is the living room." I nod, standing beside him.

I'm completely out of my element here. What are we supposed to do? What exactly do people do? I remember how Alec and I would watch television together. Or, more precisely, he'd lie on the couch and watch something while I sat in my rocking chair and read.

Yeah, exciting, I know!

I look up at Edward and he's just staring at me. "What?"

"Can I kiss you?"

His question takes me off guard and I giggle for a moment before looking up at him. "Yeah, okay."

And he does.

Threading his fingers gently at the nape of my neck, he pulls me closer to him and kisses me.

He takes and gives and leaves me breathless and panting. Boneless from the feel of his hands simply exploring my neck and sweeping the hair away from my cheeks. I moan, the sounds reverberating around us in the small room.

My hands on his hard chest then around his neck needing, pulling and god this is so much, almost too much and so, so good.

If just kissing this man makes me feel this much desire for him, I want more. I need to explore that with him.

I was ready for that last night, but now it's like this thing that's just there, in the air around us. A need to consume. I want him. I want to claim him and him me.

It's so powerful and overwhelming.

"We need to stop," I say breaking the kiss as Edward's mouth makes a trail down the column of my neck.

It's also the scariest feeling I've ever had.

With one last chaste kiss, Edward nods. "I know. I just can't be around you and not...do that. I'm sorry."

"Don't. It's not just you."

I see it in his eyes, glazed over from want and need, he's as consumed as I am.

Taking his hand, we settle on the sofa together.

But instead of turning on the television, we talk.

I tell him about the mundane things. About my parents and Rose. More intimate family matters that we hadn't discussed over dinner.

He also lets me in more. He tells me that he misses his friends. That he's afraid of sounding like a loser for saying that. He's vulnerable and exposed in a way that sucks me in.

I know without a doubt, even after this short amount of time, that I'm falling for him.

* * *

**So... that went well. Cat's out of the bag about her dating someone, woot woot. See, her dad wasn't that bad... no guns, lol. **

**So if any of you want a good cry, I posted a new story. Not Without You, is a sad tale about love and loss, told in 15 short drabbles.**

**Thank you so much for the reviews, alerts, ect... I feel like I have the best readers. It's nice to know y'all are reading my words, and I like to read yours... ;o)**


	8. Chapter 8

8.

When Edward leaves my house on Sunday night, it's past 11 p.m. and way past my bedtime.

I briefly wonder where he's been all my life but then reality comes back hauntingly as I undress in front of the bathroom mirror. I've gotten old, that's what's been happening all this time.

I'm tired and I know it's the hormones speaking. PMS is a bitch to deal with, but I can't help inspecting the small crow's feet around my eyes and the loose skin on my belly. Being a mother sometimes means sacrifices, for me it's my belly area. I have stretch marks and loose skin. No amount of cream or exercise is going to fix it.

I scrunch up my face and run my hand along my thighs. They used to be firmer but aren't anymore since I don't run like I used to. I have some cellulite. It's no biggie, I know most women have it, but I'd been so used to Alec seeing me in all my glory that it never occurred to me that someone else would someday.

I look up again and give my tits a firm squeeze. At least those are still nice and somewhat perky. From what I hear, lots of women my age have nipples that point south. I hope I never have that.

I sigh and turn on the water in the shower. There is no use for me to dwell on it. I can't change my body, and certainly not to please someone else. I'm actually pretty happy with the way I look these days.

Edward looks like sex on legs, well at least to me he does, yet he spent his evening with me because he wanted to. That says something about him. Obviously he's invested in this. If it were just for sex, he wouldn't have stopped me. The hardness I felt against my thigh earlier while he was kissing me was proof that I can elicit a reaction from him.

That thought makes me giddy.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Even if I think he's the most gorgeous creature I've ever laid my eyes upon doesn't mean everyone else does. Opinions differ. Likes and dislikes make it so that we're not all after the same type of person. If Edward were hardcore into blonds, he wouldn't have approached me.

I let these thoughts linger. It's positive affirmation, and I sort of need that.

I let the hot water run over my body and the feel of it envelops me in a little cocoon. I need the comfort after these negative thoughts about my self-image. There are certain things that no matter how much Rose or mom try to get into my head; I don't think I'll get over.

Sometimes, I wonder if Alec cheated on me because of his lack of desire for me. My body. My personality. If there was anything I could have done to prevent it. But then, I have to focus on something else. Like the fact that I wasn't into him all that much. I loved him, or maybe I thought I did. I never made the first move to get into his pants. I was quiet, never letting my opinions be known to him. Maybe he needed that. To be pushed. To be challenged. I was just never that for him. Or for myself.

I was easy.

Now, years later, that's changed.

I want things for myself. I have opinions and let them known. I'll challenge Edward if I have to. I won't be a pushover.

As the water cleanses my body, my mind is also cleared up of some of the residual self-doubt.

I feel renewed and refreshed as I towel dry my hair and slip on my nightgown. It's pink cotton with a drawing of a cat and a fish bowl on the front. I think I may need to do some lingerie shopping. This looks like it should be Ellie's.

I'm in bed before midnight and drift off to sleep easily, letting my limbs relax into the mattress and my thoughts go to a happy place. One with green eyes surrounded by long, dark eyelashes and kisses that leave me breathless.

…

Monday goes by in a flash. Work is as it always is. Boring and predictable. Everything is the same and blends in together. Update this site, fix up the text here and there. Make sure the prices are updated to show the sale items. It's all so boring, but it pays the bills and I'm so used to doing it that it's not very complicated for me to just go through the motions.

Ellie is happy when she greets me after work. Seems school was fun. They had an art project due and she says she got a good grade even if she had to work with a girl named Lauren, who, according to her, has such a huge crush on Mike. I listen and smile when she recounts her day. I like the gossip, it makes me giggle that what these kids think is so important is actually so trivial in the grand scheme of things.

"And, Mr. Cullen was super happy," she informs me while I'm flipping the burger patties in to my George Foreman grill.

I feel my cheeks heat up. Great I'm blushing at the mere mention of his name. "Oh yeah?"

"Yeah, mom. He likes you. He kept the whole period light and fun and didn't give us any homework. And, best part is, we actually learned something. He got Joey to learn about verb tenses. Apparently it's like this pet peeve of hers. Anyways, he was so cute when it finally clicked and she got it. He's such a good teacher."

_A good man_, I tell myself.

"Mom, do you think I can Skype dad later?" I nod and she continues. "Good. He wasn't on last Saturday like he said he would be and I want to talk to him about Jake."

"I'm sure his dog is fine, Ellie." Her concern for her father's mutt is endearing. She got attached to it over the week she spent with him last summer and she's always asking about it whenever they speak. "You didn't speak to your father on Saturday?" It just now dawns on me that I'd forgotten to ask. Weird, since it's their ritual. Usually I'm right there to hear about it the next day. I guess Edward provides for a better distraction than I thought. I like it.

"It's okay. Maybe he forgot." The disappointment in her words is palpable. He better have a damn good reason for not being there.

"Maybe. I'll call him after dinner to see what's going on." I give her a hug and plate our dinner while calming my nerves, knowing I'll have to deal with Alec later.

…

Ellie goes to play outside with the little girl next door. I can hear them giggle as they draw stick figures in my driveway with different colored chalk. I take advantage of this alone time to call Alec.

He apologizes profusely, saying he had an emergency come up. Then he says something I never expected to hear: Kate is pregnant.

This is huge. She never thought she could have kids and his swimmers were never the best, hence why we only had Ellie. We discuss this and the ramifications of telling Ellie. He explains that Kate is only 15 weeks along and had some bleeding on Saturday, which was why they weren't home.

I understand, but I tell him that he has to be the one to give Ellie the news. It's good news, I guess. For Ellie to have a sibling is wonderful, even given that age gap. Age is a subject that comes up, and when he says that Kate will be on bed-rest for the remainder of her pregnancy, I'm not surprised.

He lets me know that Ellie will have to stay with me over Christmas and March break, the two holidays which we usually switch up every year so that she can see him more than once a year. I don't mind at all actually. I'd rather her be with me anyways. Call me selfish, but I like it when my kid is actually around on Christmas. And March break will be more fun for her here since she has such an active social calendar.

Before hanging up, I make him promise to be around in about an hour so that he and Ellie can have that conversation about the baby and the holidays. I refuse to be the one to give her that kind of news. I won't cover for him. I've learned to stand up for myself and I'm pretty sure Alec has noticed a lot of changes since we split up.

Before going to bed, Ellie relays how happy she is about having a baby half sibling. Her words, not mine. She's very understanding about the holidays. She's grown up a lot, and I think she may just be too mature for her own age. Sometimes, I worry about the fact that we've made her grow up too quickly, but then again, she's always been an old soul.

I reassure myself that if she weren't okay with all of this, she'd tell me.

…

By 9 p.m., I'm dead on my feet and just go to bed. I haven't heard from Edward today, but we'd made no promises to call each other either. I do want to hear his voice, but the recent late nights have taken a toll on me and my bed is calling my name.

After showering, I lay in my bed, eyes wide open staring at the ceiling. I think of Edward, or more specifically of his hands and how they'd feel on my body.

For the first time in months, I break out my favorite toy from the nightstand and give in to my body's need to unwind from all the pent up sexual tension.

I fall asleep sated and yet still wanting. A strange new feeling washes over me and I decide to take the bull by the horns.

I'm definitely seeing Edward tomorrow, even if it means having to call him myself.

* * *

**Thank you guys for reading and reviewing and loving this little story. I'm not sure what will happen to my shit if it gets taken down, but please know you can either find me on Facebook (Missy Melissa Cullen) or on my bog (CullensTwiMistress . blogspot . com). I'll keep posting here until my stuff starts disappearing, when it does I'll most likely move to TWCS with all my WIP and just put PDF's of completed stories on my blog so you can download and read them. I'm still confused and uncertain about the whole thing so please bear with me.**

**I hope to keep y'all around.**

**xox**

**Missy**


	9. Chapter 9

9.

With renewed vigor, I wake up and go through the day with a smile on my face and a skip in my step. Mr. Newton is a little freaked out that I'm perky. I don't blame him, I'm usually not Mary Sunshine. I'd be scared too if I were him.

By the time I get home, my fingers are twitching over my phone keypad. I haven't bothered calling or texting Edward since I know he's in school. There's no use doing it when I know there's no way he will answer me.

I put my desire to speak to him aside long enough to focus on dinner and get in a little mother-daughter time before Ellie disappears to take a shower and go to bed.

I don't take much time to ponder anything. I'm nervous and excited and I feel like I'm going to explode as all these new emotions flow through me. I've never felt this way before. I've never wanted anything like this either.

If I'd known men like Edward existed, I might have waited. But then I should have known they did since the men in my life are pretty great. Dad and Emmett are pretty stand up guys and I have to admit that even Alec had some good traits. I'd like to think that I wasn't a complete tool for marrying him.

I remind myself every day that if it weren't for him I wouldn't have Ellie. Those thoughts are what have kept me grounded on the bad days.

I look down at the little pink phone in my hand and chew my lip. There aren't fifty ways of doing this. Just dial the damn numbers, for Christ's sake.

I'm nervous as my fingers slide over the screen and find the familiar name associated with my recent happy place. I'm such a total spaz, I almost forget to breathe as I wait for the line to start ringing and his voice to sooth my woes. I feel like I haven't heard him speak in ages. In reality it's been less than 48 hours. I've gotten a little needy.

"Hey, beautiful," he says. I can hear the smile in his voice and it makes my insides all melty.

"Hi. How are you?" I ask. I'm so nervous. I have no idea what to say and truthfully, I wish he were right here so I could hug him and maybe smell him a little. He smells so damn good.

"I'm good. I was just thinking about you." It doesn't take much to get me all swoony and that's a little scary if I'm being honest.

My smile is so wide, I think my face will split in half.

"Oh yeah?" I ask, sounding a little suggestive. Flirting is not my forte, but dammit, I'm giving it my all.

"Yeah. I spoke to my parents, they want to visit next weekend. They've never been to Forks, imagine that?" He chuckles, his voice low and smooth.

I laugh. Forks is the kind of place that if you drive by and blink, you miss it. "Why am I not surprised?"

"I kind of would need a little bit of a tour guide. I'm sorta new to town, you know?" I wonder where he's going with this. He pauses for a second and takes a deep breath. "Hey, you're from here, would you know anyone up for the task of spending an afternoon with me and my parents walking around La Push beach and visiting the local watering hole?"

I hum and pretend to ponder his question. "I'm not sure. Would this outing be kid friendly? I don't want to leave Ellie home alone all day and she's been bugging me about going back to the beach this time of year."

"That sounds great. I'd love to spend some time with the two of you and my parent's asked to meet you, if you're up for it, that is?" He sounds a little nervous all of a sudden and I don't like it.

It hasn't been very long but I'd love to meet his parents. It would make me feel better about our relationship to know a little bit more about him. "I'd love it. So, you've been telling your parents about me, eh?" I giggle and let the question hang there.

He clears his throat, probably just realizing what he'd said. "Yeah. I, ehm, I told them I was seeing someone. I like you a lot, Bella."

"I like you a lot, too," I say and feel myself growing all warm and fuzzy inside. "I want to see you sometime this week. Maybe you could come over for dinner tomorrow. It's a school night, but I promise to have you back home before curfew."

He laughs. "I'd love that, actually. I wanted to see you last night but I had a bunch of things to get settled and by the time I was finished, it was too late to call. It's actually taking everything in me not to just get into my car and drive over there right now."

I giggle. "It's like a 10 minute walk, Edward." I pause and wonder for a moment about whether or not this is a good idea. I quickly decide to throw caution to the wind. "That being said, if you leave now, I could see you in a few?"

I leave it hanging as a question and I wonder briefly if that was a little too far. I would love to see him. Touch him. Smell him...

"I'll be right there," he says and before I can even reply and tell him that I'm kidding, he's hung up the phone and all I hear is dead air. I giggle softly and shake my head at his antics, it's really pretty...awesome? Yeah, I think that's the right word for how I feel right now.

And then it hits me that he's actually on his way.

I'm not wearing anything even remotely sexy. My boot-cut jeans and fitted plaid shirt will just have to do. My hair is in a sloppy ponytail and without washing it, there's no way I can tame it.

I pass by the mirror and give my face the once over, making sure I don't look like complete crap. Luckily, the mascara I put on this morning seems to have stayed on my lashes and my cheeks are flush from all the excitement.

I go check on Ellie to make sure she's okay with this if she's even still awake. To my surprise, she's passed out cold under her covers, hugging the Winnie the Pooh teddy bear she's had since she was two.

Thankful that I don't need to have this discussion with her right now, I close her bedroom door and make my way back downstairs just in time to hear a soft knock on the door.

I'm grateful that he's so considerate. He knows I have a daughter that's most likely sleeping. One more reason why I feel the way I do about him. Which is something I'm not quite ready to admit to anyone. Not even myself.

It's only been a few days, this is all new and it'll wear off at some point, I tell myself.

"Hey," he says as soon as I open the door.

Damn, the sight of him renders me speechless once again. He always does this to me and it's unexplainable. No man has ever had this effect on me.

This must be what he wears to school. He's wearing these black slacks, his light blue button down is untucked and a little rumpled and his sleeves are rolled up, exposing his nicely defined forearms.

Jesus help me, I may not make it.

I push away the thought of what I'd like to do to him and just smile, inviting him in.

"Hey." I smile and lick my lips. With any luck I'll get to kiss him.

I close the door and we stand awkwardly facing each other in my entryway. We're staring at each other one minute, and the next, I find myself pinned against the wall by the door with Edward's mouth on mine.

It doesn't take me long to realize what he's doing and I melt into his arms and let myself enjoy this.

I can feel him hard against my hip and I like the effect I have on him. It's empowering and all consuming.

Edward's hands are on my lower back and his fingers are digging into my flesh while his tongue explores my mouth. The taste of him makes me dizzy and I forget where we are and just let my instincts take over.

I thread my hands behind his neck and keep him close to me while we're kissing. I won't let him back away until I'm completely out of breath. Oxygen is overrated.

My body is warm and flushed from head to toe and I can feel how wet I am just from kissing him. I squirm and shift my hips, trying to get some relief but I just end up riling myself up even more.

Edward's hands shift lower, lower, lower until he's cupping my butt. I don't protest, instead, I encourage him by bringing my leg up and practically humping his thigh.

He moans and I whimper. When he trails kisses down my jaw and neck, I use leverage and spread my legs wider. It's all the encouragement he needs to pick me up and hold me with my back against the wall and my ankles crossed behind his back.

And then, he's right there.

My warmth on his hardness. Anchored to him, I look into his eyes. It's like the world just stops for a second as we both realize what we're doing. But without a single word, I rotate my hips and feel him against me. My breathing falters and I let out a soft whimper. Edward examines my face, his eyes searching for something, and just when I think he's going to end this and put me down, he doesn't. Instead he captures my mouth with his and kisses me while pushing his hips harder between my thighs.

I like this new feeling of being wanted. I've never felt so much passion in my life.

He really wants me.

I don't need any more convincing. No more self doubt.

With a certain confidence I'd never known I'd have, and with some knowledge acquired from reading shit tons of smut, I give myself into the pleasure of having him here with me.

We kiss and kiss. He whispers soft words of want and need in my ear and nibbles at my flesh. Before long, my body explodes in pleasure and he holds me and kisses me while I come down from my high.

I lean my forehead against his shoulder and hold it there for a few minutes to get my bearings.

I'm a little embarrassed, but not for long. I want to make him feel just as good.

I smile and finally speak. "Thank you."

I'm not sure if it's what I should say, but I mean it.

He's a little breathless and still hard against me. "You're welcome?" His eyes twinkle and he's giving me that lopsided grin, like he's all proud of something.

And he should be, that was awesome.

"I'm sorry, I have nothing better to say to that." I shrug. Edward shifts and I shift a little too. "Am I getting heavy?" I let out a giggle but then he groans and I clue in that yeah, he's still stiff and either needs a cold shower or maybe I can just summon my inner sex kitten and give him the release he so obviously needs.

Before I can even make a move to either get on my knees before him or make my hands do...something, the phone rings.

I frown. "Who could it be at this time?" I look at the clock and it's almost 10 p.m., nobody ever calls past 9, everyone I know knows I go to bed early. Or at least I used to.

Edward kisses my forehead and helps me get down from my perch.

My thigh muscles are a little stiff, but otherwise, I'm fine. I shake myself off and get to the phone before it wakes up Ellie.

I'm surprised when I see the number, it's my mom's cell phone. This can't be good.

* * *

**Cliffie?**

**Thank you guys for reading and reviewing and loving this little story. **

**I'll be posting this thing on my bog (CullensTwiMistress . blogspot . com) cause I have a feeling it'll disappear...**

**xox**

**Missy**


	10. Chapter 10

**SM owns everything Twilighty... Just making that clear, lol.**

* * *

10.

Dad had a heart attack.

We're in the hospital and Edward and Ellie are by my side.

It's an unpleasant way to meet my family, yet I'm grateful he's here.

Ellie is a little bewildered. She had no idea he'd be coming over so imagine her surprise when I wake her up to tell her about Charlie, and she ends up also seeing Edward in our house.

I wanted her to stay home, but she refused, wanting to be here by my side if anything happened. She's not stupid. Young, yes, stupid, definitely not. She loves her grandfather more than anything and knowing what may happen to him makes her cling to me like second skin. She followed me downstairs and just gave Edward a quizzical look without uttering a single word as she followed us out the door to Edward's car.

I'm in shock as I try to process this all.

A heart attack? He hadn't been sick, maybe a cold here and there, but nothing major.

Silent tears stream down my cheeks and I can't seem to stop them.

Moments ago, I was so happy. Giddy, even. That feeling you get when everything is just...right. Edward and I, in my house just going with instinct and pure lust; hands roaming and hearts beating frantically. I should have known it was all too good to be true.

And now, it's all a wash. All those emotions have been replaced with some sort of disastrous mess that I don't know how to cope with.

Edward sits quietly and keeps Ellie and Alice busy while Rose and I try to talk to doctors and nurses about dad's condition. They aren't quite sure what to tell us other that he's holding on. For now.

Mom is in the room with him, but we aren't allowed to go in there more than one person at a time.

I feel sick. There I was at home in my own little world, dry humping my not-quite-maybe boyfriend and my father may be dying.

I look at Edward and I don't know about anything anymore.

He offers me a soft smile, and then goes back to his card game. I think Alice is winning. I'm not sure. He's so good with them. He's so good. Too good, even. I see it in his eyes, the concern he shows for someone he barely knows. It's overwhelming.

I'm torn. More tears run down my cheeks and Rose rubs my back soothingly. We're all upset about dad, but I can't help but feel like I've been so selfish lately.

"He'll be okay, Bella," Rose says softly. Emmett wraps his arms around her and I watch them lean into each other for support.

I look over at Edward again and as much as I want what Rose and Emmett have, I'm not sure I can let myself have that. I'm conflicted. All my emotions coming at once; bubbling to the surface and threatening to boil over. I don't like it.

I've never felt this way. Not even when I was going through hell with Alec, I just dealt with it and moved on.

Which shows how much I truly loved him.

This is different. This makes me realize I feel more for Edward than I should in such a small period of time. This scares me shitless.

I meet Rose's tired eyes and sigh. "I hope so, but it's all too much, you know?"

"I know." She nods then leans over closer to me. "This may not be the right time or place," she whispers, "but your Edward is really hot."

I see Emmett roll his eyes, but her comment lightens the mood a little bit and I'm able to crack a small smile.

I'm tired, it's late and I think I've cried enough tonight to warrant a good night's sleep. I'll probably end up calling in sick tomorrow.

Mom comes back after speaking to one of the doctors and tells us that dad's doing a little better. He needs his rest and there is no use for us to be there. She wants us to go home. There's really nothing we can actually do for him and we need our rest.

She insists on staying at the hospital and says she'll call us with news as soon as the doctors tell her anything.

My mom is so strong. I look up to her for strength in a situation like this. Instead of breaking down, she gathered herself, stood up and took matters into her own hands.

I know she's hurting, I can see it in her eyes as she hugs me and whispers that Edward is a gentleman for coming here with me. She even slips in that he's very handsome. She wipes the tears from my eyes and tells me everything is going to be okay; that things like this happen in life and that we need to accept it.

I don't know how she does it. I know she loves my father more than anything, yet she's able to stay so calm and focused while I'm a mess over the whole thing.

Edward and Ellie join us and mom hugs Ellie and tells her not to worry, that dad is a strong man and that he'll be okay. Ellie takes it in stride but I know she's worried. She hasn't cried though, so I guess that's a good thing under these circumstances. I'm not sure how I would have handled that if she'd broken down too.

I sniffle and smile and kiss mom's cheek before joining Edward and Ellie by the elevator.

Tonight wasn't a night for grand meetings, but since the girls already knew him, he was actually very helpful in looking after them and distracting them while Rose and I tried to be there for mom even if she didn't seem to need us.

As much as I hate to admit it, having Edward there isn't so bad. I feel torn and helpless and I don't know how to deal with these new emotions.

I'm quiet on the way home. Probably quieter than I've even been around Edward. He doesn't say much either, and I guess there's not much he can say. Nothing is going to make this situation any better, unless my father pulls though without any more complications, but reality is a cruel bitch at times.

Ellie hasn't asked any questions and I suppose I have Edward to thank for that. I heard him speaking to the girls earlier. They were worried about their grandfather, but he kept calm and spoke to them in a way that soothed their worries without being condescending. He is a born teacher; I bet all the kids adore him. Even the delinquents.

"Thank you, Edward," I tell him when we round the street to my house.

"It's no problem, really." He keeps his eyes trained on the road and when we get to the house I tell Ellie to go inside and wait for me.

When she's safely inside the house, I turn in my seat and look at Edward. He keeps his eyes on me and I can tell he's very worried. The crease in his forehead is deep and my fingers twitch, I want to sooth it to make it go away. I want all of this to go away and just start over and be in his arms again.

"I'm sorry about all this." I bow my head and look at my lap. "I know tonight didn't turn out the way it was meant to."

I hope he understands. I know he does. I just need the words to be out there.

He finally mirrors my position in the car and takes my hands in his. "I know this is hard. I can't imagine if that was my dad..." he shakes his head and a grim look passes over his features. "I'm here, okay. I'll be here for you, Bella. Will you let me?"

The treacherous tears roll down my cheeks in earnest. I know what he's asking. He wants me to let him in fully. I'd been keeping part of myself off, opening up to him only in certain ways. Letting him see bits and pieces but not the whole me.

The whole me is what is scary.

The whole me is what made me wait off before I called him.

The whole me, is this insecure single mom with self image issues and a past that leaves me feeling like it's hard to believe that anyone would even want her.

Me. Me. Me.

I haven't done anything for myself in so long, it feels bad to even think it.

But I need this. I want this. With him.

For me.

"I'll try." I squeeze his hands and sniffle. I lean forward and press my forehead to his chest, I need the closeness. A hug. Warmth. Comfort. I need it, crave it and miss it so, so much, it hurts.

This is what I've missed about being with someone.

Watching Emmett comfort Rose made my heart hurt.

Having Edward's arms surround me and holding me while I sob into his chest and let it all out feels amazing. Part of me wants to run upstairs and crawl into bed and sob until I fall asleep, but then that wouldn't lead me anywhere. This is what I need, his soothing words of "it'll be okay, Bella" and "I'm here for you, sweetheart" make my heart swell.

I can't stay out here all night and I have to go inside and see if Ellie is okay, but I also don't want to leave Edward's arms. "I have to go check on Ellie." I have to be a mother first and see if she's okay.

"Do you want me to stay?" His eyes search my face. I must look like shit. My eyes feel all puffy and they're probably red. I haven't cried this much...ever. Not even when I found Alec in bed with another woman.

"You have to work tomorrow. I'll be okay," I tell him and take a deep breath. I want him to stay. I do, but I won't tell him that.

"Bella, please," he pleads. I close my eyes. He already reads me like an open book. The thought scares me.

"I'll be fine. I'll call you tomorrow or you call me. I'll call in sick and check on dad. Mr. Newton will probably know about him being in the hospital before I even tell him." I shake my head and chuckle humorlessly. "Small town life and all," I add.

He presses a sweet kiss to my cheek, his breath fanning over my face and making me lightheaded as he whispers, "I'm here for you, Bella."

With a final nod I exit his car and run up to the house.

Thankfully, Ellie is in bed and asleep already.

So much to process in so little time, but the moment my head hits the pillow, I'm out like a light.

* * *

**Don't hate me...**

**Boobie gropes and squishy hugs to each and veryone of you! :o)**


	11. Chapter 11

**SM owns everything Twilight.**

* * *

11.

A week and a half passes by and things start to settle down again.

Dad is okay. Well, as okay as one can possibly get in only a week after having a heart attack. They said it was very mild and that with proper diet, medication and exercise, he should be just fine.

He was lucky there won't be too many repercussions, but he did manage to scare us half to death.

I haven't seen Edward since that night. It's not his fault, it's all mine.

I don't know what to do with all these different emotions swimming around in my head. I told him as much, and he seemed to understand. He told me he'd be there when I was ready.

I'm just not sure when that's going to be.

I don't know what to do. I know my parents won't live forever. Deep down, we all know this, but facing the harsh reality of it actually happening is unnerving. I feel like someone's pulled the rug from under me. Again. Like my sense of security, my normal, is being taken from me. I don't know how to deal with that. I just want things to go back to the way they were. Sunday dinners. Quiet little life. Uneventful. Normal. Peaceful. Routine.

None of those things involve Edward, and it's like it was all too much too soon. Too many changes all at once. Apparently, I don't deal well with change at all.

Ellie chastises me about my mopey attitude, and the fact that whatever make-over Rose had inflicted upon me is completely gone.

I've reverted back to my old habits. It feels weird. My skin prickles, and not in a good way.

I'm cheating myself out of something I want, and I know I shouldn't.

Ellie comes home from school and every day, she makes sure to tell me about Edward. Some days, he smiles more, others he's sad. She says he asks her about me.

I hate that she's in the middle, yet I can't find it in me to tell her to stop.

I also can't find it in me to just call him and give in.

I missed his parents' visit. I feel bad about that, I can't imagine how Edward must feel. I let him down.

I don't know where to begin to ask for forgiveness about that.

Mom tells me I should just call him. That I'm being ridiculous. That being with Edward has nothing to do with dad's illness and that I should live my life, and stop the self flagellating before it's too late and I'm an old maid living alone with twenty cats.

I don't like cats enough to have twenty of them, but I digress.

It's Saturday, Ellie is spending the night with Alice at Rose's house and I'm alone.

The irony in that statement isn't lost on me. I don't have to be alone, but I chose it because I'm too damn stubborn to admit to myself that I don't have to be.

My lemon to lemonade theory goes out the window, and I embrace the pint of Ben and Jerry's, my biggest, most comfortable sweater and my DVD copy of Titanic.

I want to be comfortably numb and crying when I fall asleep. If it weren't for the impending hangover, I'd just get wasted. But then, if I did that, I'd end up drunk dialing someone, and that someone would probably show up at my door and give me fuck hawt orgasms, and I can't have that.

Thinking of that night, or the beginning of it at least, makes me squirm and makes my skin flush. Jack has nothing on Edward. Not. One. Thing.

The ice cream is good, but by the end of the movie I'm not crying. I'm frustrated, and yelling at Rose to move her fat ass over and let jack onto the damn door. It's a sad, sad sight, and I'm kinda happy to be alone.

The door bell shakes me out of hatred of all things water and ice. Looking at the clock, it's only ten past ten. I idly wonder who it is, but part of me hopes he's tall and beautiful, and here to feel me up.

I don't even check myself in the mirror, I also don't bother with the peep hole. I've clearly lost all my marbles, especially since I probably have chocolate sauce on my lips, and I'm not sure I've used a brush since yesterday.

"Rose? What are you doing here?" Isn't she supposed to be keeping an eye on our teenage daughters? I don't tell her that, of course. Instead I just open the door wider and let her walk in.

"Bella, you look like shit. What the hell is going on with you?"

I roll my eyes as she stands there in all her manicured beauty and perfect body. She was upset about dad, but it doesn't show. She just moves on like nothing happened; like we didn't come close to losing our father. "I'm fine, Rose." Denial. Denial. Denial.

She walks past me, and takes a seat in the living room. At least I've kept up the house and the job. The only thing I let go of was myself.

"You're not fine, Bella. Ellie says you've been moping around this place since dad was in the hospital. Did Edward break up with you?"

I snort and shake my head. "To break up with me, we would have had to have been a "we" to begin with. I just can't do all of this crap. I feel like I'm not good enough to be there for him like he wants to be there for me, ya know? Does that make sense?"

All my snark and aggravation leak out, and my shoulders slump of their own accord. Saying it out loud to someone is a powerful thing. I furrow my brow and play with the hem of my sweater. It's old and tattered, but I've had it since high school and it's so damn comfortable.

"Bella, don't do this. You looked so happy. He seems so nice. Not too many guys would go with you to the hospital like he did."

"I know. That's the problem. He's so amazing, caring...nice. It's like he can't be real. I just don't want to have the rug pulled from under me again, ya know?"

She searches my face for a few minutes. "I'm sure he's not perfect, Bella. Hey, maybe he's bad in bed? Maybe he's got a small teeny-weeny." She chuckles to lighten the mood, but my face heats up, and I can't help the smile that graces my lips and the memories that invade my senses.

"I don't think his...teeny-weeny is an issue," I murmur. I look away, waiting for her response to that.

"You slut!" She giggles. "You slept with him?"

I shake my head. "Oh god no, we just fooled around a little." I am so not in the mood for this conversation, but it's nice to just relax and talk to my sister like this.

"Well, whatever his issues are, Bella, I'm sure he's not perfect. Nobody is. I could give you a list of things that Emmett does that aggravate the living shit out of me, but I overlook them on most days because I love him. He does the same. Nobody's perfect, Bella. You just need to let yourself be loved."

Her words touch me in a way that makes complete sense. Mom used to bitch about dad, and dad did the same, yet they've always shown how much they love each other.

Edward isn't perfect, sometimes, being too nice is aggravating. Opening my car door, for one thing. I thought that was annoying. There are probably a whole slew of things that would end up getting on my nerves. But I can't let those things deter me from who he is, if he treats me well and loves me for who I am.

Loves me for who I am.

That thought alone makes the little voices in my head stop in their tracks. Could he love me? I mean, he does like me, and it's only been a few weeks. But it is possible to fall in love with someone within that short amount of time.

Whatever I do feel for him is more than what I thought I felt for Alec, and I thought I loved him enough to want to marry him and have his child.

My mind reels with all the possibilities when I notice Rose just staring at me, smirking.

I snap out of it and come back to the present. "Shit. I think I love him, Rose."

"Yeah, well take a shower and go tell him that." she looks at me pointedly and stands. "I gotta go make sure our girls haven't hit the hard liquor. Emmett is there, but he's watching the game. Don't even ask me which game, I have no idea."

I hug her and tell her I'll try. And I mean it. Change is hard and demanding. I don't deal well with it, but I'll have to deal with it if I want more than what I currently have.

And deep down, I do want it.

If anything, these past few days have only solidified the fact that meeting Edward was a good thing. And if things with my father take a turn toward the worst, I'll need someone to stand by me and be there for me. I want that someone to be him.

I run upstairs and take a quick shower. I brush out my hair and make a sloppy pony tail, and then I'm out the door wearing jeans, a hoody and a smile.

I knock on Edward's door and hope that he's actually still up. It's almost midnight on a Saturday night and there's a light flickering in the living room bay window. Someone's home.

As expected, he is sex on stilts at the door. I give him a weak smile and he invites me in.

He looks like...well fuck me, even like this he looks like a GQ model. His hair is a mess, worse than usual, there's a few days worth of stubble on his sharp jaw, and his clothes are rumpled. I'd still do him.

"How are you holding up?" he asks, his eyes full of concern.

I snort. "I'm great. You?"

He sighs and looks almost forlorn or aggravated. I'm not sure which emotion it is, but there's definitely something there and I feel like shit for making things between us difficult when they didn't have to be.

I don't like what I've done. I don't like that I've pushed him away when he clearly wanted me to let him in and I need to fix it. I want to fix it.

I close the distance between us in a few steps and wrap my arms around him. I press my cheek into his chest and inhale him in. I missed his scent so much, he's intoxicating and addicting.

When he relaxes against me, wraps his arms around my back and gives me a light squeeze, I know we'll be okay.

* * *

**Okay, so I have some news. I have friends that are visiting alllll the way from Colorado for the next week or so, this means that I won't be able to update/write on a regular basis. I will try my best to get at least a chapter out next week, I do hope it's more than that though!**

**Anyways, leave me some love... I like to hear what y'all think!**

**xox**

**Missy**


	12. Chapter 12

**SM owns everything Twilight.**

* * *

12.

"I'm sorry," I say, burying my face deeper into Edward's chest.

I can feel him taking deep breaths and his heartbeat thumps quickly in his chest as I hold onto him for dear life.

"I'm so sorry I wasn't ready. But I am now. I swear, I'm ready now," I continue while he squeezes me impossibly tighter in his arms.

"I know it's not easy, Bella. I think we need to talk."

I immediately stiffen; my body reacting to his words, fearing the worse. "Okay."

I let him pull me into the living room and we sit next to each other, our thighs touching, and my hand clasped tightly in his.

"I like you," he starts, "but you can't shut me out like that. Bella, I need to know that you're in this as much as I am. I can't go through this again. I'm sorry, but...I just can't." He sounds almost resigned yet hopeful as he speaks. His voice is low, the sound breaks my heart. I don't want to be that girl who makes him feel like that.

I swallow the lump forming in my throat. "I'm sorry, Edward. My dad...getting sick like that...it just flipped a switch in me. It felt like I couldn't breathe. I panicked and just...I don't deserve you."

As soon as the words leave my mouth, I feel the treacherous tears run down my cheeks.

Edward leans down and swipes his thumb over my cheek, wiping away the tears. "Bella, please stop saying that. Do you realize I've been through the same thing? My wife wasn't sleeping with everyone in the neighborhood, she was just sleeping with her best friend. I don't know if you knew this, but the male ego is a pretty fragile thing. When your wife prefers pussy to her husband's...package, it leaves one to question his own...package." He chuckles humorlessly. "It took a lot of therapy to get me where I am today, Bella."

I've never seen this side of him. He's insecure and sad. I don't like that I've brought this out of him. I don't like that I've done this to him.

Taking it from his point of view, it must have sucked to know that your wife, the one person who you've been with, prefers to be with other women. There's nothing wrong with being gay, but to string him along like that was very wrong. She deceived him right from the beginning. She took advantage of his insecurities. He thought she loved him while he was basically just her beard. I guess that is a very big blow to a guy's ego.

What Alec did to me was wrong, and the more I think about it, the more I feel like I was such a doormat to just stand around and be his friend. But then there were no other choices since we had Ellie and being bitter and spiteful would have been pointless. Still, it sort of pulls at me that during the entire process, as broken up as I was, I was never really that upset.

I think I'm more upset for Edward now that I've had a few minutes to actually process it. I never want to meet this ex-wife of his. But then, I may have to thank her for letting him go.

"You deserve so much better than me," I murmur, looking into his eyes; searching for...something.

"But I want you, Bella. You deserve happiness and I hope to be there and help make that happen for you. You may think I deserve better, but so do you. I'm not perfect. I leave my socks on the floor by my bed, I hate brushing my hair, I leave the cap off of the toothpaste all the time, and I'm pretty sure the collectible Star Wars figurines in my office would bug the crap out of you if you knew how much money they cost." He brings my hand to his lips and kisses my palm tenderly. "But none of that matters in the long run if we truly care about each other."

I sigh and let his words wash over me. This reminds me of what Rose was saying earlier. "Rose wanted to shake me for letting you go. She thinks I'm being stupid."

He chuckles. "I'd have to agree with her."

"I'm just not used to having what I want," I tell him.

"If you want me, you can have me, Bella." He meets my eyes and what I see there is so much compassion and some other emotion we're not ready to say out loud yet. "All of me," he whispers and kisses me softly.

I kiss him back, letting myself relax against him. I hadn't realized how much I'd missed his kisses. "I want you too, Edward. You have no idea..." I let my words fade and bring my lips to his, trying to tell him with my body how much I want him.

I straddle his lap and this time, I don't guard myself. There isn't a bone in my body that doesn't want to let him in. Pun intended. I need to show him that he doesn't have to worry about stupid, blind... stupid, stupid ex-wives. I can't believe she would do that to him. I can't understand how anyone would do that.

"That feels so good, Edward." His lips on my neck are doing magical things to my skin. I can feel it all the way down to my dripping core. I'm aching and god I want him. I really do. I'm ready for this step, not just because I want to prove to him that I want him, but because I want it for myself.

I want _him_ for myself. His heart, body and soul. The whole thing. Dirty socks and all.

"Bella, promise you won't do that again," he says against my skin while his hands make their way down my back, to the curve of my ass.

"I don't think I ever could. I don't ever want to hurt you, Edward. Never again." I pull back, meeting his eyes. "I don't want to be the person that makes you feel like you don't matter. I hate that I did that. I'm so sorry."

"But you came back, Bella. That's a huge step." He kisses me and runs his hands over my backside, squeezing me as I grind myself into his growing erection.

"I'm not perfect either, you know. I've had a kid, I'm old and -"

Edward's mouth crashed into mine before I can even finish the sentence.

When he pulls back, he says, "I don't care. I don't care that you're not twenty anymore. I don't care that you're older. I fell in love with a shy girl with pretty eyes and a beautiful smile. I could see the vixen hiding behind those glasses before you even stepped out of that house wearing that damn skirt. Do you know how many times I've jerked off to the thought of you in those glasses and that damn skirt and nothing else?" I smile, and the thought makes me blush. "Too many times, Bella. Your ex-husband was an idiot."

I chuckle. "And your ex-wife must've really liked other women, either that or she's blind as a bat." I squirm against him slightly. I can feel how worked up he is and dammit, I want him so, so much. "Ellie is sleeping at Rose's," I continue quietly, nervously hoping he gets my drift. I'm not sure if he's ready for this step. It's late and maybe the timing is wrong but I really want to share this part of myself with him.

If not tonight, soon.

"She is?" he asks with a crooked grin on his full, kissable lips, and hooded eyes.

I nod. "She won't even know I'm not home."

"Is that so, now?" he says huskily before capturing my mouth in a toe curling kiss.

I smile against his lips and pull away. "How 'bout we unwrap that package you mentioned earlier?"

I should be mortified, but what he said about his ex just resonates in my head and...yeah, I can't help it. I also can't help the giggle fit I'm having with my face buried in his neck and my arms holding him tightly. This is us, word-vomit and all. I've missed this freedom to be myself that I've had with him.

"Bella, are you sure? I mean, this isn't because you feel like you have something to prove to me, is it?" he asks, searching my face for any sign that I'm either lying or uncomfortable. He knows me so well already.

I shake my head. "I don't have anything to prove to you. I...I've fallen for this man, and I don't want to push him away anymore. I want you in every way, Edward. Please, show me you want me too."

He kisses me slowly; languidly, igniting every cell in my body with so much desire, I feel like I'm on fire. My head spins and my skin tingles everywhere from this one kiss.

He latches his lips to my throat, nipping and flattening his tongue over the sting. It's like too much and not enough. My pussy pulsates, needing to be touched, fondled...unf, oh god, his mouth... "Take me upstairs, baby," I rasp between pants and moans.

I bring my hand into his and twine my fingers with his, I then gather every ounce of will power I possess and get off of his lap. He looks up at me, eyes hooded and dark, the sight makes my panties unbelievably wet. My body definitely knows what it wants.

"Come on. Don't make me beg again," I tell him with a smirk. This feels so much like last time, only the way his lips turn up in a lazy grin tells me he's playing this game with me and he's totally into it.

He stands and wraps his arms around me. "I love it when you beg, sweetheart," he purrs into my ear, making me whimper.

I'm so gone, there's no coming back. "Oh god, Edward." I close my eyes and lean into him.

"Let's go." He kisses my forehead, nose and lips while guiding me toward the stairs.

We climb the stairs at a steady pace. Edward's behind me, guiding me with his hands on my hips.

When we get to his room, it dawns on me that I'm wearing the unsexiest thing I possibly own and he's still here with me. Actually he's standing behind me, kissing my neck, and his erection is poking me in the back. Lingerie is so overrated.

I stand still for a few minutes just basking in what we're about to do. Nerves and rearing their ugly head and I need to calm them before I freak out. I take a steady breath and look around. The room is dark, but I can still make out the furnishings and bedding with the soft glow of the moon shining through the windows.

"Are you okay, Bella? We don't need to do anything tonight. We can just lay down, cuddle, sleep...see what happens." Edward soothes his hands over my arms, rubbing them up and down in a comforting manner.

I take a deep breath and ponder this for only half a second and smile because I finally get what I really want.

* * *

**Say it, I'm an evil cockblocking bitch for leaving it there, but oh well...**

**So I was able to write at work and I woke up early this morning and got a bunch of words down. This is a good thing. I've got chapter 13 written also, and trust me, that one is the one you want! :o)**

**Thank you so much to each one of you for sticking with me!**

**xox**

**Missy**


	13. Chapter 13

**I should tease you with a long ass author's note but I'm not sure any of you are even reading this given that you've all been waiting patiently for these two to get to it...**

**Just so you know, posting lemons makes me nervous as hell...**

**So yeah, warning... skip this chapter if sexual content makes you gag. **

**I own nothing.**

* * *

_"Are you okay, Bella? We don't need to do anything tonight. We can just lay down, cuddle, sleep...see what happens." Edward soothes his hands over my arms, rubbing them up and down in a comforting manner._

_I take a deep breath and ponder this for only half a second and smile because I finally get what I really want._

13.

Edward rubs his hands up and down on my arms, comforting me. He's sweet and thoughtful, and I know I'm doing the right thing.

I shake my head and turn in his arms. "No, I just...I just needed a moment. Thank you," I say and get up on my toes to kiss him. "Thank you for being you. Thank you, Edward." There are so many more words that could be said for what he is to me, but all I can come up with is thank you.

When he smiles and presses his forehead to mine, I know he gets it. "You're welcome, but I should be the one thanking you for letting me in."

Oh the innuendo...

I. Will. Not. Giggle.

I kiss him and kiss him until we're both panting and our hands are acting of their own volition.

He slowly pulls my sweater off and I close my eyes as the cool night air hits my skin. I wasn't wearing anything underneath and the sudden exposure makes me a little shaky.

Edward groans and brings his hands to my tits, fondling and squeezing them while his mouth leaves blazing kisses on my throat and collarbones.

I run my nails up his back, under his shirt, making him shiver and shake. At this point, we're so far gone, no amount of "just cuddling" will be possible. At least not tonight.

I back up until the back of my legs hit the bed and sit on the edge. Edward follows me and kneels before me, bringing himself eye-to-tit level, which he takes full advantage of with his tongue and mouth. My nipples have never felt so lavished.

I make embarrassing porn-star noises and pull off his shirt. Flattening my palms over his pecks, I make sure to memorize every dip and bulge of his refined chest.

Feeling brave and entirely too horny and far gone for my own good, I follow the spattering of hair down his chest, pass his bellybutton and make quick work of unbuttoning his pants.

Edward finally pulls away from my boobs and looks up into my eyes while his fingers light a trail up my back all the way to my shoulders where he gently nudges me while he stands. "Lay down, Bella."

With my legs still hanging off the side of the bed, I lay on my back and watch, mesmerized as he lets his jeans pool to the ground.

Keeping eye contact with me, Edward kneels on the ground between my knees and hooks his fingers on either side of my pants. "Is this okay?" he asks and I have no words, I can only nod and lift my butt off the bed as I watch him take off my pants and underwear. "You're so fucking beautiful, Bella."

"Thank you," I squeak, feeling shy and very exposed under his gaze.

But that feeling goes away quickly as he spreads my thighs and kisses the inside of my knee. I lean on my elbows and watch as he kisses the inside on my left thigh, then the other. Spreading me wider before him, he finally kisses my pubic bone, making me whimper. He's so close, his breath fans over my exposed pussy with every exhale and I need, need, need so damn much, I feel like I'm going to explode if he doesn't touch me.

Finally, with his eyes on mine, he takes one long lick, flattening his tongue from my entrance to my clit; warm and wet with just enough pressure, I fall onto my back and buck against his mouth. "My god, please...Edward." Once again, I'm begging for his touch.

I feel his lips curl up into a smile only a moment before his tongue swirls and flicks at my oversensitive nub.

With his hands against my inner thighs keeping me from closing them up around his head, Edward laps at my pussy like he's starving and this is his last meal. His grunts and my moans echo off of the bedroom walls, and I can't even find it in me to care one bit.

I'm climbing and climbing and climbing, my orgasm just out of reach. It all feels so good, I don't ever want him to stop. I'm pretty sure I tell him so, spurring him on in his ministrations. I bring my hands to my tits, teasing my nipples as his mouth brings me higher and higher.

And just when I think I'll never get there, I do. I fall and fall and fall, shuddering and singing praises to god and fuck and Edward.

My hands gripping the bedding on either side of me, and Edward trailing wet kisses on my inner thigh bring me down slowly from the incredible orgasm I've just experienced. I'm pretty sure it's the most powerful one I've ever had. "Thank you," I sigh, steadying my breathing.

Edward stands and I watch him stroke himself. The sight brings with it a whole new level of arousal. I slowly sit up, and take his cock in my hand. Looking up at him, I lick the tip and swirl my tongue around the head.

"Oh god, Bella. I can't...I can't, baby." His head shakes from side to side and I watch his Adams apple bob up and down as his head falls back. With clenched teeth he says, "Bella, I need to be inside you. This won't take long, baby...please." And now he's the one begging. It makes me feel all sorts of brave and excites me even further.

I take him into my mouth as far as I can, and swirl my tongue around him before pulling off of him while hollowing out my cheeks. I want him inside me so there's no way I'm going to risk him coming in my mouth. I have no idea what his recovery time is like and tonight isn't the night to test out that theory.

Looking up at his half hooded eyes and pained expression, I can tell it was about time I let him go. "Sorry, I just... wanted to reciprocate." I shrug and grin slyly.

He cups my face and rubs my bottom lip with his thumb. "Don't ever apologize for doing that," he says grinning and panting.

I scoot back on the bed, inviting him to follow. He doesn't disappoint and crawls, kneeling between my parted thighs.

We kiss and kiss and kiss while his fingers linger slowly down my belly, grazing my sensitive clit, and finally I feel him teasing my entrance and gathering some wetness before he plunges two fingers into my soaking wet pussy. "So ready for me, baby," he grunts as he fingers me slowly, making me squirm and buck against his fingers.

He's hard as he grinds himself against my inner thigh.

So close, so, so close, and I want him so much. "Please, Edward," I pant and take his cock in my hand, fumbling a little as I try and position it near my entrance where his fingers are still torturing me.

He gathers some wetness and strokes himself.

We're awkwardly both trying to make this quick but it's not and I start giggling because it's all too much and not enough. "God, I want you," he says as he positions himself right there with the head of his throbbing cock just teasing me, barely inside but not quite.

Just one push. One thrust. One sneeze is all it would take.

And I want it. More than I've ever wanted anything in my life.

In this moment, all I want is to be filled by him completely. I want us joined and moving together.

I don't care if it's fast and I don't even care if I don't climax. I just want us like this so much it fucking hurts.

"Are you sure about this, Bella?" he asks and kisses my chin and jaw.

"I've never been more sure of anything else in my entire life." And with those words, he fills me completely.

I moan and he stills. The intrusion after so many years of abstinence and self-love is almost too much. It's an ache, but such a good ache and I need him to move.

"Oh god, Bella. I swear, it'll take longer next time," he says as he starts moving inside me. I meet him thrust for thrust, digging my nails into his back and arching into him as his mouth latches onto my breasts.

"Oh god..." I'm close so close, and he's frantic and sweaty, and we're both on the edge, I just know it.

I screw my eyes shut, just feeling everything as I bring my fingers close to where we're joined and start rubbing myself. I need it so badly and I'm climbing so fast.

"Holy shit, are you...you're touching yourself..." Edward moans and grunts as I clench my teeth and just keep going because there's no way I'm stopping, and he's not stopping me so I guess I'm not freaking him out with the self-love.

And after a few moments, he stills and I feel him pulsing inside me, and I fall into that undeniable pool of bliss following right behind him.

I rub my hands along the plane of his back, as his breath fawns over the skin in the crook of my neck.

I'm blissed out and completely sated as Edward's softened cock slips from its home inside my pussy, and I sigh because I love having it there so much.

"Are you okay, Bella?" he asks and I can't help but giggle.

"Are you serious right now?" I finger his hair gently and try to make him look at me.

We're both sweaty and sticky, and I could care less.

"I just...it was quick...ehm, it's been a long time." And it clicks that he's having some sort of post-performance anxiety.

"Edward, you made me come. Twice. In one evening. I'm pretty sure it's a record." I feel him smile against my neck and he finally rolls off of me, bringing me with him so that my head is lying on his chest.

"Yeah...I just...wow." I look up and he's staring at me; his fingers playing with my hair.

I smile and kiss his chest. "You can say that again." I run my fingers through the hair on his abdomen and sigh. "I need to go clean up. Be right back."

I swiftly get up and make my way to the bathroom. I'm grateful for the feel of warm water against my skin, cleaning up the remnants of our activities before it runs any further down my inner thigh.

I clean myself up quickly and run a brush through my unruly freshly-fucked hair before making it back to the warm bed where Edward is waiting for me.

He smiles, lifting the comforter, and inviting me into his warm cocoon. "That was quick," he says as I nuzzle my way into his arms.

"Yeah, well, I was naked and cold," I reply, smiling.

"I kind of like the naked part," he says, yawning. I look at the alarm clock on the nightstand by the bed and notice that it's already 2 a.m.

"I like being naked with you." Relaxing against him, I fall asleep, blissful and happy for the first time in a long time.

* * *

**Yeah... I'm just gonna go into hiding now...**

**Love me?**

**bwahahaha...**

**xox**

**Missy**


	14. Chapter 14

**SM owns everything Twilight.**

* * *

14.

Morning brings with it some anxiety over the fact that we finally crossed that line. I will never be able to look at Edward in the same way again.

He sighs as he sleeps next to me and all I can think of is how his mouth, fingers and... other appendage felt as they worked my body to ecstasy. The feeling is all new to me as nothing like that ever happened before. Alec was, for lack of a better term, proficient. He got me there, but as soon as he did, it was all about him. Like he was done giving me pleasure and it was his turn. But Edward had proven to me that it wasn't always the case; that he liked to see me fall apart.

I can't imagine going back to how it was before.

And right now, my entire body is buzzing for a repeat of last night.

And I'm pretty happy that I'd kept my birth control pills refilled all this time.

And those damn stories that I read keep popping up in my head and I'm finally able to make light of a good lemon.

Trusting that we're both clean and truthful with each other means no barriers, no latex and nothing to hinder our new endeavors.

A smile creeps up his face as his hand makes its way across the bed and onto my belly. "I know you're awake, you know?"

I say as a giggle escapes my lips and I turn and scoot over closer to him.

"Yeah, well it's not often that I have a warm body lying next to me in my bed," he says, nuzzling his face into my hair.

We're quiet for a few minutes, just in the moment and enjoying the warmth of our little cocoon when my eyes shoot open. "Shit, I completely forgot about Ellie!"

"What time is she getting back home?" Edward sits up and rubs his hands over his face. As he does so, the blankets slip down when he moves and I pull them back up over my naked chest.

"I'm making Sunday dinner tonight and Rose is coming over to help out. We're supposed to have this girly afternoon before mom and dad come by." I bite my lip and then sigh. "You should come over...if you want. I mean, if you have plans, it's okay...er, this is awkward." I mumble and close my eyes, shaking my head. "That totally did not come out the way it was supposed to."

When I open my eyes and chance a glance at Edward, he's got a goofy grin plastered on his lips. "It's okay," he leans down, his face hovering over mine ."I want to go."

Peering into his deep green irises, I smile and reach up to bring his face closer to mine. "I want you to come."

"You do? That's good, 'cause I want to come too." He shakes his head and wiggles his eyebrows playfully before pressing his lips to mine. "But considering it's already almost noon, are you sure we have time for that?"

I giggle and push him off of me as I sit up. "Yeah, probably not. I'm pretty sure Rose is sitting in my living room with a shit-eating grin on her face as we speak."

We laugh together and everything is just right between us. I'm thankful that he's forgiven me because I don't think I could go back to a life where he isn't part of it, and I'm going to do my damned best to make sure he knows this.

I make sure to tell him repeatedly what time to be at the house and kiss him multiple times before leaving. He smacks my ass as I walk out the door and I giggle during most of the drive home.

As predicted, when I get home, Rose's car is sitting in my driveway.

I'm not worried about Ellie as she has her own key to get in the house, and as far as she knows I could have gone out for coffee.

As soon as I step into the living room though, Rose smirks and wiggles her eyebrows. I'll never live this one down.

I roll my eyes and look around. "So apparently we're doing our nails?"

Ellie and Alice giggle and recount their vampire movie marathon as they apply shiny polish to Rose and my toenails.

I can see Rose is itching to ask questions but she won't do it in front of the girls. I've never been this grateful to have giggling teenage girls around me.

"So you're okay with Edward coming to dinner?" I confirm as Ellie applies clear polish on my big toe. I've told them I was out getting coffee and that Edward had called me and that we'd made plans.

Of course I could see Rose's incredulous nod as I lied to my daughter and niece, but it was a necessary evil.

Alice smiles gleefully while Ellie bites her lip. "What's wrong, honey?"

"Nothing," she starts, "just, you know, he was so sad last week. I just hope he's happier now."

Rose snickers and whispers, "I bet he's happy."

I roll my eyes. "Don't worry, sweetheart, he'll be fine. You're sure you're okay with all this?"

"Yeah." She smiles brightly and turns her attention to Alice. "Hey Allie, let's go make some cookies. I bet he'll love those."

Ellie gets up and kisses my cheek and they both run into the kitchen while I do my best to ignore Rose's stare. The attention span of teenagers still astounds me. I always wonder how she's able to maintain such good grades since she's about as attentive as a gold fish.

"Spill. Now," Rose demands, elbowing me softly and shaking me out of my thoughts.

"What?" I stifle a smirk.

"Don't "what" me, sis. Where were you?" I crack a smile as memories from last night come flooding back. "You dirty ho... you boned the pretty man, didn't you?" she whisper-yells, trying not to let the girls hear her.

"Shut up! I'll have you know it was not just...boning. And by the way, how old are you? Boning? Seriously?" I'm pretty sure it was more than that, but every cell in my body refuses to go there just yet. If only my mind would stop those thoughts from coming around until I'm ready to accept it, that'd be awesome.

She shrugs nonchalantly. "Don't judge me, I hang around with a giant goofball and a bunch of teenagers all the time. Now fucking spill, woman."

"I'm not going into details," I snicker, "but let's just say what that man can do with his mouth should be illegal." I sigh and look off into space as my eyes glaze over, remembering his tongue on me while she just stares at me and folds over in a fit of giggles.

"I bet he does. That's probably why that ex-wife of his kept him around for so long." She wiggles her eyebrows and clicks her tongue.

"Oh my god, Rose...that's... oh my god!" I gasp and shake my head. "That is so wrong...but it makes so much sense." Wide eyed, I shoot her a dirty look.

"Well, I bet she had him trained in the art of cunnilingus, my dear sister. You just may be the luckiest bitch out there." She smiles like the Cheshire cat, all teeth, and eyes twinkling with mischief.

"I may have to send her a letter, thanking her for being a giant slut," I deadpan.

Rose nods and smiles, wiping away fake tears. "I'm so proud of you."

"Knock it off. We have dinner to make and I have to take a shower." I shake my head and stand.

"You should." She sniffs the air while I glare at her. "You smell like sex."

"Shut up, rose." I can't help but smile as I follow her into the kitchen shaking my head at her antics.

…

As we're setting the table and getting the last of the food out into serving dishes, the doorbell rings, alerting me that Edward is finally here. I know it's him since mom and dad got here a few moments ago, so unless anyone else has invited themselves to dinner, he's the only person missing.

Everyone reminds me that they've met him already and that I have nothing to be nervous about. I can't help it though, especially since they know how I acted towards him by pushing him away like I did. I'm embarrassed about doing that and I don't want it to be uncomfortable for him to be here.

I'm nervous as hell as I take a deep breath and open the door.

A smile automatically lights up my face as soon as I lay my eyes on him. As usual, he looks hot as hell, and after last night my entire body seems to perk up at the mere sight of him.

His smile is disarming as he quirks an eyebrow. "Bella, is everything okay?"

I shake myself out of my daze. I'm so damn transparent sometimes, it's not even funny. "I'm sorry, I just...I'm nervous and you look," I wave my hand around, motioning to his plum button up shirt and dark jeans, "like that."

Not to mention his unruly hair and the smirk gracing his lips. Damn man knows what he does to me, making me all flustered and hot. He has to know.

"Is this bad? I wasn't sure how casual these family things were-"

"No, no...oh god, not...definitely not bad!" I cut him off, shaking my head and giggling.

"You look beautiful, too, pretty girl," he says as I step back to let him inside.

I giggle nervously. "Thanks. I'm a little nervous though," I say as if it's not obvious and close the door as I wait for him to take off his shoes.

When he's done, he takes my hand in his and pulls me close to him. It's just us in the small entryway and I'm happy to have a few seconds to breath and centre myself.

"Relax, Bella. It'll be fine. Besides, how could they not love me?" He kisses my cheek and I relax a little more.

"Alright, let's do this."

…

Thirty minutes later, introductions have been made and food is being eaten.

Emmett and Edward bond immediately over some television show they both watch.

Dad is quiet, but this is only due to the medication he still has to take. It makes him groggy and mom has warned us that they would leave soon after dinner so that he can rest. I'm just grateful they were able to come over.

Alice and Ellie are sitting next to each other, giggling and whispering while side-eyeing Edward and I. I'm not sure what to make of it, but I'll definitely need to put that on the "list of stuff to discuss with my teenage daughter". Seems this list is getting longer and longer as the weeks fly by.

Rose practically eye-fucks Edward, and gives me a knowing look making me roll my eyes. She is so bad. I blame Emmett for making her this way, I swear.

And finally, Edward is sitting next to me, his left hand over my jean clad thigh as he eats with his other hand and speaks to everyone around the table like they've all know each other for years.

Mom smiles and gives me a knowing look. I know that look. She likes him, but then what's not to like?

I'm not sure about what I expected, but this is much better. I'm able to relax a little and actually eat what's in my plate while trying not to be too distracted by Edward's thumb slowly grazing the top of my knee. The gesture is innocent, but it makes me feel all sorts of tingly.

The room is full of laughs and giggles, and I wouldn't want it any other way. He fits in well, like the missing piece to my little puzzle.

…

Mom and dad excuse themselves almost as soon as they're done eating. Dad's groggy and I can tell he needs his rest, but he assures me he's okay. He hugs me and tells me that Edward is a good man. I blush and smile as I kiss his cheek and thank him. Mom also hugs me and asks if I'll be okay. I think Rose may have clued her in to my little breakdown. I just nod and tell her I'm definitely okay now.

And I am.

Edward is by my side as we bid my parents goodbye.

I like it. The feeling that he's there. Supporting. Yeah, that feeling is something I need to embrace and not be so scared of.

Alice and Ellie clear the table and do the dishes while Emmett, Rose, Edward and I enjoy a cup of coffee and some of the girls' cookies in the living room.

"We should all get together and go out next weekend," Rose says, taking a bite out of a fresh baked chocolate chip cookie.

"That sounds like fun, babe. Where did you have in mind?" Emmett asks her.

I take a cookie and can't help but moan when the chocolate hits my tongue. Ellie's cookies are always so good, which is strange since it's my recipe.

I'm so lost in chocolate heaven that I don't notice that they've all stopped talking and all three pairs of eyes are directed at me. "What?"

"Jesus, Bella. You'd think you were having an orgasm," Emmett states, laughing loudly while Rose snorts, and Edward's ears turn a bright shade of red.

"Oh my god, you did not just say that." I shake my head and roll my eyes. Only Emmett. I take a chance and turn to Edward who's laughing quietly, his shoulders bobbing up and down and has tears are running down his cheeks. "It's not that funny." I try not to laugh too, but then he looks up at me, his eyes a blazing shade of emerald green, so expressive and pure, I get lost in them and start laughing at the absurdity.

"Alright you two," Rose quips. "Edward, Bella has a thing for chocolate. As you can see, it makes her very...expressive."

"Aww, thanks sis," I deadpan. I knew she and Emmett would be trouble, but at least they're sort of funny.

"That's good to know," Edward says, winking at me at bumping my arm with his.

"You're all trouble, that's what you are. Why should I go anywhere with any of you, huh?" I ask pointedly, referring to Emmett's earlier question.

"Bella, it's been too long since we've done anything together. Besides, I'd like to get to know your new boyfriend here." Rose smirks, taking a sip of her coffee while my eyes go wide. We haven't exactly said anything about our status yet. Boyfriend does sound nice, but sort of weird at my age, I've got to admit.

Edward turns to me, seeming unaffected by what Rose just said, and says, "If you want to go, I'd love to take you."

I nod. "Alright."

"So a road trip to Port, dancing and drinks, it is then?" Emmett confirms.

"Sounds like a plan." Rose says and stands as the girls join us from the kitchen.

…

Dishes are done, guests are gone, except for Edward and it's getting late so Ellie is in the shower.

"So I guess I'm your boyfriend now, huh?" Edward asks as I'm walking him to the door.

I hate to see him go. But we both need some sleep as Monday will be here with a bang, and well, Mondays always suck.

"Yeah...er, sorry about that. I didn't know... she just assumed so..." I ramble and shrug.

"Is that what you want, Bella?" he asks, pulling me into a hug and holding me close to him with his chin perched on the top of my head.

"Yeah, I mean, if you want to..." I say slowly and quietly. I'm acting like a teenage girl. I guess re-living some sort of youth on my part is to be expected, right?

I feel him brush his lips against my hair. "I want to, Bella. I'm pretty sure that was implied with the talk but I'm glad it's out in the open now."

I pull away and look up at him. His eyes are so...happy and clear. I know I love him. I know it with my whole heart.

"I...like you so much, Edward. It's kind of scary." I'm honest and open, trying to bear myself to him, but I'm not ready to say it first even though I know we're both there already.

He leans down, forehead to forehead. "I kind of like you a whole lot too, sweetheart."

His words wash over me and I let them penetrate every cell of my body. I'm determined to let myself be loved by this man. I deserve to be happy, dammit.

* * *

**Thank you all so much for sticking around! :o)**

**xox**

**Missy**


	15. Chapter 15

**So I have the most awesome readers! Yeah I totally do! I'm sorry I was fail at replying to reviews, but for the record, I love y'all and love them all! :o)**

**SM owns everything.**

15.

The week goes by quickly enough in spite of the anticipation I feel about my upcoming double date with Edward, Emmett and Rose.

The only thing that seems off is Ellie.

She's been quiet, too quiet.

When I get home from work, she's holed up in her bedroom and keeps saying that everything is fine.

I know fine. I'm a woman and fine is never good in our vocabulary.

Edward says she's been the same as always at school so I try not to worry too much, but her attitude toward me at home truly has me worried.

Edward and I haven't seen much of each other all week. Between work and Ellie's new penchant for the dramatics, I've limited our contact to texts and long telephone conversations. Edward seems okay with it as he's preparing exams for a few of his classes and wants to have everything done so that he can relax over the weekend.

Saturday is finally here, and today seems to be the day Ellie decides to start slamming doors. And in my house, that is a definite no-no.

"Ellie, please talk to me!" I knock on her bedroom door, which she's chosen to lock for the very first time since we've moved into this house.

"I'm fine mom. Go away, please." See, that word again, and I won't have any of it.

"Elisabeth Rosalie Peters, open this door, NOW." I'm trying to keep my voice on an even keel, but dammit, she's really pushing my limits.

"Fine," she says and opens the door and holds it open while I walk in and take a seat on her bed.

"What's going on? You've been avoiding me all week and now the door slamming, you know that is unacceptable. You haven't done this since you were four years old and your father took it off of its hinges so that you'd stop slamming it." I watch her rub her eyes and slump down on the bed beside me.

"I'm sorry mom. It's not your fault." She holds her head in her hands, her elbows perched on her knees.

"Then what is it? Is it Edward? Do you not like him?" God I hope that's not it, but if I have to chose between my child and a man I'm falling hard for, my child will always come first. No matter what.

"No. I like Mr. Cullen. He's awesome. Perfect. Best step-dad, ever," she says sarcastically.

"Ellie, what's going on? And why are you calling him your step-dad? We're just dating, we're not married or anything." I move her hair behind her ear and rub her back. She's really upset and I don't like it one bit.

She huffs. "Stupid Mike and his stupid football playing friends."

I narrow my eyes. "What do you mean, baby? What did they do?"

"Ugh, first off, Laurent saw you dropping me off on Monday and then called you a...a MILF," she whispers the last part and her cheeks pink up.

I can't help but smile but then get a little creeped out at the thought that a teenager looked at me in that way. "Well, that's...disturbing," I manage to say, shaking my head.

"It's not just that, they're all mad 'cause they're failing English and I have good grades so they're saying that it's 'cause Mr. Cullen is with you," she adds rolling her eyes and flailing her arms around. She's clearly very upset.

I'm going to kill that little bastard. "So I take it you and Mike broke up, then?" For some reason, I hope to god this ends well. And that I can keep my job.

"No. It wasn't him that started it. Tyler was pissed 'cause if he doesn't get an A on his big test next week, he's not going to pass this class. And Mike told them that you were with Mr. Cullen. It's been a long week and everything is fine now, I just need to be alone for a bit, that's all."

I wrap my arms around her and hug her. She's almost the same size as I am now and it feels weird to think back to when she was little and I could bounce her on my knee. I miss those days sometimes. "And you're sure you're okay with everything, baby?"

She looks up at me with a teary smile. "Yeah, I really like Edward, mom. And I think you two make a great couple. He's in love with you, you know?" She nods for emphasis and I start laughing, relieved that she's going to be okay but also curious as to how she knows this.

"Oh is he now?" I ask as I push the stray hairs away from her face.

"Oh yes, definitely. And I'm pretty sure you love him too, don't you?" Her wry smile is cheeky and sweet. That's my girl.

"Ehmm...maybe. I don't know yet." I do, I really do. But I'd like for him to be the first person to hear it.

"Uh huh." She nods and then scoots back and leans against her headboard. "So, Alice is coming over tonight and we're doing a chick flick marathon."

And she's already over it and changing the subject. Hopefully our little chat is enough to make her feel better about the situation. I can't help the little pang of guilt that lingers over me about the fact that I am dating her teacher.

Although the MILF thing makes me shudder to no end. That is so wrong on so many ways.

I'm so glad I had a girl.

We chit-chat about the movies they will be watching and then out of nowhere she asks, "So is Edward ever going to sleep over?"

At first, I'm not quite sure how to answer her. Do I lie and say no? I can't do that. She's fourteen and pretty smart. But if I say yes, does this mean she'll know I'm sleeping with him?

Oh my god, she'll know I'm sleeping with him. She'll know I'm having sex.

"- mom...mom, are you okay?" Ellie's voice breaks me out of my momentary lapse in sanity and returns me to the present.

"What? Sorry, baby. What was that?" I close my eyes momentarily and clear my thoughts.

"It's okay, you know?" She smiles and looks away shyly.

"I'm sorry, what is?" I'm a little lost, apparently I missed a lot of her side of the conversation.

"If Edward...sleeps here. I won't freak out or anything, if that's what you're worried about," she ducks her head, her face scrunching up in embarrassment.

Then it clicks. "Oh...oh god...er, okay, yeah that's...great, baby. I'll keep that in mind, you know...if he wants to stay over sometime."

She nods. "Awesome. So anyways, Alice was saying that she was going to bring over her iPod. Apparently I have better taste in music..."

Sheesh...I wonder if I was this bad when I was a kid. No wonder my parents went out almost every weekend.

Leaving us alone in the house.

Unchaperoned.

"Oh and you and Alice know that you're not allowed to have anybody over, right?" I cut her off and give her the mom look and she just blankly stares at me like I have three heads.

Great, I just gave her an idea.

I scrub my hands over my face and add, "You're too young for any alone time with a boy, Ellie."

We've discussed this before, I'm just repeating myself. Often. Hopefully it'll sink in at some point.

"I know, jeez." She rolls her eyes and shakes her head.

I'm thankful I only had one. Going through this with one kid is hard enough, I can't imagine having any more.

But then the thought of pretty babies with penny colored hair running around the house almost makes me wistful. Almost.

That is a conversation Edward and I are yet to have and we should probably talk about it sooner rather than later.

My biological clock is ticking and I'm kind of over having any more kids.

Hopefully, he's okay with that.

If anything, I'll get him a puppy.

Ellie's been bugging me for one. I can kill two birds with one stone.

"So, what time are you guys leaving?"

I look over at the clock and notice the time. Crap, talking your kid off of a ledge is time consuming. "In a few hours, but I have to get ready. You wanna help me figure out what to wear?"

Ellie smiles and nods, following me into my room.

…

The doorbell goes off and just by the sound of it, I know it's Emmett.

Rose is finally here and I'm pretty happy about it. I'm having some issues with my hair. Mainly, it's long and frizzy and completely unruly.

I call out to Rose and tell her to meet me in my room. As soon as her eyes land on my hair, she makes a grimace that mirrors the way I'm feeling about it.

"Shave it off, Bella." She shakes her head and cocks it to the side. "How the hell did you manage this?"

"It's humid?" I shrug. "Fuck if I know. I look like I've gone through a wind tunnel."

"Alright, give me some hairspray and bobby-pins."

Ten minutes later, she has it nicely coiffed in a side-swept loose braid with soft tendrils framing my face.

I will never manage to do this kind of thing on my own, I swear.

…

I'm on my way over - E

Can't wait to see you - B

Me either, it's been too long - E

Oh, I have to talk to you about something - B

? - E

Later. Bring a spare toothbrush ;o) - B

O.O really? What about Ellie? - E

She's okay with it - B

Be there in five - E

...

**WVG: WitchyVampireGirl gives stamp of approval *nods* This is good stuff peoples... leave my wifey some LOVE! *mwah***

**Me: I swear... I'd die without you!**

**WVG: Yea.. its true... I keep her sane.. but I love her all the same!**

**Me: We're nuts...**


	16. Chapter 16

**AN at the bottom. ;o)**

**I own nothing.**

* * *

16.

The ride to Port Angeles goes by quickly with Rose and I in the back seat chatting along about nothing and everything. Once in awhile, I feel Edward's eyes on me and when I look up, he's turned his head from the passenger seat and winks. It's sweet and makes me blush. Every. Single. Time.

We haven't had a chance to discuss my text about the toothbrush. I think this is something that should stay between me and him. Rose knows too much already, she doesn't need to know he's possibly staying over later too.

Truth be told, I'm giddy about the prospect. I feel like I'm breaking some rules, like my boyfriend is staying over and I'm being all naughty. I suppose the newness of it all will wear off after awhile, but for the time being, I'm enjoying these new experiences.

"We're here, ladies," Emmett booms as he parks the car.

Looking around, I notice we're in the swankier part of town. I can't say I've been here very much before. "Is the food any good?" I ask as we get out of the car. I suppose Rose and Emmett have been here plenty of times in the past.

Rose joins me on my side of the car. "The food here is fantastic. You'll love it!"

I smile as Edward takes my hand in his and brings it to his lips, kissing my knuckles tenderly. "Good. I've been wanting to try new things," I say, looking up and meeting Edward's eyes.

Rose snickers while Edward's lips curl up in a sexy smirk.

"I hear the lamb chops are pretty spectacular," Edward says as we make our way inside the restaurant.

"Their barbecue ribs are to die for!" Emmett states, wrapping his arm over Rose's shoulder.

…

An hour and a half later, we're stuffed to the gills. Emmett was right, the food is truly amazing.

"So I guess going dancing right away isn't a very good idea, huh," Rose says, patting her belly and sighing contently.

"Er, no babe. Give me about an hour and then I'm all yours. I just gotta let this go down." I grimace at Emmett's words, while Edward snickers and Rose groans.

Rose shakes her head. "See Bella, no matter how old they are, they're all pigs."

We all laugh as Emmett proceeds to make oinking noises and tries to sniff his wife's neck while she attempts to bat him off, but fails completely.

I lean over closer to Edward and whisper, "I'm sorry about them."

He chuckles and replies, "Don't be. They're very entertaining."

I giggle. "Just so you know, according to mom, neither of us is adopted."

He looks over at the two of them who are now holding hands and speaking in hushed tones. "Meh, some things skip a generation." He shrugs.

"Oh Lord," I deadpan, eyes wide while doing my best not to laugh. "Poor Alice."

"What are you two whispering about over there?" Rose asks, leaning a little closer to us.

"Nothing." I shrug."Just making fun of you two is all."

She points a well manicured finger in our direction. "Do that later. When we're not around, please." She smiles and winks playfully.

Just when we're about to go into another round of sisterly banter, the waitress comes by and gives us our bills.

Edward takes ours and swiftly holds it in his hand opposite of me and distracts me by ghosting his fingers from his other hand down my spine causing me to squirm in my seat.

I suck in a quick breath and clear my throat, making him chuckle. He's torturing me slowly and knows it.

By the end of the night, I'm pretty sure he's not going home.

Which reminds me. "Did you bring what I asked for?"

He gives me a blank stare for a moment before I see recognition flickering in his eyes as a mischievous smirk plays on his lips. "It's in my car."

The room feels really warm all of a sudden as my body reacts to his words. Remembering what it was like to be with him last weekend sure makes our dinner conversation and night out feel like it's taking forever.

I want to go home as soon as possible. Actually, right this minute would be awesome.

Shaking my head, I smile and whisper, "I can't wait."

Edward brings his hand to the back of my neck and gives me a light squeeze while shaking his head and whispering, "You're killing me, Bella."

…

The club's hopping, er, well, that's what Rose says anyway. I'm just surprised to be surrounded by actual people my age. I was expecting a younger crowd, like some twenty one year olds dancing on speakers to some boy band base beat, but I'm pleasantly surprised to see that most of the people here have been of age for a few years, and the music is a mixture of dance mixed in with some classic rock.

We order drinks, with the exception of Emmett who insists on being the designated driver even when I tell him I can drive his car. Oh well, this just means I can loosen up a little and have a few drinks.

"I want to make a toast." Rose stands and lifts her glass. "I'm glad to have you around, little sis. It's too bad it took this long for you to realize how awesome you are, but never doubt it again.

We love you, no matter what." She clinks her glass against mine and continues, "To Bella's new life."

Edward hugs me to his side with his free arm and clinks his glass with mine. "I'm happy you moved here, Bella."

The heat from his body and his words wash over me, coating me in so many ways. So many emotions run through me at once bringing a lump in my throat.

I won't cry though, I'm not sad. I'm happy. Deliriously so.

For the first time is so long, I've found my place. Here, with these people. They are family. Even Edward in such a small amount of time has wiggled his way into my life and I can't ever imagine a life where he's not there.

It's like I wasn't really living before, just going through the motions. Alec never made me feel like this. Ever. He has his own life now. He's happy. He's starting over with a new family. It's my turn to find my own version of that.

We all clink our glasses together, bringing me out of my thoughts. I look around and smile. "Thank you. So much, all of you. This...tonight...I'm having a really good time."

And I am. Edward's arm tightens around me and I scoot over just a bit in my seat to try to get even closer. I'm almost sitting on his lap at this point, but the place is so dark, I doubt anyone would even care.

His fingers skim the skin at my waist between my blouse and skirt, and makes me shiver in the best of ways. It's like he's lighting a fire with just that simple small touch.

At first it tickles and I almost tell him to stop, but then his thumb slides up against my back and the tips of his fingers graze the skin right under the waist of my skirt making me squirm against his hand. His touch lingers there as he slowly, delicately runs his fingers back and forth over my overheated skin. It's simple and completely innocent, yet it's making me very flustered.

I feel bad that I'm not even listening to what Rose, Emmett and Edward are talking about but I can't concentrate to save my life.

I bring my hand to Edward's thigh and start to graze his inner thigh in the same patterns he's drawing on my waist.

When Emmett and Rose leave us alone to go dance, I watch out of the corner of my eye as Edward takes a deep breath and turns his head to meet my eyes. All I see there is lust. His eyes are slightly hooded and dark. It could be due to the alcohol, or maybe it's just that my own drink is making me brave and apparently my hand had a mind of its own. My pinky has been grazing the seam of his pants for the last few minutes, and I'm pretty sure I've woken up some part of his body that will come in very very handy later.

I smile coyly and bring my glass to my lips, taking a drink without breaking eye contact. He shakes his head and lowers his lips to my ear. "You're quite the vixen, aren't you?"

I shrug, the alcohol making its way into my system makes me bold and honest. "Only when you're around."

"That's kind of a good thing. I wouldn't want to share you." His fingers trail up my side, grazing the side of my breast and over my shoulder to my neck where he threads his fingers softly through the hair at the nape my neck, making me shiver.

I turn to face him fully and the intensity between us is too much. I lean forward and lick my parted lips, I want to kiss him. Badly. "You have me, all of me, Edward." I cup his jaw, feeling the rough stubble under my fingertips as I close the distance between us and kiss him like my entire life depends on it.

It's slow and sweet with tongue and teeth as his hands and fingers thread through my hair and pull me closer. I think of the care Rose took in making it all nice, but then Edward grunts and nothing matters anymore except for his mouth on mine and his hands anywhere on my body.

It's a lot of PDA but I can't find it in me to care. My heart is racing a hundred beats per minute and I feel like I'm floating. Nothing could make me stop what I'm doing.

Edward groans, spurring me on as I kiss the side of his mouth and jaw, all the way up to his ear where I flick his earlobe with my tongue. "I want you so much, Edward Cullen." I close my eyes and take a deep breath, leaning my forehead against his shoulder. It's like it's all too much, but yet not enough.

Edward's hands make their way down my back and he hugs me closer to him. "It's mutual, sweetheart, trust me." He pulls away slightly and adjusts himself while I pretend I haven't noticed his movements. I totally do though, and it makes me feel exceptionally great that I've done that; that I've made him this flustered and hard. If I had an inner goddess, she'd be fistpumping and dancing the hula right about now, but I don't have one, and that fanfic is just plain bad. "Uhmm, we'll have to wait a few minutes before getting on that dance floor, okay?" he whispers, a light blush tinting his cheeks.

I giggle, giving his thigh a light squeeze. "It's all good, baby."

…

Dancing with Edward is...an experience. I mean, I generally have two left feet when it comes to dancing. Alec and I never went clubbing much and when we did, I would usually dance with a bunch of other girls while he drank. And I think that only happened twice.

So being led around the dance floor in Edward's strong arms is kind of, I don't know, fantastic? Yeah, that's what it is. He's wonderful, twirling me around and catching me just when I think I'm going to stumble. Rose laughs and shakes her head when I make faces at her and mouth "I want to marry him". Truth is, I've only had a glass of wine with dinner and a few fruity drinks. I'm not even buzzed, yet I feel like I'm flying high; like this is a dream. I'm having so much fun and judging by Edward's smile and the twinkle in his eyes, he's also enjoying himself.

When the first slow song comes on, Edward's hands skim down my sides as he pulls me to him and I wrap my arms around his neck, fingering the short hairs at his nape.

My belly is pressed against his and I can't help rolling my hips slightly when I feel parts of him coming to life between us.

"Bella," Edward sighs, leaning down and taking my earlobe between his lips.

I moan and press my tits against his chest while his hands slide over my back. I'm so wet, it's ridiculous. My underwear are completely soaked and it's all his doing.

It's like the evening has been a giant exercise in self control. I want to go home. I want to take him home. I want him in my bed. I want to see what he looks like with his head on my pillow.

"What are you thinking of?" His sweet breath fans over my face and I try to maintain some sort of composure under his intense gaze.

"My pillow?" I blurt out then frown. "I mean, just...er, nothing?" I look away, my cheeks hot and my body even hotter.

Damn alcohol.

He chuckles. "Soon, baby, I think your sister is about to drag Emmett off into a dark alley somewhere."

I look over and... "Eww, dammit, you'd think those two were over the whole lovey-dovey stuff by now." That is so not cool.

Edward chuckles and I bury my face in his chest. I can't believe I just watched my sister grind herself against Emmett's thigh like that...I may need to bleach my brain.

Then again, it may just be payback over what she's had to witness all evening.

…

The ride home is uneventful as Rose and I ride together in the back seat while the men are in the front. It's probably best this way since I would not have had the willpower to hold off on touching Edward. Hell, I barely have enough of it in me to wait for him while he gets his overnight bag from his car.

Entering the house, it's quiet and when we get to the living room, Alice and Ellie are asleep on big piles of pillows, the television is turned off and it seems like they've had fun with popcorn since there are some kernels all over the floor. I shake my head and roll my eyes, making a mental note to make them pick that up in the morning.

I press a finger to my lips, motioning for us to be quiet, as I take Edward's hand and twine my fingers with his to lead him upstairs.

I'm nervous. Not about sleeping with him, but about having him in my bed. I've never done this and as much as I want it, I can't help the butterflies in my belly.

We're at my house. In my bed. I'm getting what I wanted. It just feels...surreal.

"So, this is it." I suck in my bottom lip and bite is nervously.

Edward pulls me against him and kisses me until I'm breathless and panting. I undo the buttons on his shirt as we kiss and take it out of his pants, pressing my palms against the expanse of his chest. He feels so good, I can't wait to be pressed up against him naked.

I pull away, breathless. "Give me a minute?"

He nods. "Only a minute. I'll miss you."

I smile and shake my head, kissing the corner of his mouth before closing the en suite bathroom door behind me.

I make quick work of doing my business and cleaning myself up. Once all my makeup is removed and my hair is brushed and into a ponytail, I look like same-old Bella Swan, complete with eye glasses.

I sigh and take off my clothes, opting to just go for the kill by only wearing a bathrobe and a smile.

I take a deep breath, mentally preparing myself for either, a) an empty bedroom, you know, if he chickened out and left; b) Edward, already asleep in my bed; or c) Edward, standing there, waiting for me, still dressed but smiling.

Opening the door, I see none of the above. It's way better. It's like my fantasy from earlier, only better.

Edward is sitting on my bed only wearing his boxer-briefs. The blankets are pulled back and he looks like he's waiting for me to join him. "Perfect," I whisper, gazing at him and taking in how he looks in my bedroom.

He smirks. "Come here, pretty girl." And I do, 'cause he could lead me to hell, and I'd follow blindly at this point. "You're wearing too many clothes," he says huskily as I stand between his parted thighs and watch as he loosens the ties of my robe.

My breathing is uneven and I watch Edward as he licks his lips, concentrating on the fabric between his fingers. "I'm glad you agreed to this."

His eyes meet mine. "I've told you a million times, Bella. I want you. That won't change anytime soon." As he says this, he finally gets my robe open and I take a deep breath as he slips it off my shoulders, softly ghosting his fingers over my shoulders and down my arms.

My breath hitches and my nipples harden as the cool air hits my skin. Edward's fingers trace a line from my bellybutton to the underside of my breast and I can't help the whimper that resounds deep within my throat.

This is so freaking hot.

"God, you're beautiful," Edward whispers as he dips his head and brings his mouth to my nipple, taking it between his lips and flicking his tongue over it.

My head falls back as I thrust my chest out and take a step closer to him. "Sweet Jesus," I mumble, threading my fingers through his hair and holding his face to my chest.

His fingers and mouth do good work at making me ache for him and before I can even process what I'm doing, I've straddled his hips and pressed my pussy against his still clothed hard cock.

"I need you, Bella," Edward groans, releasing my breast and pressing open mouthed kisses all the way up my throat.

His eyes are dark, the green barely visible as I press kisses to his eyelids and cheek, all the way to his ear. "Then take me, Edward."

Edward wraps his arms around me and flips us over onto the bed, pressing the length of his body against mine.

I relish in the heaviness of his large frame over mine, pinning me down, holding me, while our mouths, tongues and teeth explore each other.

He's hard against me, hitting my clit just right as I roll my hips against his and wrap my legs around his waist, bringing him impossibly closer.

I manage to slip my big toe underneath the waistband of his underwear and start lowering them when he stops me and stands to take them off.

"That's so much better," I sigh, taking him in completely. He's beautiful, tall and lean with small splattering of hair over his chest and down to my happy place.

Edward smiles shyly and shakes his head, crawling between my legs where he kisses both my breasts before pressing soft kisses to my lips. "I... I love you, Bella. I want you to know that."

I smile and frown, it's unexpected but I'm happy at hearing those words, I can't help the tears that seem prickle at my eyes. There's a tightness in my chest, but it's not sadness, I'm elated and speechless.

"You don't have to say anything back," he starts, a frown forming on his forehead, but I smile and reach up to press my thumb against it, smoothing it down.

"Don't... I love you too, Edward. I can't even..." I shake my head. "I can't tell you in words what you mean to me." I smile as tears stream down the side of my face.

I reach up and kiss him, sliding my tongue against his and pouring every ounce of feeling into this kiss as our bodies grind and move against each other, seeking more.

Edward cups my sex and slides his fingers easily down my slit, spreading wetness around and pressing his thumb against my clit while I writhe against his hand.

"Oh, god, Edward, please...I want you..." I moan and pant. So much need, so many emotions.

I reach down and give his cock a few strokes before Edward takes it in his hand and glides it easily against me, lining himself up with my entrance.

When he pushes into me, it's like everything around us disappears. We are one, moving together towards a common goal.

I hum and try to keep the noise down as I'm still aware of the two teenage girls downstairs.

Edward grunts and kisses my breasts, neck and mouth while I push my hips against his rhythmically and scratch his back pulling him to me, like he's not close enough. He'll never be close enough. I want to crawl inside him and take up residence in there. I want to hold on to this moment forever and never let it go.

I close my eyes and arch my back while the coil in my belly tightens and tightens before finally unraveling, white lights exploding behind my eyelids leaving my body limp and quivering.

With one more thrust I feel Edward still against me, his face buried in the crook of my neck and his mouth latched onto my skin.

"Fuck, Bella...that was..." he breathes into my ear.

"Intense?" I finish for him, breathlessly.

"I love you."

* * *

**I'm sorry for the delays. I've been writing quite a bit and RL has kept me busy so I've slacked off on replying to your reviews. But, seeing as I have the best readers EVER, and you guys are soo sweet and amazing in waiting for me, I have a treat. I've written a few EPOV outtakes. I don't want to post them here since this is Bella's story, so I'll send them with your review replies. Make sure you're signed in though, otherwise I won't be able to send it to you. ;o)**

**Thank you soooo much! :o)**

**xox**

**Missy**


	17. Chapter 17

**Your response to this story has been amazing. Thank you! :o)**

**This isn't beta'd. I'll replace the chapter when I get it from Bel. I wasn't able to write as much as I wanted to during my vacation, and this is late enough as it is.**

**I own nothing.**

* * *

17.

The phone rings and rings and rings before someone, somewhere inside the house answers it.

I squint, letting my eyes adjust to the soft light filtering into my bedroom.

As the arm wrapped around my waist tightens, memories from the previous night filter behind my eyelids making me smile and bury my face deeper into the crook of Edward's neck.

I've never been a cuddler, but apparently some things change depending on who you're with. Who knew?

For some reason, Edward's touch doesn't bother me so much. I want it; crave it. I can't get enough of it, so much so that I seem to gravitate towards him while I sleep.

"Mom, Aunt Rose is on the phone," Ellie says while gently knocking on the bedroom door.

I sigh and drop a kiss to Edward's shoulder. "I got it, sweetie. Thanks"

I smile as I meet Edward's eyes. Apparently he's been watching me. "I think you better get that," he says through a yawn, his voice thick with sleep. God, that sounds kinda sexy.

I reach over on the other side of him, giving him a full view of my tits as I press them against his chest, and giggle when he groans.

Ha, take that, mister!

"Hey Rose, what's up?" I giggle as Edward closes his eyes and rubs his hands over his face.

"_Apparently I'm not having as good a morning as you are, sis."_

I sit up a little to hold the phone better. "Probably not, but then again your older sister didn't just wake you up with an annoying phone call at," I look over at my alarm clock, "nine thirty AM."

"_Well, better to be cockblocked by me than mom, young lady. She called me an hour ago and kept me on the phone. She doesn't want to do Sunday dinner and since it was my turn to host it, I got to pick the restaurant so I decided that brunch would be more fun."_

Crap. Well, brunch would be fun. Bacon. Eggs. Toast. Pancakes. Anything I haven't made myself would be great, actually. "What time?" Just as I ask, my stomach grumbles, indicating its agreement to this arrangement.

"_Around ten thirty at the Lodge, how does that sound? And make sure to invite Edward. He's there, right?"_

Rolling my eyes, I look over at Edward and smile. He's laying on his back with the sheet barely covering his waist and his arms are tucked in behind his head. _Jesus_, what a sight. "Do you want to have brunch at the Lodge with us?"

He scratches at his day's growth of beard, looking like he's contemplating it while I roll my eyes. "Yeah Rose, I'll drag him along."

"_Make sure to bring my kid, would ya? Unless you two have managed to completely scar her for life with you sexy times, then keep her. The therapy bill is all yours."_

"Fuck off, Rose. If anything, you've probably done so yourself. Don't think I haven't seen the way you eyefuck Emmett all the freaking time. I lived with you guys, remember?" I reply sarcastically while watching Edward as he watches me.

"_Ugh, I almost forgot. I guess I can't pawn off her therapy bill on you, huh?"_

"Er, no. Is this conversation over? 'Cause I have some things to take care of." I wiggle my eyebrows playfully at Edward making him laugh. "We'll be there in an hour."

"_Fine. You want to get your groove on, I get it. You don't-"_

"Bye, Rose." I hang up the phone and run a hand over Edward's chest, earning a soft groan. "You think we can make this quick, baby?" I purr.

I'm feeling frisky and brazen this morning. I like this part of me. Taking charge and taking what I want is fun. I like it. A lot.

Edward smirks and pulls me over him to straddle his waist over the sheet that is covering his lower half. The very tented sheet that covers his lower half. "I think we can manage," he says huskily.

Leaning down, I press kisses to his collarbone and neck then whisper, "shower with me? We'll kill two birds with one stone."

Edward's grip tightens on my waist and he shifts his hips, letting me know how...excited he is about this plan of mine. "Sounds like a good plan to me."

I stand and extend my hand to him, watching as he flips the sheet off of his naked body and stands...in all of his naked glory. "Yeah, really...good plan." My eyes are glued to his dick which I'm shamelessly ogling.

I've never been one of those girls who watch porn and actually enjoy looking at naked men, but naked Edward is pretty nice to look at.

"Ehm, Bella?" Edward takes a step and breaks me out of my trance.

"Yeah?" My eyes snap up to his face...and he's smirking. Awesome. I feel my face flush in embarrassment and pull my lips together in a shy smile.

Jesus, what is this man doing to me? I've known him for a little over a month, yet I feel like I've known him my entire life and apparently I have absolutely no qualms about watching him. Every part of him. Naked.

Edward takes another step and wraps me in his arms, pulling me flush to him, sandwiching his cock between us. It's like a warm steel rod pressed against my tummy.

A shiver runs through me as he strokes my back softly. I relax in his embrace and kiss his chest. "We won't make it to the shower if you keep doing that, Bella."

"We won't get there if you don't let me go, Edward," I retort playfully while pulling away from him and opening the bathroom door.

…

Forty five minutes and some pretty awesome shower sexing later, we're clean, dressed and on our way downstairs. Ellie and Alice can be heard giggling and whispering to each other, and the living room is free of all things popcorn.

"You girls ready to go?"

They both look up at the same time and Alice's face lights up when her eyes move from me to the figure standing beside me.

Edward wraps his arm around my waist and I watch Ellie's face scrunch up slightly. Instead of saying anything, I file it away with the drawerful of other things we need to discuss. But then as soon as my thoughts go somewhere where Ellie is completely against all of this and that this is all happening too fast for her, her face smooths out into a smile and she tilts her head, seemingly pleased with what she sees.

I let out a sigh of relief and let myself melt into Edward's embrace, content that the stress of the situation is averted and that everything is fine.

"Yeah. Ehm, I'll just go upstairs to get my purse," Ellie says, getting up off of the floor and taking Alice's hand. "Come with me, Al, I need your help with something."

They race up the stairs, giggling as they go and I turn in Edward's arms, burying my face in his chest. "This is awkward."

He chuckles. "A little, but not as bad as I would have thought."

"I guess it could have been worse." I shrug and take a step back, gathering my purse and jacket.

"Yeah, they could have walked in on us," Edward whispers teasingly.

"Ugh, please let's not go there," I reply, tying up my sneakers.

Edward had brought his overnight bag which had a fresh pair of underwear and a clean shirt. He's like a boy scout, all prepared and everything.

I snort at the thought making Edward's eyebrows shoot up in his hairline. I shake my head eyeing the bag in his hand. "Just imagining you in a boy scout uniform."

He smiles adorably, biting his lip. "Is that like...is that like a fantasy of yours, Bella?" The tips of his ears are red which makes me giggle.

I lean in closer to him. "Maybe."

He takes a deep breath, his eyes darkening as his tongue peeks out, swiping over his bottom lip.

But before we can explore this conversation any further, the girls come down the stairs in a rush of loud steps and even louder giggles.

…

"So, I guess the girls didn't ask too many questions this morning," Rose says before taking a drink of her mimosa.

We've been at the Lodge for about half an hour. Unfortunately, they couldn't seat all eight of us together, so mom and dad are sitting with Alice and Ellie while Rose, Emmett, Edward and I are sitting together.

I shake my head. "Nah, I thought one of them would but they were too busy giggling and whispering. I guess it wasn't too much of a surprise."

"Teenagers are a fun age. You can talk to them like they're real people and they actually appreciate it," Edward says, taking a bite of his sausage.

"Hey, how come you don't have kids, Ed? Swimmers not swimming right?" Emmett chuckles nonchalantly, smiling and shoving food into his mouth.

And all I can do is stare at him. I mean, it's not a subject we've broached much. It's something we need to talk about sure, but damn, the big lug beat me to it.

"Emmett," Rose scolds, giving him "the look".

"What? It's a simple question, Jesus, woman, lighten up!" He winks at his wife and shrugs.

I still haven't said a word and I can't even look in Edward's direction. I'm afraid of what I'll see.

I know he doesn't have kids, obviously. He's said in the past that his ex simply didn't want any. But in reality, maybe he did? Maybe he'll want some? Maybe he'll want some with me?

I don't want any more babies. I'm too old for babies. Didn't I have this discussion with someone not too long ago?

"I...uhm, my ex-wife got pregnant," he starts and my eyes shoot up to his and I almost drop my fork. I had no idea. He breaks eye contact with me and looks in Emmett's direction. "When we first were married about twelve years ago. She lost it and was told it would be too dangerous for her own health to even try to get pregnant again." He shrugs and takes forkful of eggs and brings it to his mouth.

I don't know what to say. It's like...how do I process this? I can't imagine my life without Ellie.

"Oh man, I'm so sorry," Emmett whispers. He stops chewing for a second and looks like he's actually remorseful. It's refreshing, I don't think I've ever seen him look like this.

"It's alright, it was a long time ago. I made peace with it and just immersed myself in my work. I love the kids I teach like they were my own except I get to skip the terrible twos and all the diapering," Edward laughs and takes a sip of his orange juice like it's no big deal. "I guess, knowing then what I know now, maybe things would have been different but it just hasn't worked out that way." He shrugs and keeps eating as if he's just explained away the difference between affect and effect.

Like it's just another subject of conversation.

I reach under the table and bring my hand to his, squeezing it lightly.

"But you can still have them, right?" Rose asks, raising an eyebrow in my direction. I can't imagine what I look like right now.

I'm a little freaked out to be honest, I'm not sure what to do or what to think, really.

"Yeah, the swimmers are working well, I guess. I just...I'm not getting any younger, you know?" He shifts uncomfortably in his chair and his eyes finally meet mine while he squeezes my hand back.

And all of a sudden it all makes sense. It doesn't matter how old we are or what goes on, the truth is, if he wanted a child; if _we _wanted a child, I'd probably give him one. We're both healthy and plenty of women have babies while in their thirties. Ellie is getting a sibling already and she hasn't freaked out. She's like the best kid in the world so I guess I could possibly do this again.

I smile and his eyes crinkle in the corners while his lips mirror mine. We'll talk about it at some point, but not right now with everyone else around.

"You're a great teacher, Edward. You would have been a great dad," I tell him and squeeze his hand, swiping my thumb over his palm.

"You think so?" His fingers play with mine, twining them together under the table. His thumb rubbing smoothly over my knuckles making me relax under his touch.

I nod dumbly and bite my lip. "Yeah, I think so...just not... ya know...it's a little early to-"

He cuts me off, "Yeah, definitely...not right away."

I nod and smile.

"So, you love birds got any plans for Thanksgiving?" Rose asks, breaking us out of our little bubble and changing the subject.

Dammit, I hadn't thought about it. "I guess we can do pot-luck at my house again this year." Last year I made the turkey while everyone else brought over the rest of the fixings. It was awesome, and really freaking good.

"My parents are supposed to come up and visit. They _will _meet you this time, Bella," Edward teases.

"The more the merrier, and your mom's off the hook. She doesn't even have to cook." I cut my french toast and dip it in some sirup. Damn that's good. After the whole baby talk, I was afraid I'd lost my appetite.

"That sounds awesome, E. Not only do they get to meet Bella, they also get to meet the rest of the family." Emmett chews with his mouth open, grinning like a fool.

"It won't be so bad, Bella. I won't let him embarrass you." Rose rolls her eyes and shakes her head while wrapping her small hand around her husband's forearm.

Edward grins. "As long as there's turkey and football, dad'll be fine."

"There's my kind of man. See, Bella, it'll be fine." For some reason, Emmett's words aren't comforting at all.

I'm not nervous about meeting his parents. I guess I was supposed to meet them weeks ago, but my momentary freak out sort of kept me from that. I'm glad to be able to make their acquaintance now though. We've said our feelings out loud and there's this connection between us that's just there. It can't be explained, really, and nothing his parents say or do will stop me from loving him and I know, I just know he feels the same about me.

I am worried about what Emmett will do. He always has these football themed dishes that he makes Rose prepare. I pray it's not "Hawaiian Blue Balls" again this year. I'm not sure I could survive the innuendo. Again.

He grins, and I know by the look on his face he knows what I was just thinking. "Don't, Emmett, please?"

"Aww, Bella, come on. Don't be such a prude. Let Eddie here loosen you up." His eyes sparkle with mischief and I die.

A thousand deaths.

Shaking my head, I take a deep breath. "Just, no blue balls this time, alright?"

He nods. "No problem."

And for some reason, I know I'm screwed anyways.

…

Edward drives Ellie and I home, and I can't help but think of everything that was brought up over brunch. Ellie and Edward discuss some school rally going on on Monday while I pretend to listen, only I'm really not.

Babies, Thanksgiving, meeting parents...oh my! It's all too much information for a Sunday morning.

He parks the car and we all get out, but Edward takes my hand and pulls me toward the porch swing while Ellie just says goodbye and goes inside.

"Hey, what's going on, Bella? You're way too quiet." He sits and pulls me to his lap where I nuzzle his neck, inhaling deeply. He smells of Irish Spring and Edward. I love it.

"It's a lot, is all. I mean, babies, parents, Emmett...I just need a moment to process it." I shift on his lap and wrap my arms around his neck.

He chuckles. "I know. If I would have thought you were out there, I would have waited a lifetime for you, Bella."

My throat closes up as I blink away the tears welling up behind my eyelids. He's so amazing and sweet. "I want so much of everything with you. I know it's too early to discuss some of these things, really, but I guess I'm scared. I didn't think I'd have any more kids after I had Ellie. Alec was a good father but it was hard to manage the house and work when she was little, plus it just never happened." I shrug. "I guess I'm kind of like you, in a way, I mean I had her and thought I was done."

His arms envelop me in a hug and his fingers play with the ends of my hair. "We'll take it a step at a time, Bella. Honestly, I'd love to have children of my own, but I don't feel like I'm missing anything. I love the kids I teach and I love your daughter. All of this scares me too, sweetheart. It's not just our age, it's the fact that we can enjoy being together in a way that we couldn't if we had a little one." He sighs and licks his lips, contemplating. "But then, the thought of seeing my child grow inside you...that does something to me, baby." His voice is husky as he slips his hand to cup my cheek, making me look into his eyes which are sincere and open; light green with a hint of grey. "I love you, sweetheart. How about we start with Thanksgiving and see where things go from there, huh?"

I kiss his lips softly. "I like that. I love you too, Edward. So much."

He tilts his head and kisses me deeply, mingling his tongue with mine. We're not grinding or anything, just kissing; his lips caressing mine lovingly, sucking gently and nibbling at my own lips. It's soft and slow and so sweet. Just us and this and nothing else.

We're making out on my front porch, and I sincerely don't give a crap.

Until Ellie comes back outside and clears her throat.

I giggle and bury my face in Edward's chest while he looks up at her and just shrugs with a smile playing on his slightly swollen lips.

"Mom, Dad's on the phone. He needs to talk to you. He says it's urgent."

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**Yes, a cliffie... I am mean! ;o)**


	18. Chapter 18

**I was told to issue a tissue warning.**

**I own nothing.**

* * *

18.

Ellie is as white as a ghost when she hands me the phone. Whatever Alec told her was definitely not good.

With shaky hands I bring the phone to my ear. "Alec, what's going on?"

"It's Kate. We ehm..." He starts sniffling and I swallow a lump in my throat as dreadful feeling washes over me.

Hearing him like this still tugs at me, no matter what happened between us. I did love him at some point, and he is my child's father after all.

Edward's hand wraps around mine and I squeeze it, my eyes meeting his. He frowns and makes a face, silently questioning me, and I shake my head from side to side in response. I have no idea what could possibly be going on.

Alec's not talking and all I hear are his sobs. This is bad. Whatever it is, it's very bad. "What happened, Alec?" I pause for a second, taking a deep breath and willing my thoughts away from the one place I don't want them to go to. "Is Kate okay? What about the baby?" I ask, softly, concern lacing my voice.

I hear him take a deep breath. "She went into labor early this morning. Her water broke and everything."

His voice is barely a whisper as he says these few words that confirm the worst case scenario. It's much too early for the baby to come since she's only around nineteen weeks along. He doesn't have to say much more. I don't make him say it all aloud. It's already too much to handle as it is.

"I'm so sorry, Alec." A tear runs down my cheek and I mouth "baby" to Edward and close my eyes shaking my head. Understanding crosses his features and he wraps his arm around me.

I was never vindictive toward Kate, and this news saddens me quite a bit. They deserve to be happy in spite of everything. I made peace with their relationship a long time ago.

Right at this very moment though, it's a reality that sort of slaps me right in the face. Kate was only a few years younger than me.

"Thank you, Bella. I told Ellie that Kate was sick, but I haven't been..." he sobs and sobs and sobs and I understand that he wants me to tell her that her little brother or sister is gone.

"I'll tell her," I sniffle. "How is Kate?"

"They had to sedate her. The baby, my son, he was so small, Bella." His gut wrenching words hit full force and I break down, burying my face in Edward's shoulder.

After a few seconds of silence that feel like they take forever, Alec manages to calm himself down enough to say goodbye after I reassure him that I would take care of Ellie at my end.

When I press the "end" button on the phone, I look up and see Ellie is standing by the door, and her face is red and splotchy.

"Come here, baby." I beckon for her to come and sit by me on the swing. I hold her when she breaks down.

I coo and rub her back as she cries her heart out. As a mother, it hurts to see her this way, but I understand how painful this must be.

She was so excited over being a big sister. Being far from Alec meant that she would mostly Skype with the baby and Alec, but it would have been nice for her.

I understand this all too well as I have a sister of my own whom I love to death. I don't want to imagine what my life would have been like had I been an only child.

This only exacerbates the guilt I feel for not having any more kids.

"It's okay, baby," I whisper, brushing her hair behind her ears and wiping the never ending trail of tears from her eyes.

I don't have too many words to comfort her, it's like they all escape me at the moment.

"The baby died, mom. That's not fair." her head shakes from side to side, and I hug her closer in my arms.

"I know...shhh..." She closes her eyes and relaxes against me while Edward holds me close to his side.

He hasn't said much but he's still there. His presence is warm and comforting, and I wonder how I could have pushed him away in the past when he's obviously such a welcomed comfort to me now.

Things between us have changed so much in such a small amount of time, and there is no way I'm ever going back to that.

"He was small. It was too early for him to be born." I whisper to nobody in particular or maybe just confirming it out loud because if I don't do it soon maybe it was just a nightmare. But yet, I know it wasn't.

Either way, Edward and Ellie both listen when I say it, letting the words float around and sink in.

Ellie presses the side of her face against my chest and wraps her arms half hazardly around my middle. "Do you think he suffered," she asks through sniffles and sobs.

I take a deep breath and blink back fresh tears welling up behind my eyes. "No honey, I don't think he did." I really don't know the real answer to that, but I prefer to not think about it. "He's an angel now, baby." I'm not entirely sure how to explain this properly.

We sit outside for what seems like forever. Talking about babies and angels and how unfair it is for Alec and Kate.

Once we've calmed a little, I explain that the baby wasn't ready to come out. I tell Ellie about gestation periods and how preemies don't usually survive when born before twenty two weeks.

I also tell her how Kate was already on bed rest, making this situation even worse.

Ellie sniffles and calms, nodding and asking questions. Edward chimes in once in awhile when I can't find the proper words. He's a born teacher, always ready for questions.

…

During the next few weeks, it's confirmed that there will be a service and burial for Ben. Since he was actually born, he was considered a baby. No matter how small he was, his life was a precious one and losing it is something unforgettable. He weighed less than a pound, but both Alec and Kate got to hold him briefly before the nurses took him.

This gives Alec and Kate some sort of closure, though not something I ever want to go through.

Kate is put through a series of test and they confirm that getting pregnant again would most likely result in a similar scenario. She is broken and taking medication to calm her down.

Alec is also at a loss, but he's handling it slightly better, trying to be there for his wife while working and keeping up with everything else around them.

He wants Ellie to go spend Christmas vacation there and I don't argue it. His loss is a big one and I understand his need to want her there with him even if she was supposed to be here with me.

Edward sleeps over on most nights. I like having him around, he's comforting and caring. Not only for me but for Ellie. She's been sad, but thankfully teenagers seem to bounce back fairly quickly. I think it'll hit her more when she sees her father.

Halloween comes and goes without too much fanfare. Ellie and Alice spend the night watching scary movies. It's the first year that I don't have to deal with trick or treaters since the two of them answer the door and give out candy. It's cute and kind of a relief for myself.

From day to day, week to week, there's a shift that happens. It's slow, starting with a toothbrush on my bathroom counter and body wash in my shower. Then a few pieces of clothing in my closet.

Edward comes here after school and cooks dinner for us while Ellie sits at the counter and does her homework. I come home later to a warm meal and sweet kisses.

I'm completely head over heels for him, and I'm pretty sure the feeling is mutual.

It's all very domestic and happens so gradually that none of us notice the subtle changes very much.

Ellie seems very happy in spite of everything. She Skypes with Alec and they have their moments. She cries sometimes and I comfort her as best as I can. She also confides in Edward and they have a good relationship. He obviously cares a great deal for her. He's such a wonderful caring man. I don't know how I was so lucky, but I vow to make sure to be open with him and never, ever go back to that dark place in my head.

Too many tragic things have happened lately that have made me realize how precious these fleeting moments in our lives really are.

Ellie has told Alec about Edward. How he was her teacher first, and how he practically lives with us now. Alec says nothing to me about any of it specifically, but he does tell me he's happy that I seem happy. Those are same words I told him years ago when I went to his wedding to Kate.

…

The Wednesday before Thanksgiving, Ellie and I are invited to go have dinner at Edward's house. He won't be sleeping over, this I know for a fact. His parents are there, in his house for the next few days.

I will definitely miss him. Not only does he warm my bed very well, but he also warms my body like no other.

I pick up Ellie from home after work and we head to Edward's together to finally meet his parents.

My palms are sweaty and I can't help the butterflies fluttering in my belly.

"It'll be okay, mom. Mrs. Cullen is really nice. She called the house for Edward last week because she couldn't reach his cell phone, and we talked for like, an hour. Did you know that Edward used to live not far from here? You could have met him a long time ago..."

I nod and listen as she chatters on and on about soul mates and kismet. She's fourteen and it's sweet how life hasn't beaten her down into thinking any other way.

Maybe I read too many romance novels, but I sort of hope that she's right about Edward being my soul mate.

As soon as the front door to Edward's house opens, I'm met by a beautiful woman with a sweet smile that reminds me of her sons.

As Ellie had said, she's very nice, enveloping me in her arms right away and leading us into the living room to talk while Edward is preoccupied with dinner.

Within a few minutes, he joins us in the living room.

Sitting by my side and holding my hand, he formally introduces Ellie and I to his mother and father. Instead of feeling intimidated and shy, a feeling I'm all too familiar with, I feel nothing but warmth and acceptance.

Edward's parents are very much like him.

They have raised a son that is very sweet and calm.

He is someone that knows how to deal with my mental breakdowns and momentary weaknesses. He has also learned to love me in spite of any of them just as I love him and accept him wholeheartedly even when I pick up his dirty socks every single morning. It's something that reminds me that he isn't perfect.

The small things in life serve to teach us lessons that sometimes the larger things can't teach.

Dinner goes by without a hitch. Dr. Cullen makes jokes, some of them a little inappropriate, but thankfully they seem to go right over Ellie's head. Most of them are about the fact that Edward would miss his "sleeping arrangement" now that mommy and daddy are back.

I have a feeling he'll get along well with Emmett. This only spells trouble.

By the end of the evening, we say our goodbyes and Edward walks us to the door. He kisses me chastely and promises to call me later. I tell him to sneak out and meet me by my bedroom window. I'm kidding of course, but the thought of him actually doing it is kind of exciting.

A few minutes before midnight, there is a knock at the door. As soon as I open it, Edward's lips are on mine, his hands tangled in my hair.

"I couldn't go to sleep without a kiss goodnight," he breathes against my parted lips as I struggle to get my breathing back under control while my heart beats furiously against my chest.

I smile and kiss him back, falling in love with him all over again every time he says anything like this.

* * *

**I'm sorry if I made you cry. If it's of any comfort, I did too while writing it.**

**On a different note, I started posting a little drabbly fic. Check it out if teenage HS angst is your thing. **

**Thank you so much for all your words! I'm beyond floored about the love of this story...**

**xox**

**Missy :o)**


	19. Chapter 19

**I own nothing.**

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19.

"Are you sure about this, Mom?"

I nod and smile. I've answered this question about twenty times today and the answer has always been a resounding yes. "Honey, everything will be fine. Edward is a big boy, he can handle Uncle Emmett."

"But Mom, what about last year?" She's adamant about this. She's so worried about making everything perfect; little does she know that perfect never happens. It doesn't exist.

Not in this house or anyone else's. The grass isn't greener anywhere else.

I've just figured this out for myself and I'm thirty five. She has a long way to go.

"Last year was different. Everyone was visiting us; they couldn't go home right away. This year, I can boot his butt out the door." I grin and wiggle my eyebrows. Emmett thinks he can be the big man; well, he'll have another thing coming.

I'd never actually do that though, he's a good guy, although a little bit of a giant goofball. I have a good feeling about him and Edward together in the long run. They mesh well and after meeting Edward's father, I kind of get why.

And let's face it; it's always good when in-laws get along together.

…

The smell of turkey wafts through the air making my tummy rumble in anticipation. I'm not making anything else, so everyone else had better have done their part, dammit.

By three pm, Mom and Dad are here, the game is on and Dad is plastered in the living room in front of the flat screen with a tall glass of water in one hand and the remote in the other.

Mom, Ellie and I are in the kitchen, chatting over a game of cards and waiting for the others to get here. Mom made two pumpkin pies, potato salad and a sweet potato casserole.

Edward said his mom was making stuffing and some sort of dip with vegetables.

Rose is supposed to bring over the mashed potatoes and a fruit cocktail salad.

I'm praying that the cocktail salad doesn't contain actual cock. Emmett could make it happen, I just know it.

He once used phallic shaped candies to make a Jell-O mold dish. Seeing a bunch of colorful penises floating around in globby strawberry Jell-O does strange things to one's psyche. So does explaining to a five year old why it's so gross that there are little rockets in the Jell-O. She said they were yummy.

Alec thought it was brilliant.

I ended up drinking a lot.

Fun times.

I do not trust that man one bit.

"Stop worrying, Bella. He just likes to rile you up." I scowl at my mother and nod toward Ellie, silently telling my mom she's the reason why it bugs me so much.

"Things are getting harder and harder to explain away," I reply through clenched teeth.

"Well, don't worry; he's had his eyes opened in the last few weeks with certain things concerning his own teenage daughter. I wouldn't worry too much if I were you. I think he finally realized how... experienced kids are these days." Mom gets my attention fully as different scenarios make their way through my mind. What the heck did they catch Alice involved in? And why hasn't Rose said anything?

"Ellie, can you go make sure Grandpa's not asleep? You know how he gets when we leave him in front of the television." She rolls her eyes and gets up, huffing and whispering under her breath. Whatever she's saying is probably not too nice.

I don't really care.

"What did Alice do?" I lean forward, a serious expression on my face. Lord knows her and Ellie are thick as thieves and whatever one is into the other one is probably not far behind.

Mom smirks. "Well... Emmett sort of caught her and Jasper, remember him? Yeah, Emmett caught them up in her room...alone...and there was some touching involved."

I cringe at the thought. For God's sake, they are only thirteen years old. "What kind of touching?"

"Oh dear, it wasn't as bad as you think, but let's just say Emmett managed to embarrass them both and give them a stern talking to. Rose told him he'd have to keep his hijinks on the DL for a little while because his kind of debauchery has obviously rubbed off on his daughter."

I roll my eyes. "And this is supposed to make him tone down the dirty jokes?"

Mom snickers. "I've known Emmett McCarthy for years; I don't think we can expect miracles, Bella." She pats my hand and stands from the table, taking the deck of cards with her. Apparently we're done playing.

I stand and stretch my limbs. Looking at the clock, I notice how late it is and wonder what is keeping everyone.

But I don't have to wonder for very long because just as I sit down in the living room, the doorbell rings.

Ellie readily hops up and practically runs to the door. As soon as Alice walks through it, both girls disappear up the stairs.

"Well, that was quick," I mumble as I watch them retreat.

Rose and Emmett hand me their bowls and containers of food, which Mom helps me bring into the kitchen, while they take off their jackets and shoes.

We talk a bit about the dishes and I'm pleasantly surprised. There are no penises whatsoever. This is to Emmett's dismay, of course, and he makes sure to tell me as much.

"Bella, it took everything I had in me not to do it...but I've seen things...dreadful things," he says with a straight face, and I watch him visibly shudder.

I don't even hide my smile. "Oh really Em, and what were these things you speak of that could have made you do this...transformation?" I bite my lip and try to be as serious as I can, but the look on his face is priceless.

Whatever he saw in Alice's room has obviously scarred him for life. Poor man. His daughter isn't a baby anymore.

"Bella," he starts and put a hand on my shoulder in a friendly gesture, conveying the extent of how serious this is to him, "I shouldn't have gone in there."

"Good Lord," Rose chimes in. "It wasn't that big of a deal. They still had their clothes on."

Eyes wide, I stare at Rose. "What the hell were they doing?"

Emmett shakes his head. "I can't tell her. I can't get the images out of my head. They were on the bed...and there were limbs and positions...I can't."

I furrow my brows thoroughly confused. "But I thought it wasn't that bad?"

Rose huffs, opening a container of carrot sticks and dip. "Twister, Bella. They were playing Twister." She sits beside Mom, who's been listening and giggling quietly this whole time and continues, "They found my old game in the closet and Alice's floor wasn't big enough for the mat so they set it up on her double bed." She bites into a carrot stick. "Mister big mouth over there startled them and they fell."

"And you believed them, Rose?" Emmett mutters, shaking his head, "I've been a teenage boy. I know things."

"Oh yes, we know very well that you know things, don't we, Charlie?" Mom asks Dad, but he's too far into the game to even follow what we're saying so he just looks at us like we have two heads. "Never mind, anyways, remember that time we caught you and Rose in the backyard?" Mom continues, eyeing Emmett pointedly.

Rose's eyes get wide and Emmett straightens up right away.

"Ehmm, yeah, it's fine, Mom, don't...please don't," I plead. I don't want to know. I really just don't.

And the doorbell saves us from some more potentially embarrassing stories. Thank God.

Rose and Mom help me out at the door by taking the dishes and bringing them to the kitchen, while I take everyone's jacket and hang them in the closet by the door.

"Oh Bella, this must be Edward's parents," Mom greets them cheerfully on her way back from the kitchen.

I introduce everyone and join Edward, kissing him quickly before we make our way into the living room.

I'm too nervous to notice anything out of the ordinary, heck, he could be wearing nothing at all and I'd be oblivious.

"And this is my father, Charlie." Dad stands and shakes everyone's hand. He's too engrossed in the game to say much more and before I know it, so is every other male in the room.

Esme and Mom hit it off right away and start immediately talking about some television show they both watch, while Rose seems to have been sucked into the current game going on.

I personally couldn't care less about the game. I have no idea what's going on. There are two teams dressed in colorful uniforms, with nice tushies and big helmets, running around on a field and bumping into each other.

And I refuse to be schooled on football. Just no.

I catch Edward's eye and wink at him, subtly distracting him from what's happening on the screen.

He winks back and wiggles his brow.

The look in his eyes makes me warm all over and I feel a little naughty. Finally relaxing enough to take in his appearance, damn...how did I not notice how good he looks? He's wearing one of his button downs - this one is light green, making his eyes pop - and the sleeves are rolled up, giving me a nice view of his strong forearms.

Don't judge me, forearms are sexy. Taut muscles and a light sprinkling of hair...Jesus.

His long legs are covered in dark denim, a stark contrast to the light shirt that makes him look even taller. Predatory. Well, not so much, seeing as he's sitting down with his legs crossed at the ankles and still looking at me.

Well, the dark intensity of his eyes do say "predator".

I smile deviously and wiggle my brows back at him, while subtly nodding my head toward the kitchen.

"I'll go check on the turkey," I tell to nobody in particular, as apparently someone has scored...or something...taking the attention away from me.

As soon as my feet hit the tiled kitchen floor, Edward's hands are on my hips and I'm pressed against the counter with his lips attached to the back of my neck.

"I missed you," he hums, kissing a trail up my neck and flicking my earlobe.

I'm goo in his arms as I grind my ass against his growing erection. "Gah... I missed... unf… I missed you, too."

Edward sucks my earlobe into his mouth and runs his hands up my sides and to my breasts. "I hate not waking up next to you." His hot breath tickles my ear and I squirm against him even harder, earning a low groan from deep within his chest.

His mouth does magical things to my neck, which is apparently wired to my vajayjay and all of a sudden I'm reminded that there are people in the house, sitting no more than twenty feet from us. "Shit, we can't... ugh... do... this."

He hums. "Do you think we could be quiet?"

And then his thumbs brush up against my hard nipples and there's no way I'm going to say no to whatever he's going to suggest. "I think... I think I can."

He takes a step back and I miss his body heat immediately. "Follow me." Taking my hand, he leads the way down the hall and into the laundry room.

This is when I really wish I had a one storey house, or at least a bedroom on the first floor.

"Edward, you can't be serious," I admonish him as I take in my thankfully neat, stark white surroundings.

"As a heart attack." His response is followed by a flinch in his features as he realizes what he's just said. "Shit, you know... sorry... I wasn't thinking..."

"It's fine." I shake my head and smile for emphasis. "Now, what was so important that you dragged me in here to do laundry?" I don't want to go there today. Dad's fine and I really don't want to think about him right about now.

His hands are back to their spot on my hips and he pulls me roughly against him, making me giggle.

"I was going to show you how the settings work on the spin cycle."

His mouth latches on to my collarbone, and I'm suddenly reminded that I'm wearing a skirt as his hands make their way down my sides to my bare thighs.

"Oh God... I need you, Edward." My eyes roll back and I don't think I've ever been this turned on in my life. Or maybe it's the fact that we're being very naughty.

"You need me to what, sweet girl?" He turns me so that my back is pressed against his front and grinds himself into my butt.

My hands find purchase on the top of the washing machine and I close my eyes relishing in the feel of him and whatever he's doing to my body. "I need... I want you to touch me."

A low groan resounds in my ear as he presses lingering wet kisses to the back of my neck. "This isn't going to be gentle, Bella." His voice is low and gravelly, full of want. I can hear the noise from his belt buckle being undone behind me. The anticipation is driving me nuts.

Damn, the man knows what he's doing.

"I don't care... just... please." This voice isn't mine. We're going to have to re-evaluate this sleeping arrangement. I can't be without him anymore and apparently neither can my hooha.

He moves his hands under my skirt and lifts it over my hips. With his fingers dipping inside the waistband of my panties and brushing up against my skin in a slow tortuous line from my belly to my sides, he asks, "Are you sure about this?"

I bring my hand to the back of his neck, pulling the hair at the nape as I press myself into him fully, grinding my hips into his obvious erection. "Yes. Dammit, Edward."

His low chuckle makes my skin tingle from my head all the way to my toes. Every nerve ending is on alert, waiting for his next move. "You really shouldn't have said that."

With those last words, he slips my panties down and cups my sex, slipping his fingers deep inside me. "Oh Lord." I bend over the washing machine and press myself into his hand, seeking more. "Jesus...feels good." My words are muffled by one of the clean towels that are folded on top of the washer.

His front covers my back as he slowly fucks me with his fingers and tells me how wet I am for him. "You're such a naughty girl, Bella. Letting me do this to you, while our parents are in the other room."

"Christ..." I can feel myself getting closer and closer to that imminent bliss. Just a little more... and when I think it couldn't get any better, he pulls his fingers out of me and positions himself, gripping my hips for leverage, and buries his cock deep inside of me in one thrust.

"Sweet mother... Bella," he chants, his voice barely a whisper since we're trying to be quiet.

I'm not sure it's going to work, but since I can clearly hear the television and the cheering from in here, I doubt they'll hear our whispers and low moans from out there.

And I don't care.

Nope.

Because his fingers, wet from being buried inside me, are torturously pinching and swirling over my clit as he drives his cock in and out of me.

That towel I was holding on to earlier now serves to muffle my cries of ecstasy as that tingling feeling overtakes every nerve ending in my body, bringing me higher and higher.

"Jesus... fuck..." I cry out as my orgasm hits me fully, rendering my limbs to jelly.

Edward holds on to my hips as he thrusts into me with fervor, climbing higher and higher, chasing his own impending release.

My knees are weak, my breathing is shallow, he's guiding me to whatever he needs because I'm completely boneless, splayed over the washing machine like a ragdoll, and it's all of his doing.

"I love what you do to me," I tell him honestly. "I love how you're able to play me like a finely tuned instrument."

My words, although very clean compared to what he's been saying, seem to do the trick as he grunts and stills, spilling himself inside me.

"God, Bella...I fucking love you." Without breaking our connection, he leans his forehead on my shoulder and takes several deep breaths, encircling his arms around me, and holding me closely to him.

"I love you too, Edward." I can feel him going soft inside me and there is come dripping down my thigh. Not a good thing. "I need to clean up and check on that turkey." I giggle and wiggle my butt.

He groans and kisses my shoulder. "Fine, but I'm sleeping here tonight. Mom and Dad know their way around my house anyway."

He moves, letting me stand and assess the damage to my outfit. Apart from a few creases, I'm fine. I run water from the laundry tub over a couple of washcloths and hand one to Edward so he can clean himself up. "I hope nobody noticed we weren't in the kitchen."

"Bella? Edward? What are you two doing in there? The turkey is in the oven, not the dryer!" Rose exclaims from behind the door.

Very loudly.

And hearing the muffled guffaw from Emmett makes my entire body freeze.

"Busted."

* * *

**So...it's been a while, eh? Yeah, sorry about that. I made commitments to a few charities and I sort of had a lot on my RL plate. But I should be back to my regularly scheduled programming. I hope. :o/**

**As a little thank you, I have another EPOV snippet to offer up, just make sure to sign in when you review. :oD**

**A huge thanks to Midnight Cougar for saving my ass and betaing this chapter as Bel is tending to her RL.**

**xox**

**Missy :o)**


	20. Chapter 20

20.

"I can't go out there."

"Yes, you can."

"No… I cannot." I grit my teeth and try to stare him down, but to no avail.

He just smirks and rolls his eyes. "Bella, come on, it's just Rose and Emmett."

"Ehm, my house isn't that big. They heard us." I swallow back the bile rising in my throat. "My parents... oh God , your parents heard us having sex."

Edward nuzzles his face into my hair. "Bella, they didn't hear anything, you know your sister, right? And Emmett... he's... Stop worrying about this and let's go. The faster we open that door and show them that there's nothing to see, the faster you can calm down."

I take a deep breath and relax away the tears threatening to make their appearance. Edward's arms tighten around my waist and his chin leaning casually over my shoulder from behind me serves to help soothe me. "You're sure they didn't hear anything?"

"Baby, we were careful, and besides, if they'd heard anything, why would they have waited until now to knock on the door? We were done way before Rose came around."

I let his words wash over me and unlock the door. "Here goes nothing."

…

Taking the turkey out of the oven, I baste it, making sure it stays moist. After coming out of the laundry room and discovering that Rose was sitting in the kitchen and Emmett had gone back to the living room, I've stayed at this end of the house, while Edward headed back into the living room to join the guys.

"So, what exactly were you two doing in there, Bella? Come on, tell me already," Rose demands, taking a sip from her glass of wine.

"I told you, we weren't doing anything. You and your husband are too damned dirty minded for your own good." I make sure to keep my back to her while I tell her this bold faced lie. I'm pretty sure my blush would give me away in an instant.

"Well, since I know you're lying, I'll just wait 'til you give it up. Should I pour you another glass of wine?" she asks playfully. She knows I'll say anything if I start to drink. She'll have me telling her all my secrets by the third glass.

I turn on my heels to face her. "You're actually so curious to know that you'd stoop to plying me with liquor to get me to tell you what my boyfriend and I were doing behind closed doors? Seriously, Rose?" I give her my best bitchbrow and plant a hand firmly on my hip, popping it out for emphasis.

"Please, I'm married to Emmett; there is not one place in our house that hasn't been christened. Besides, we've done it before during family holidays. Why do you think it always takes us forever to find the Christmas decorations down in Mom and Dad's basement whenever we're all over there decorating?" She smirks and wiggles her brows, pulling another sip from her glass.

My jaw drops. "No fucking way?"

Her smile rivals the Cheshire Cat. "Oh yeah."

"Ewww... the basement is gross. It smells like moldy socks down there," I remind her.

She waves her hand around and takes another pull from her glass, emptying it of the truth serum before saying, "Semantics, Bella. It's hot and fast and quick."

"And gross," I add.

"No. What's gross is you saying you're going to baste the turkey then turning around and letting Edward stuff your bird." Grabbing the full bottle of wine, she looks at me pointedly, smirks then wordlessly turns and joins the others in the living room.

Speechless, I return the turkey to the oven and stand by the fridge wondering what the hell just happened.

"You okay, babe?" Edward asks, opening the refrigerator door and taking out a can of Coke.

I nod slowly. "Yeah... I think Rose just called me a turkey."

"What?"

"Er, never mind. So is it safe to go in there? 'Cause I can start setting the table and keep avoiding the awkward stares if I have to." I bury my face in his shirt and breathe him in, trying to gain strength from his mere presence.

"It's fine, Bella. Apparently people don't pay much attention to Emmett's innuendo," he explains while rubbing his hand up and down my back soothingly.

"I should know this, right?"

He kisses the top of my head. "Yeah, you should."

…

Edward was right, apart from the occasional snicker and inappropriate comment about stuffing, everything seems normal.

Both of our fathers are in their game-watching bubble, occasionally yelling at the television, and momentarily surprising us with their loud cheers.

Emmett and Rose are also enclosed in their little bubble, once in a while snickering and looking at me. I'm thinking someone has something up their sleeve and I'm probably not gonna like it.

Mom and Esme are picking out china patterns and naming Edward's children. Something that makes me cringe slightly because some really big part of me wants to burst their bubble. But then I figure they'll get a clue when I don't end up having any more children. Who am I to ruin their fun?

Edward and I are playing a game of checkers. I'm winning.

"Mom, when are we eating?" Ellie runs down the stairs with Alice hot on her heels, both of them giggling and bouncing around.

I look at the time. "If you girls set the table, I'll go take the turkey out and make the gravy."

The girls whine but oblige while Rose high fives my efforts in making our kids do our work. I stand and make my way toward the kitchen to get the bird ready for dinner. Rose and Emmett then come and help me set out all the dishes on the counter, since the table isn't big enough to accommodate all of us eating as well as all the food.

"Is the gravy in the laundry room, Bella?" Emmett asks lowly, his mouth is right near my ear and I smack his arm playfully when I see the wide smile gracing his lips.

"Shut up, Emmett," I seethe, knowing he's just being himself.

"What? It's an honest question." He shrugs. "Oh and the stuffing? Does Edward make good stuffing?"

I feel my skin heat up and anger rise inside of me. I know this is what he wants. It's what he does best. Riling me up and then walking away. Gah, I love him but I hate him sometimes too. "Shut up, Emmett."

"Oh, Bella, there's nothing to be ashamed of. I mean, we were gonna use the laundry room but then it was already occupied by you two lovebirds so we defiled your basement instead." As he says all of this, I'm expecting him to smile or to do something that tells me he's kidding, but he's clearly serious.

"What is it with you and basements?" I shake my head and stare at him, waiting for him to answer.

"Oh, you know about that, huh?" He smiles brightly, like he's all proud of himself. "See, it's completely normal. Don't be such a prude, Bella."

I gasp. "I'm not a prude."

"Then stop denying being stuffed ten ways to Sunday while your entire family was out here." Grinning, he wiggles his brow, and moves away from me quickly, swiftly avoiding the slap to the back of the head I was going to give him.

"Stop hitting my husband," Rose says while placing the salad and potatoes on the kitchen island. "And Emmett, if you're nice, you'll get your turn in the laundry room later, okay?"

I visibly shudder, exaggerating my movements and eye them both skeptically. "Really?"

Rose shrugs. "Why not? It sounded like you were having fun in there." She smirks and I gasp.

"You heard us?" I ask a little too loudly and clamp my hand over my mouth.

Rose comes closer to me smiling, and whispers, "Don't worry, I wouldn't have heard a thing if it weren't for the fact that my ear was pressed to the door. When we came back upstairs and noticed you weren't out of there yet, that's when I knocked."

"So wait... you wanted to hear us having sex?" I whisper, trying to keep this conversation away from any prying ears.

"No, the door was closed and locked. I was listening because I was afraid you were fighting or something. By the way," she whispers, "I'm glad he... takes care of you." She wiggles her eyebrows and shrugs.

"Make sure you wash your hands thoroughly, Bella," Emmett bellows from the other side of the kitchen.

I look up at him and smirk. "Yup, right after I go get the secret ingredient I saved in the laundry room."

Blanching slightly, Emmett recovers quickly and grins. "Oh Bella, do you mean that same cream I used for the _cock_tail salad?"

I shudder visibly, but smile. "Touché, Emmett. Touché."

…

After that good round of banter with Emmett, in which I'm finally able to go toe-to-toe with him for the first time since I've known him, we all settle down for dinner.

Dad and Carlisle are each seated at the two heads of the table with everyone else scattered on either side.

This is nice. So lovely to see everyone reunited like this. The chatter going on around me feels good and familiar. There's laughing and whispering, along with some quiet giggles and loud chatter. The warmth emanating from the way our families blend seamlessly together makes my eyes misty and brings the biggest, cheesiest grin to my face.

"Are you alright, baby?" Edward asks, leaning into my personal space and rubbing his nose along the column of my neck.

"Yeah… this is... this is wonderful."

Dad clears his throat and stands, gathering everyone's attention. "So as you all know, this year has been… very... difficult for our family. I'm blessed to be able to stand here amongst you, and I'd like you all to know how… truly grateful I am to be here." Dad stammers his words slightly as a single tear breaks free and rolls down his cheek. "Renee, Rose, Bella… you girls have given me a wonderful life full of great memories, and I plan on sticking around for many more."

He clears his throat and takes a deep breath, wiping away at his cheeks. "It's tradition for us to go around the table and say what we are most thankful for, and I guess for me, I'm thankful to have each and every one of you in my life. Edward, Carlisle, Esme… Thank you for being here to celebrate this holiday with us and I hope to see you again for many years to come." He sits down and takes a drink of water, lovingly looking over his glass as Mom pats his hand softly.

Mom sniffles and stands up. "Thank you, dear, that was wonderful. I guess this year I'm grateful to still have my husband with me. He's been my best friend my entire life and I can't imagine not having him around. I'm also grateful to see my children so happy," she says and looks directly at me. "It's been awhile since we've seen Bella smile so much. Thank you, Edward, for bringing my little girl home."

She sits and Rose stands to take her turn. "I'm thankful for Daddy's recovery, for each and every one of you, and also for my own family. Emmett, Alice, thank you for bringing joy into my life."

"You know it, baby," Emmett booms boisterously as he stands. "I'm grateful for all this food and for my little ladies who work diligently at making me the happiest man on earth. I'm glad you're okay Chief, without you, nothing would be the same." He clears his throat and takes a seat, then quickly stands again. "I'm also thankful for Edward. It's about time someone came around who is worthy of Bella, and you, dude, are on top of that list." He grins widely, dimples and all, while Edward's face reddens and his hand squeezes mine gently.

Alice stands and chews her lip for a moment. "I'm thankful for Grampie and Jasper… and for Mommy… and Ellie. I'm really glad you moved here, Aunt Bella. I like having Ellie around with me. She's my best friend, you know." She smiles excitedly and sits down.

Next down the row is Carlisle. "I'm thankful for so many things this year. I guess first off, Esme dear, thank you for constantly supporting me. I've decided to retire next year and we're going to be selling the house in Seattle and travelling. Being a doctor has provided us with a certain lifestyle, but I've been so busy over the years that we've hardly enjoyed ourselves. Edward, I'm so proud of you son. I've never seen you this happy, and if Bella is the reason for this, well moving to this little town was worth it. Thank you, Bella, and I certainly hope he doesn't let you slip from his grasp. The two of you seem to be very well matched." He takes a deep breath and smiles. "I'm thankful to be amongst you all today, being part of your family is truly an honor."

With a nod, he sits and takes Esme's hand. She stands quickly and wipes a few stray tears from her face. "With Edward's move to this small town came a lot of worries on my part. He's my only child and I know the kind of hurt he's been through these last few years. Speaking to him and seeing him this happy, I'm thankful that he met you, Bella. I don't think I've ever seen him like this, as a mother, I couldn't ask for better. Thank you, for welcoming us into your home and for being so gracious as to share this holiday with you all. It means a lot to us."

I wipe the tears from my own cheeks and give her a gentle smile. Gah, these people and their speeches are going to make me bawl.

Sitting next to Esme is Ellie. She stands, excited, a look of pure mischief in her eyes. "So, I'm thankful this year that Grampie is okay. I'm also grateful that Mom smiles more. I'm grateful that Alice is here, 'cause I love her and missed her when I lived in Cali." She looks around and continues. "I'm grateful that I'm not failing English." She side eyes Edward and giggles, making the whole table break out in laughter. "And I'm grateful that Mom seems to like it here because I like it here and I don't want to move away."

She sits and not-so-gracefully elbows Edward. "Your turn,_ Mr. Cullen_."

Edward chuckles and clears his throat as he stands. "Well, I have many things to be thankful for this year. Let's see... Mom, Dad, thank you for always supporting my choices, even though they weren't necessarily what you would have done. I know you understand why I had to do what I did." He pauses and turns to me. "Bella, I'm thankful to have met you, I... I know it hasn't always been easy for either of us, but I feel as though meeting you was kismet. I hope to be here with you," he breaks eye contact with me and looks over at the rest of my family, "all of you, for a very long time to come." He then turns to Ellie, a smile playing on his lips. "Even if I do end up failing you in English, hopefully you'll forgive me."

His words warm my heart deeply as a smile tugs at my lips. I can't help it, he just says these things, simple yet thoughtful, that make me swoon.

He sits and my hand automatically goes to his, tightening my grip in silent gesture to thank him for being so kind.

Without letting go of Edward's hand, I stand and look around my dining room table. We're cramped for space as the table is so full with all of our plates, glasses and silverware, but everyone is smiling, laughing and having a good time. This is family. This is my family. These people mean so much to me; there aren't words I can use to describe how I feel that won't make me break out in loud sobs.

"Wow... I'm last, huh? Okay well, I'm thankful for so many things. Most of them have already been said so I'll make this quick." I pause and look at my father. He looks older now than he did only a few months ago. The heart attack has had some lasting effects on him; they're minor, but still there. "I'm thankful to still have you around, Daddy. I don't know what I'd do without you." I take a deep breath and try to blink back the tears, but to no avail, I feel them slide down my cheeks, hot and wet, as I smile at my father. "And to my family, thank you for being there for me. It hasn't always been easy, and I never thought in a million years that I'd be moving back to Forks, but I'm glad I came back home. You guys are home to me, no matter what."

Leaning over Edward, I catch Ellie's gaze and say, "I'm thankful for my wonderful daughter. She keeps me on my toes, but I love her anyway." This earns everyone's chuckles, including my own as Ellie rolls her eyes and smiles.

Chewing my bottom lip, I nervously turn to Edward, whose eyes shine with nothing but pure, unconditional love for me. "Edward, I'm thankful to have you in my life. I never... I never thought I'd... Oh God, this is..." Blowing out a breath, steadying my breathing and bracing myself, I continue, "I never thought I'd love anyone - except for my daughter, of course - as much as I love you. This thing... I don't know... I'm thankful for what we have. Even when I'm as stubborn as a mule, you've proven to be able to persuade me otherwise and for that I'm very grateful."

I then turn back to everyone, my cheeks flaming red because I've just laid myself bare in front of my entire family, but yet I don't see judgement in any of them. I see love, happiness and very thankful people.

Rose simply smiles and nods knowingly, while Emmett eyes the potato salad and practically salivates.

"Alright everyone, dig in!"

…

"So, Bella, we don't expect Edward to come home tonight," Esme says while drying the dishes. I'm washing them and Mom puts them away. Rose is dishing up leftovers and the girls are cleaning the dining room.

I hand her another plate. "Oh, ehm, I don't know -"

"Bella, please," Esme continues, "we were young once, and besides, Carlisle and I like a little privacy too. The walls in that apartment of his are pretty thin." She giggles and takes a sip from her wine. Obviously she's a little tipsy. Or a lot.

Mom chimes in, "Yeah, the doctor finally gave us the okay. We're going to try to... you know." She chuckles and wiggles her eyebrows, just as Rose drops a large metal serving spoon on the ground making it clank loudly.

"Eww, Mom. That's gross!" Rose's face contorts and I break out in a fit of giggles at her expression.

"Ha, finally something that grosses you out." I point out and hide the shudder running through me. Eww, I'd certainly agree. This whole conversation needs to end, and quickly.

Thankfully, Edward walks into the kitchen rubbing his belly. "That was a wonderful meal, ladies." He wraps his arms around me from behind and kisses my temple. "You need any help?"

"Nah, we're almost done." I smile and cup his cheek lovingly, brushing my thumb across his lips. They're always so soft and I can't wait to be alone with him again. It almost feels like our tryst in the laundry room was weeks ago.

"Alright then, just let me know if you need anything." He drops a sweet kiss to my lips and walks away, leaving me wanting more.

Esme smiles knowingly. "Edward has always been in his own shell. He likes what he likes and doesn't abide by anyone else's standards but his own. He's loyal to a fault and the way he looks at you, Bella, I've never seen him look at anyone that way, not even his ex-wife and they'd been together forever."

Nodding, I can't help but agree with her, and I am thankful for that as well.

* * *

**Wow! yeah, I know... lots to be thankful for!**

**I'm thankful that you guys are still reading. **

**I'm also thankful for all your wonderful words. They humble me, really! :o)**

**I'm thankful that Midnight Cougar was able to step in and beta this chapter as Bel is taking care of herself. That being said, I'm going to need a permanent beta for this one as MC is super busy... PM me if interested *bats lashes* please?**

**xox**

**Missy**


	21. Chapter 21

21.

After Thanksgiving, my relationship with Edward goes from being on the precipice of something great to being absolutely perfect.

We find a certain rhythm in our lives. We've never really discussed our living arrangements, but it seems as though whatever transpired on Thanksgiving has opened the floodgates to acceptance into whatever it was we were doing.

I stopped wondering when the other shoe was going to drop and just let things progress naturally. It seemed as though Edward had also gone through the same sort of epiphany and slowly put forth motions to make things happen.

Which brings us to now.

I've just told Ellie that Edward would be moving in. Permanently. As in he needs to be moved out of his apartment by the end of December

"And you're okay with this?" I think I've already asked her about a million times, but it seems as though Ellie is surprising me once again.

"Yes," she huffs. "It's not like he doesn't already sleep over every night, Mom. It doesn't matter to me. He's nice and he makes you happy. You're... more fun to be around now. You seem happier than you were even last year. So, yeah, it's fine, Mom, really."

"He'll move in while you guys have your Christmas break, which means you won't be home though. That's okay, too?" I take a drink from my coffee, thankful that it's still lukewarm. Nerves be damned, but I needed to have this serious conversation with her and there's nothing that says "sit down and listen" like caffeine and sugary treats at the diner.

"That's okay. Just don't mess up my room. No boys allowed, and he _is _a boy." She adamant in her tone and the way she speaks to me, like she's my equal, well, it makes me smile.

She's always felt like an old soul. Even as a little girl, she would have these long drawn out existential conversations about her dolls and where they came from. I remember explaining to her why her Cabbage Patch Dolls all had that stamp on their bottoms, and she'd simply replied that it was because they were all related, like brothers and sisters. It was a sweet and thought out answer that came out of the mouth of a five year old.

I know she's not my equal, and so does she. She listens when I tell her she's not allowed to do certain things and I listen when she wants to discuss personal issues. I'm just thankful she's not one of those hormonally driven teenagers that have temper tantrums and yelling fits.

I guess though, since she's only fourteen, time will tell. Maybe once fifteen comes around I'll be wishing for more days like these. Maybe not. I don't know.

But I do know that she's leaving in a week to go to Alec's. I'm nervous because it feels like we're experiencing about fifteen million changes within a very short period of time, and if I'm being honest, I don't deal too well with change.

I guess I've been rolling with the punches a lot in the last few years and I need to keep rolling, but damn... it's still all a lot to take in.

"We're not gonna mess with your room, honey," I reassure her and squeeze her hand, while she smothers her ice cream onto her pie.

"Yeah, okay. Where's Edward gonna keep all his stuff? He has a lot of stuff." She nods; her eyes wide as she says this and I chuckle because I know what she means.

His place is very clean and orderly, but behind those closed cabinet doors, are a bunch of books, DVDs, memorabilia and a whole lot of things that we'll just have duplicates of. This is what happens when you merge two independent people together. You end up with a whole lot of the same things, especially when you share some of the same preferences as Edward and I do.

"Some things will go to Goodwill, other things we'll store in the basement." She nods in understanding and approval, simply knowing that our basement is fairly empty. "For now that's all we can do. Thankfully, he found someone who will buy a few pieces of furniture, so he won't be bringing them over. Just expect a little redecoration when you come back, that's all."

I relax a little knowing that this is all it is. It's redecorating, rearranging and making room for someone else in our lives. It's kind of a metaphor for what we've been doing within ourselves.

Like how I've made myself over - although I didn't stick with the entire different look - I haven't reverted back to extra baggy clothes and a frumpy hairstyle. I've let Edward see who I really am, and most importantly I've let him in; bringing down those damn walls that seem to have built up all around me without my consent.

Edward has also gone through a lot and I know he's taken great steps in trusting me fully. My little breakdown over Dad's illness took us back a few steps, yet without it, I wouldn't have been able to rationalize having him in my life, which means I probably wouldn't appreciate him as much as I do.

"Daddy says he's got all sorts of plans. He wants to take me sightseeing. Kate is... Kate is sad a lot." She whispers the last part. I know Kate hasn't been doing too well, as of late. Some of the anti-depressants have had some rather nasty side effects; Ellie says she looks weird. She's gained weight and looks extremely tired.

It saddens me deeply, but then part of me feels as though it's karma. I don't like that I think this way, but yet I can't help it. I mean she did inadvertently help to destroy my marriage, I think it's only natural for me to feel some sort of residual hard feelings.

"I know, honey. Just remember to let your father know if you want to come home early. There's no shame in that, and you know I'd love it if you were with me for Christmas. But I understand you want to see your dad, and I'm okay with that." I have to swallow back the lump in my throat. Truth is, I'd much rather she stays home, but in situations like these we can't have everything we want. Alec and I have an agreement, and I have to stick to it, plus I know he really needs her right now.

Simple as that.

And I refuse to guilt my daughter into wanting to stay with me. She loves him and I understand that they need this time together. It's a small sacrifice on my part, and I'll be rewarded with a few months of reprieve where she'll be staying home with me.

She rolls her eyes and huffs. "I'd rather be here too, but I miss Daddy and I think it'll help Kate if I'm there to do stuff with her. She wants to take me shopping, and as much as I'd rather spoon out my eyeballs with a rusty utensil, I'll do it for her."

I giggle and wrap my arms around her, kissing the top of her head. "You're the best daughter anyone could ever have, do you know that?"

She nods against my chest. "Yeah, yeah, Mom."

And I just know she's rolling her eyes at me.

…

The drive to the airport is long. Especially, since I don't want to let her go. I'll miss her and the thought that I won't see her for close to two full weeks is breaking my heart.

I've never been away from her for that long.

I'm reminded that she is fourteen. She's a teenager. Letting her go now is hard, but in a few years when she applies for college and goes off to live hundreds of miles away, it'll be even harder.

Edward comes along to keep me company on the way back and holds my hand the entire way there; offering me a quiet strength.

I help Ellie with her boarding pass and we get in line to get her bags checked and everything done at the ticket counter. They delegate a flight attendant to watch over Ellie, since she is flying alone and still considered a child. I'm thankful for that. And I make sure she has her phone and money so she can at least call when they land. No excuses.

I walk with her all the way to the gate and wait until they call for her plane to board. I hug her tight and squeeze her until she whimpers and tells me to stop.

Tears fall freely as I watch her and the flight attendant walk off and into that never ending hallway that leads to the plane.

Strong arms wrap around me and anchor me comfortingly as the plane takes off. I watch it soar and fly, until it becomes a tiny blip in the sky and then disappears completely.

Edward holds me tight to his chest while I cry until there are no more tears. He kisses the top of my head and shushes me, soothing his hand up and down my back.

She's gone and I'm alone. Those are the feelings coursing through me. I'm alone in a sea full of people. Edward is here, yet I'm falling apart because she's not.

He's doing his best to hold me together, for that I am grateful. I'm not sure I'd still be standing on my two feet if he weren't here with me.

After what feels like hours, but was really only fifteen or twenty minutes, my body is numb, tears have ebbed, and I think I'm fully cried out.

Edward's face holds nothing but understanding as he kisses my forehead and wipes my tears with his thumbs. He even hands me a tissue and helps to wipe my nose. It's gross but comforting. I like the comfort, it soothes me fully and I'm overwhelmed with all these emotions.

A shiver runs through me as I start to take in my surroundings again. We're in a secluded corner away from prying eyes. I hadn't realized that we'd even moved. People mill around us, not even giving us a second look. I guess scenes like this in a busy airport over the holidays must happen more often than I thought.

"Are you ready to go home?" Edward's voice is warm, soothing.

I nod and he takes my hand in his. Home. It's what he calls my house and this makes my heart flutter once again, but in a good way.

…

I wake to the smell of bacon wafting up from the kitchen. My stomach growls in anticipation.

I didn't have dinner last night, opting to stay in bed and just take it all in. Ellie is growing up quickly. I'm happy about everything she is going to experience, I'm sad that I can't be there with her. I'm sad that the life I had planned out when she was little won't happen. That I can't be there with her and Alec. But then, I don't want to be there with Alec.

It's all so conflicting and it seems like my crying binge comes to an end when I finally realize that I've moved on…with Edward.

And that there are positives to having the house to ourselves.

Last night, Edward held me and told stories about the times he went away as a child. How his mother used to fuss over him endlessly. I laughed when he told me about the time he spent four weeks at summer camp and how his mother had sent him a batch of fresh cookies every other day while he was there.

He was such a momma's boy.

I love him and made sure to show him in actions just how much I love him and want him to be here. So many positives to an empty house.

And today is a big day. Christmas Eve is tomorrow and we're taking things easy, but today we're moving as much of his things into the house as we can. This way, we can unpack and settle in as time goes by without bothering anyone else's holidays.

Emmett, Rose and Alice left for Phoenix yesterday. Emmett's parents live there and it was their turn to visit. Since they'd spent Thanksgiving here, it was only fair to go there for Christmas. They'll be back for Mom's New Year's dinner.

Mom has insisted on having a quiet Christmas with just her and Dad. He's feeling better and since Ellie and Alice aren't around, Mom feels as though this year they can just take a break and not fuss over anything. I can't say I blame them, with everything that's happened in the last few months, they deserve some quiet time. And let's face it, Christmas is about the kids, without them there, there's not much to celebrate.

Edward's parents are away on a cruise and won't be around until New Year's. I thought it strange, but Esme reassured me that they only booked it after Thanksgiving. She said she wanted to give us time together and felt reassured that Edward was in good hands with me.

I'm pretty sure everyone has conspired to let Edward and I have some naked, alone time. You'd swear they'd all worked it out together.

Either that or it's all wishful thinking on my part.

My stomach growls again, reminding me that I'm still in bed, while Edward is somewhere downstairs cooking for me.

Slipping on my robe, I quickly dash to the bathroom and have a quick shower; foregoing washing my hair since that usually takes a lot of time. I'll just end up sweaty and gross in a few hours anyway.

I get dressed hastily, pulling on sweats and a ratty t-shirt. There's really no point in looking all dolled up when Edward and a few movers are emptying his place and the people who bought his furniture are showing up to pick it up. I'll be there to serve as his cleaning wench. I'd rather clean up the place and leave it spotless, than lug around large boxes.

Making my way down the stairs, I'm rewarded with a pretty nice view in the kitchen. Edward is plating up our eggs and buttering the toast.

"Hey, baby." I wrap my arms around him from behind and press my cheek against his back. He smells so good, like summer and lilac fabric softener and Edward. I love it.

He turns in my arms and wraps his around my shoulders, holding me in his embrace until my belly makes more embarrassing sounds.

"I guess my plan to have breakfast in bed has failed." His voice is teasing and sweet.

"Yeah... My stomach led me to the food. It seems to have a mind of its own sometimes." I shrug and take my plate from the counter. He likes his eggs over easy while I like mine scrambled, it's easy to tell which plate is mine.

"So, you're feeling better?" He takes his plate and we sit together at the kitchen island.

"Yeah, I'm sorry about yesterday. I didn't think I'd lose my shit like that. I'm... I'm glad you're here, Edward. Really, I can't... thank you enough." My smile falters briefly, but I take a deep breath and get myself in check.

Shoving some food into my mouth and moaning as the flavors hit my tongue is a great distraction. These eggs are the best I've eaten. I must be starving if this is what's going through my mind.

He rubs my back soothingly with his left hand, while he takes a forkful of eggs into his mouth.

After chewing and swallowing, he hugs me to his side and kisses my cheek. "That's what I'm here for, Bella."

We eat our eggs, bacon and toast, and get through the rest of breakfast without too much more fanfare.

This is rather nice, but there is something missing. Ellie.

Her phone call last night reassured me that she's fine. She's with her father and they are okay. There weren't any issues with the flight, and she got there safe and sound.

So much for my overreaction.

I still miss her presence though. It's just not the same.

…

Six hours later, I'm ready to call it quits. The buyers have picked up their stuff. The movers have loaded all the big items as well as the boxes into the moving truck, and the house is empty.

Thankfully, Edward wasn't too much of a pig.

Aside from the dust where the beds and furniture were located, the floors aren't too bad.

He wasn't home much to dirty up the kitchen and appliances, so a quick swipe inside the fridge clears it of random crumbs and a few drops of orange juice that seemed to have dried on the shelf. The oven is pristine and Edward admits that he didn't use it much. I believe it wholly. He doesn't cook much, but what he makes is pretty good.

I make sure to clean the bathrooms thoroughly though, even if Edward wasn't home much, those need a good clean regardless.

When I get home, Edward is directing the movers as to where he needs to boxes. They have unloaded all of the larger furniture and in spite of all my reservations, his stuff makes my stuff look good. Our styles complement each other and it actually works. Esme had given me a few pointers and she was right. Our living room looks nice. A little sparse since a lot of the accessories are in boxes, but still, I can see that everything is going to be okay.

I take a deep breath and exhale slowly, letting that thought seep in.

_It's going to be okay..._

The movers bring the last of the boxes to the basement and Edward sees them out as I survey the rest of the house.

Our bedroom now looks like _our _bedroom. No longer is it mine. Adding his furniture to mine, making it an eclectic mesh, brings it together. Like the living room, it's now _ours_.

He kisses the top of my head and presses his front to my back, wrapping his arms tightly around me. "What are you thinking?"

I'm still standing in the door to our room and looking in. "I'm thinking this is good. Very good."

"Care to shower with me and test it all out?" His voice is low, gravely, right next to my ear.

I melt into him. "Hmm, I don't think I could say no to such a nice offer."

* * *

**You guys... Thank you! I swear, I have the best readers. I've been a complete fail at review replies, but please know I love every word you leave me. If you have questions that I can answer without giving anything away, I try to answer them.**

**Midnight Cougar has graciously sprinkled her beta dust all over this chapter, it reads much better than it did before. Trust me, I had a lot of negative feelings about it. I'm not even gonna tell you what Joey thought of this chapter. O.O**

**Much love,**

**xox**

**Missy**


	22. Chapter 22

22.

On Christmas Eve, I'm usually rewarded with a bubbly child that runs around and begs to open at least one gift. I usually say no, but end up relenting somewhere around dinner time. It's our thing. Has been ever since Ellie was a tiny, little thing in pink ruffles and bunny slippers.

This morning, I'm rewarded with a mind blowing orgasm that leaves me panting and boneless as Edward holds me against him and tucks the heavy blankets around us.

"And a very Merry Christmas to you too, baby." I melt into him and close my eyes. I can't help it. Not one muscle is currently functional.

He kisses that spot down my neck, under my ear and nuzzles his face in my hair. "Hmm, can we stay in bed all day?"

"I think that can be arranged." And it can. We have nothing planned. Nothing. No cooking. No family gatherings. The house isn't even decorated. I sigh. "Although, I kinda miss the smell of pine in the house."

"You wanna go get a tree?" He sounds all excited at the prospect of getting a small tree, and picking it out with him sounds like fun. We hadn't bothered with decorations knowing full well that with the moving and Ellie's absence it would be pointless, yet it's just... It's not really working for me.

"Definitely. I want us to get a tree." I roll over and look up at Edward. His face is... he's grinning from ear to ear and completely beautiful in all of his post-coital dishevelled state.

He kisses me deeply and when he pulls away, yeah, that face, that smile... so worth everything. "I love you so much, Edward."

His eyes bore into mine; light green, full of life. "I love you, too. Now, if we don't want to end up with a Charlie Brown tree-"

"Yeah, yeah... we gotta get up," I finish, rolling my eyes. He grins and my whole body goes rigid. "No... no... Edward, don't..."

"Come here." He lunges for me, but I manage to take off running down the hall. His long, skilled fingers are brutal torturing devices when used in the powers of tickling.

"Edward, don't," I screech when I see him take long strides toward me. I don't want to go downstairs in my state of undress seeing as the curtains are most likely open. It's around ten thirty on Christmas Eve, and I'm pretty sure the neighbors are still up. There's no way in hell I'm letting old Mr. Johnson see my naked ass.

I press my back against the wall and close my eyes, waiting for the assault to begin; only it doesn't. Edward softly ghosts his fingers down my arms, making my skin break out in goosebumps. My flesh tingles under his touch, and while all he's doing is grazing my skin from my wrist to my shoulder, I find it highly arousing.

My nipples harden and my breathing picks up. I'm anticipating something else to happen and refuse to open my eyes, but he stops abruptly and his footsteps retreat.

"Edward?" I blink a few times and look around. He's leaning against our bedroom door, arms crossed over his chest and legs crossed over his ankles.

And he's naked.

Jesus.

"What are you doing?" I'm still naked too and damn, now I sort of want round... four? Or is it five?

"Watching you," he shrugs and turns to walk inside our room.

I watch his butt cheeks for a few moments before breaking out of my haze and taking a few steps forward. I come up behind him and wrap my arms around his waist, fully intent on making his one-eyed snake my bitch, once again.

Peppering kisses over his shoulders, I mumble, "I'm not that interesting."

"To me you are, Bella." He turns around and holds me against him. "You're everything, you know that, right?" He stares intently in my eyes, letting me know how much he means those words. I look away, and bite my lip. I've been an emotional mess all week and if he doesn't quit it, I'm going to cry. "Now, how about we get that tree, and then we set it up and close some curtains." He waggles his eyebrows.

I nod and smile. "I think I like that plan."

…

"This one."

"It's too big, and it's got a brown spot up there."

"How about this one?"

"Hmm, that side is all flat. Crap, how come all the good trees are gone?" I stomp my foot like a petulant child, and Edward just chuckles and shakes his head.

We've looked at the entire lot. Not one tree seems... fitting.

"Baby, it is Christmas Eve. Most people have their trees already." He wraps his arms around me and kisses my cheek. "Now, come on, let's go look at those ones," he points behind me, "I'm sure there's one in here that'll do the trick."

He takes my hand and I huff, following him down a lane full of crooked and brittle looking trees.

"Ha! I know you'll like this one, Bella." I'm not even looking at him because to my left is _the _perfect tree.

"This one."

"This one?"

"Yeah, I want this one." It's settled. It's perfect.

"But... it's so small," he confirms walking over to the tree... and yeah, it's small. It's about as tall as I am which means that Edward towers over it.

"But look, all the needles are green, and it'll be easy to set up," I argue. He smirks making me roll my eyes. "Yeah, okay, you were right, we found one."

"There. That wasn't so hard." He grabs the tree by the base and easily brings it to the sales counter.

Edward pays for it and the salesman, Ben, wraps it in plastic mesh.

He refuses my help with the tree while he lugs it to the car. "You realize this tree is the first thing we bought together."

"The first of many, Bella." He smacks my butt with his free hand and laughs when I try to do the same thing but fail. Setting the tree by the car, he catches both my hands with his and pulls me into a hug. "This was fun. Are you sure you have enough decorations?"

"Yeah, there are a few boxes in the basement. Most are things Ellie's made through the years. I'm sure there's plenty for this little guy." I nod to the tree. "He is kinda small, huh?"

"A little. But it's just the two of us, there aren't that many gifts."

"Yeah, Ellie already got her gift. I can't believe she conned me into that iPhone."

"Well, Mommy," Edward mimics her voice. "Without my own phone, how do you want me to call you from Daddy's?"

"Stop it," I giggle. "I wasn't _that _easy."

"Er, yeah you were. That girl played you like a fiddle."

"Oh well, she loves it and it was an easy gift, considering everything. She's fourteen and kind of over the excitement anyway." I shrug and a pang of sadness passes over me. Even if Ellie would have been around, it wouldn't have been like it used to be. She's a kid but... "Huh... she's growing up, isn't she?"

"You just realizing that, babe?" Edward's tying the tree to the top of the car, while I'm mentally debating the 'what ifs' of having a teenage daughter.

"I just... Yeah, I guess. I mean... when did she turn fourteen?" I ponder, handing him one of the ropes and helping a little while he huffs and grunts. It's all kinds of sexy watching him being all handsy with the roof rack and rope.

Not to mention that every time he lifts his arms over his head, I get a good view of his trim belly and that little trail of hair that leads to...

"Bella?"

"What?" My eyes shoot up to meet his. Damn, that smirk.

"Ehmm, I think we're done." He shakes his head and winks knowingly.

Dumbfounded, I nod. "Oh... Oh right... Sorry."

He leans over me and whispers, "Yeah... Eyeing the goods were you?"

My mouth falls and my cheeks heat up. "Was not."

I take a step back from him because if I don't I'm afraid I may just kiss him stupid in the middle of the tree lot parking area.

His lips turn up in the corner and he stalks toward me in two short steps. "You sure about that?"

I take another step back. "Yeah... Oh God, not again." I giggle and make a run for the passenger side of the car, but Edward catches me before I can open the door.

And he kisses me until I'm breathless, with his body flush against mine, and my back pressed up against the side of the car.

…

We've managed to set up the tree in a corner in the living room. The soft white lights make the room glow, and it finally feels like Christmas.

"I'm never _not _doing a tree," I muse while hanging the last ornament. I'm on my knees and the poor little thing is only a few feet taller than me. It's probably the smallest tree I've ever had, but I love it. It livens up the place and takes some of the melancholy away.

Once we got the tree settled, I was able to show Edward which boxes to bring upstairs. At times like these, having a man around the house comes in handy.

"This is nice, Bella. Did Ellie make all these?" Edward points to a few of the little painted stars.

"We did those last year." I point to some small badly painted ceramic ice skates. "Those were from a few years ago. We usually make at least one new one every year. I guess we won't do that this year." I frown and stand in front of the tree, a wave of sadness overtaking me as I think of Ellie and the fact that she's not here.

Edward wraps his arm around me from behind. "Maybe _we _can make something?"

I turn and lean into him, smiling. "Seriously? You'd do this with me?"

He shrugs. "Why not? I want to be part of your traditions, Bella. If it involves painting little stars, I'm going to paint a star." He kisses my nose. "But I get to pick the color."

"I keep the craft supplies in Ellie's closet. Let's go see what's in there." I take his hand in mine and we act like two little kids as we run up the stairs and into Ellie's closet.

She's gonna want to kill me for going in her room… especially with Edward. Oh well, the fact that I was able to find cardboard, scissors, and glitter, are well worth it.

Watching Edward go all _Martha Stewart_ over a three dimensional cardboard ornament is really sexy.

I never thought it would be, but dammit...

"Stop watching me, Bella. I'm a teacher, remember? I've taught third grade art classes before." He smirks and draws a thin line of glue on the edges of his star, then sprinkles glitter over it making it look phenomenal, while mine looks like... well, it looks like something a third grader would have made.

"You look sexy all focused and stuff." The coffee table is littered with colorful glitter and my butt is getting numb from sitting on the floor, but this is so nice; I sort of don't want the day to end.

"You look sexy too, baby. Especially with glitter on your nose." He leans forward and brushes the glitter away.

I grab his hand and pull myself toward him, kissing his lips chastely. "Never as sexy as you." I wipe some glitter off his chest. "We're all sparkly." I giggle, thinking of those dirty stories I read.

They _are _based on those sparkly vampire books so...

"And you're laughing at me because...?" he asks, smirking knowingly.

We've been drinking a little wine, and apparently it makes me want him more than I usually do. Which says a lot, 'cause I want him all the time.

And it also makes my brain filter non-functional, apparently.

"You're all sparkly," I state matter-of-factly. "You know, like that sexy guy in those movies."

I stand and take our glittery ornaments to the tree. The glue is partially dried already, and I figure they can finish drying while they hang.

When I turn, Edward is eyeing me hungrily, biting his bottom lip, his fingers drumming the top of the coffee table absently.

He looks so good, sitting on the floor, relaxed with his ankles crossed and his arm leaning on the coffee table. He just belongs here, in this room. In my house. In my life. He belongs with me… in our home.

"What?" I smile nervously.

I kind of really like the way he's looking at me.

"Your ass looks really good in those jeans," he muses, his voice husky and low.

And those words... I love it when he's like this; wanting me and looking at me like I'm something he wants to eat.

"Oh God," I whisper, thinking that yeah... Edward and his tongue. Yes please, and thank you.

"Come here." He holds out his arms and I take his invitation and join him on the floor.

I straddle his thighs and wrap my arms around his neck. "Did you have anything in mind?"

Of course he does. He has that look in his eyes. That same look that convinced me to let him baste my turkey in the laundry room over Thanksgiving weekend, while our parents were twenty feet away.

He smirks and leans in to kiss me softly and I melt into him, kissing him back, giving as much as I'm taking.

I can't even count anymore how many times we've been together, but it feels like every time is special and different. Edward brings out this insatiable sex goddess that's been hiding away inside me for the last thirty-five years, and reading dirty stories to get her fill of what she's really after.

He fulfils this longing inside me that nobody else has ever been able to satisfy and bring out.

I never believed in soul mates until I met him, but the more time we spend together, the more crises we plow through together, the more I find myself thinking that the path I was given in life was the path I was meant to follow in order to bring me to him.

We would not be the people we are now if neither of us had been through all the obstacles that have made us who we are today.

Edward's hands cupping my ass bring me back to now, and I moan when I feel how hard he is for me.

"This… off," he mumbles into my skin as he skims his fingers along my rib cage, bringing my shirt up and over my head in the process.

I reach behind me and undo my bra, letting it slide off my shoulders as his nimble fingers make their way to my hardened peaks.

"That feels good," I moan as his mouth descends down my throat and his lips latch on to my left nipple while his hands skim my back, down to my hips, making my skin all goose-pimply.

He's still wearing a shirt, and to be honest that's way too many clothes. For both of us. "Take this off."

"Well, aren't we eager all of a sudden." He grins and reaches behind him to take the damned offending garment off.

I shrug. "Well, if we're going to defile my living room, we may as well do it thoroughly."

"Oh, we're definitely doing this thoroughly." His smug smile makes me gasp.

Before I know what's going on, he's got me by the waist and has me sitting on the coffee table. "Pray this thing holds up," I giggle.

"And what if it doesn't?" He wiggles his eyebrows and fiddles with my fly.

"Then you're going to have to pull all the wood splinters out of my butt," I tell him sternly, but my voice falters when he tugs down my pants and underwear, making me slip off the edge of the table ungracefully and yelp out.

"Shit, I'm sorry, baby. Want me to kiss it and make it better?" He's kneeling in front of the table, positioned between my parted knees and I'm stark naked.

I know _what _I want him to kiss, but I can't bring myself to say _that _out loud. Instead, I lean forward and kiss his lips, hoping to distract him into doing something - anything - to my body.

Edward never disappoints though, with his lips making their descent down my body, I lean back on my elbows and watch as he kisses my mound and flicks his tongue over my swollen flesh.

Which reminds me about that Thank You card I have to send his ex-wife. Seriously, she trained him well in that department.

Edward's tongue does its magic and I can't watch as much as I'd like as I get lost in the feeling of his mouth on me. I fall back onto the table, not caring whether or not it'll support me.

My entire body is lit up, ignited by what he's doing and before I know it, I'm wound up so tight, I'm begging; pleading for release. "Please don't stop," I pant, and cry and oh God, this feels amazing. I want it... badly. It's right there, just out of reach.

Climbing, climbing, higher and higher and when I think it's never going to happen, Edward does this thing with his fingers and his tongue and I fall hard, gasping for breath and calling out to God and Edward and all the other Deities I can think of.

I feel his lips on my inner thigh, kissing my skin as I struggle with my breathing and try to figure out how I'm even going to use my legs to walk, let alone reciprocate.

Boneless isn't just a term, it actually happens, I swear.

"Holy shit..." I raise myself on my elbows and smile lazily. "Every time... I don't know how you do that..."

He shrugs. "It's a gift."

"Well, it's a very good gift. Now how about we take those pants off and free the monster." I wiggle my eyebrows, but I probably look like an idiot since I'm still in my post-orgasmic, lazy, blissed out state.

"Free the monster, huh?"

I shrug. "Yeah, why not? It's big and hard and likes to probe me." My skin heats up and I'm probably as red as a tomato after uttering those few provocative words, but by the feral look in Edward's eyes, he likes it. A lot.

I chew my lip as I undo his button-fly, but apparently I'm not quick enough as Edward has other plans. "This is probably going to be quick, Bella. I can't go slow when you say stuff like that."

He stands and makes quick work of stripping from his jeans, stumbling and sliding them off of his feet until he's completely naked before me.

I reach for him but he stops my hand, kissing my palm before I can even touch him. "Not now, I'm too wound up... you have no idea." His words are stunted and his breathing is ragged as he kneels in the same spot he was before. He pulls me forward, making my ass do some nasty sticky noises as it rubs on top of the table, until we're lined up.

I'm wet, glistening for him as he rubs his cock up and down my slit, coating himself with my wetness. The sight of him slowly, torturously, entering me is something I'll never get used to seeing. It's erotic and downright dirty. Or at least it is for me.

This is the kind of thing I've never had before. Sex with Edward is always new and feels so good and so right. The connection we share, both physically and emotionally, is like nothing I ever experienced in my previous relationship.

I watch as he disappears inside me and pulls out, shimmering with my wetness. At least we didn't get any of the sparkles stuck to his dick. I have a sneaking suspicion that most of it is stuck to my butt, but I don't care because Edward is holding my hips and thrusting deeper and deeper inside me. I'm pretty sure his cock is branding my insides as his.

He's moaning and panting and his mouth is latched on to my nipple and he tells me sweet things like he loves me and wants this forever. I lose myself in the feel of him once again as another orgasm builds and builds until I can't take it anymore and I buck my hips, meeting his every thrust trying desperately to just get there and get him there.

No other sounds can be heard in the living room except for our grunts and skin slapping against skin.

It's intense and carnal and all-consuming lust.

And when we both spiral into our simultaneous bliss, it's like everything just falls together as we fall apart, panting and sweaty and completely sated.

"Christ..."

"Yeah..."

"How 'bout we go to bed?"

I nod. "Yeah..."

"Do you need me to carry you?" He chuckles at my lack of movement.

I groan. "Give me a second."

I watch as he stands and stretches, then goes and turns off the Christmas tree lights. The only light left is the soft glow coming from the DVD player. The darn thing has always been a nuisance, lighting up half the living room in the middle of the night, but we've gotten used to it when we turn off all the lights and head to bed.

I finally find my breath and get up, thankful that the table survived our tryst.

"Let's go to bed, sweet girl." Edward takes my hand in his and kisses my temple before leading me up the stairs and to our room.

…

On Christmas morning, we sleep until the birds outside get really annoying.

After a quick shower, we have breakfast and then I tease him about my gift to him.

We hadn't put anything under the tree yesterday, but this morning, when I first get downstairs, I notice a small red box there, nestled front and centre, under the tree. We're the only ones in the house and I don't believe in Santa Claus, so all I can figure is that Edward wants to surprise me.

I'm surprised.

For many reasons.

The box is small.

And square.

And I'm not sure how I feel about that.

I feel his arms around me, wrapping me up in his warmth. I can't tear my eyes away from the tree. "Are we doing our gift exchange now?" My voice cracks a little. I hope those are earrings in there. Or not. Crap.

Crap.

Crap.

"Don't freak out, Bella." Edward's voice soothes me as he pushes me forward into the living room so we can have a seat.

"I'm not freaking out... Who's freaking out? It's not me. Here, I got you something." I hand him the small box I'd been hiding by the sofa.

He opens his gift and as expected he loves it. A first edition of Bram Stoker's _Dracula_. He loves that book and when I saw this on e-Bay, it had _him _written all over it.

"This is awesome, Bella. Thank you, baby, I love it." He smiles and kisses me sweetly.

I'm nervous as hell and I'm struggling not to ramble on and make this even more awkward.

"Okay, so don't freak out. Please." He hands me the small box and I open it, smiling when I see what's inside.

"This is beautiful," I whisper, emotions welling up inside me, tears threatening to spill over.

"You like it?" I wipe the tears from my cheeks and I look up at him, unable to understand how amazing he is and how lucky I am.

"I love it." And I do. It's perfect.

The small oval locket has a heart engraved on it with the words "My heart is yours." Inside is a picture of Ellie on one side and on the other is a picture of the three of us that my parents took on Thanksgiving.

I can't believe how thoughtful this is; I will treasure it always. "It's amazing, Edward."

I lunge at him and hug him tightly as tears spill over. I was worried about him asking me to marry him, and part of me is grateful that he didn't, but that other part of me, sort of wants it.

"Alright, let's go call Ellie. I think it's time you two had that Skype session, yeah?" He kisses the top of my head and I sniffle and nod.

After a few moments, I kiss him and thank him again for how wonderful and thoughtful he is, and for making our first Christmas together so memorable.

When I see Ellie's face on the computer screen, it's like everything comes together. The three of us talk for a bit, then Edward makes an excuse to leave. Ellie seems happy and relaxed. She says she misses me, but she's having a good time with her father. Kate is doing better, it seems as though having Ellie there is good for her.

She's going to come home soon and that is what I keep in the back of my mind when I end the call. It's all that keeps me going. I hope I'm not this kind of a mess when she goes off to college.

Seriously, I need to stop struggling with this. It may all be due to the fact that I'm going through a lot of changes lately. Or it could be PMS. Either way, I need to get a grip.

By the time I go downstairs to join Edward, he's sitting at the dinner table, reading the paper and eating a sandwich.

"I made you lunch," he says and nods to the plate on other side of him.

I wrap my arms around his neck and kiss his cheek. "Thank you."

I'm thanking him for so many things. Lunch being only a small part of it.

He's making my life so... so much better, less ordinary, and worth enjoying. I'm thanking him for sharing his life with me. I'm thanking him for being with me… heart and soul.

And most of all, I'm thanking him for loving me.

* * *

**And there we have it, Christmas. I should have warned you guys to get a dentist appointment after reading this... ya know, 'cause it's so sweet and all... lmao.**

**Special shout out to Mandi for her glitter peen prompt, lol.**

**Thank you all for sticking with me. I've been a fail at updating lately, RL had plans for me. **

**I have no words to express how thankful I am to have Joey around to kick my butt into submission when I get all self doubty and annoying. She also pre-reads and tells me when stuff really sucks. I love her hard and I don't tell her enough.**

**Midnight Cougar is amazing and I can't express how grateful I am that she's taken this little story under her wing. **

**'Til next time, hopefully next week...**

**xox**

**Missy**


	23. Chapter 23

23.

The last couple of days have been nothing short of amazing. Spending some alone time with Edward has meant a lot of exploration in ways that I've never had before.

I'm taking those lemons - you know, the ones where my daughter is gone over the holidays - and turning them into lemonade, in the form of the desecration of my entire house.

It's been fun really, but I'm sort of ready for Ellie to come home. I miss her more than I thought I would.

Plus, Aunt Flo has decided to grace us with her presence. This explains the mood swings from the past week. It sucks on so many levels, and here I am still hoping to have one last tryst before the house gets filled with teenage hormones again.

"Hey baby," Edward whispers in my ear, while wrapping his arms around me.

Standing at the kitchen sink and washing dishes while cursing Mother Nature, and then having my sexy-as-sin live-in boyfriend rubbing himself up and down my backside, while whispering in my ear may just be the death of me.

"Hey," I whisper breathily. I should probably tell him about the mother of all cockblocks, but the way his hands skim my sides and wrap around my breasts, cupping them... "The crimson tide rolled in earlier," I rasp, closing my eyes and expecting him to stop.

But he doesn't, damn tease. Instead he chuckles and takes my earlobe between his teeth. "Hmm, that sucks, sweetheart."

"Yeah, it does." I rub my thighs together, hoping for something to dull the ache he's creating. Ugh, no such luck and there is no way in hell I'm doing the nasty while on the rag. Just no.

"No big deal, the kitchen defiling can wait 'til Ellie goes for a sleepover or something." He smirks and I scowl at him, tilting my head, and giving him a bitchbrow.

I'm not upset though; we're both doing a horrible job at keeping straight faces. I love how he's always able to keep up with my ever changing moods, like he can read my mind or something.

"Well... there are other... things we could do." I turn in his arms to face him, and run a finger down his chest. I'm not sure it looks as sexy as I'd like, but by the way his breathing hitches when I run my finger back and forth right on the edge of the waistband of his pants, I'm accomplishing my task.

_Bella Swan: 1; Edward's libido: 0_

I think... I may be keeping the score all wrong, but whatever. I can see how excited I'm making him, and to be honest, it's making me all kinds of excited too.

He cocks his head to the side and narrows his eyes. "Are there now?"

I nod solemnly, sucking my bottom lip into my mouth 'cause I know just how much he likes that. "Oh yeah. Want me to show you?" I tease, dipping my finger inside his pants and lightly grazing the top of his erection.

I watch his eyes shift from my lips down to his pants then up to my eyes and his Adam's apple bobs up and down as he clears his throat. "Ehmm, yes... yes, definitely." His voice is hoarse, and I relish in the power it gives me.

I'm usually not that assertive, but all this time together makes me feel bold. He makes me want things, which is both nice and scary at the same time.

But he likes it. A lot. And who am I to deny him any pleasure?

And speaking of pleasure. "How about we start with undoing these, huh?" I take his belt out of its loop and undo the button to his pants.

Looking straight up into his eyes, I watch as they dilate and darken, desire clearly showing. "Bella, you don't have-"

I press a finger to his lips. "Don't make me have to tie you up, Mr. Cullen." His sharp intake of air and unmistakable whimper spur me on. "Now, how about I make you feel good, huh?"

Unzipping his pants, I dip my hand inside the parted zipper, and stroke him over his boxers. He's hard as steel under my palm, and I can't wait to make him feel good.

Giving head has never been my strong suit, but Edward loves it. He says I'm the best he's ever had. I don't even care if he's lying, because that's really sweet. Although he may have said it because he likes to have it done, the fact is, he likes when I do it. That's enough to make me _want _to do it.

Plus, the feeling of power I get from knowing I can do that to him; that I can make him feel that good; that his pleasure is under my control... it's pretty awesome.

I lick my lips suggestively and drop to my knees, thankful that the kitchen has cheap cushion floors and not real hard ceramic tile.

Edward tucks a lock of hair behind my ear, and silently watches as I lower his pants and boxers halfway down his legs. I run my hands behind his thighs, and squeeze his butt cheeks lightly, making him curse and groan.

I keep one hand on his hip, and run the other one up his thigh until I have his cock in my hand. It's hard and soft and warm and an entire index of other words that I can't think of right now as my head swims with lust and the need to rock his world.

Stroking him a few times, I look up to his face and find him looking down at me. His eyes are hooded and his cheeks are pink. He's chewing on his bottom lip and breathing heavily, a thin sheen of sweat adorning his forehead. I can't help but smirk at how worked up he is over the anticipation of this blowjob. I mean, it's not like I've never done this to him before. "Relax, Edward. Let me take care of you."

My voice comes out smoother than I'd thought, but it works its magic.

Whimpering and throwing his head back, he shifts impatiently from one foot to the other, and his fingers flex against my scalp, sending a shiver down my spine.

I lean forward slightly and bring my lips to the tip of his erection, tasting him with my tongue before taking him into my mouth as far as I can. I bob my head in time with my hand, and spread saliva around him to lubricate what I can't take in my mouth.

Twisting my hand around his base, and flicking my tongue over the head of his cock, earns me some breathy curse words, and then things like "I love your hot mouth" and "suck my cock, beautiful". I'm not going to lie; hearing him all raspy and breathless while he says these things makes me hate Mother Nature on a whole new level.

As I work him over, he hums and curses, and I know he won't last much longer. I'm okay with that since my jaw is most likely going lock if I do this for much longer.

Taking cues from how his fingers are now threaded into my hair, and guiding my head as I suck him in and out of my mouth, I hum around him and use my hand that was previously on his butt cheek guiding him, to fondle his balls.

Before long, he's pulling at my hair, trying to get me off of him, but I keep going until I feel warm spurts of fluid being shot into my mouth. I swallow diligently around him, while trying not to taste it. Let's face it, come tastes bitter.

I do my best to clean him off, and when I look back up to his face, a lazy grin plays on his lips as he gazes down at me. So worth the gross aftertaste currently lingering around my taste buds. "I take it you liked that, huh?"

He helps me stand, and I help him pull up his pants and underwear. "I'd be crazy not to, Jesus, Bella." He shakes his head, that lazy grin still plastered on his lips. I kind of like it there.

"It's just Bella," I retort playfully, and feel my face get warm. No matter how long we're together, he's probably always going to affect me this way. Damn man.

"Well, Just Bella, that was amazing. Thank you." He wraps his arms around me, and before I can protest his lips are on mine and his tongue is plunged deep into my mouth.

It's all sweet, sweet torture for my libido, but it is what it is. Breathless, I break the kiss and get lost in him as he kisses my throat. "In three to five days, mark my words, Mr. Cullen, I'll be coming for you." I smirk as the innuendo leaves my lips, and feel him chuckle, his breath tickling my skin.

"I'll hold you to that, Miss Swan."

I don't think I'll ever be able thank my lucky stars enough that I've found my _one_; my soulmate.

…

Since Aunt Flo does a good job at reminding me I'm a woman and apparently still able to procreate, Edward and I spend the next couple of days working at unpacking his stuff, and spreading it around the house. Finding homes for his things amongst mine is quite the task, but we have fun distracting ourselves and cracking up at each other's silliness.

We put duplicate items into separate boxes that will either end up in the basement or be donated to Goodwill. Goodwill sounds better than the basement. We don't argue about it, but putting things in the basement makes this living arrangement feel temporary. Although we both know things can change for us down the line, we've experienced quite a few ups and downs already to know that we're both in this thing for good. We're not kids. Our relationship is built on honesty, and I know we'll handle whatever the future brings.

The boxes never make it to the basement; they end up by the door. When we're completely done unpacking, Edward wordlessly packs them up into the car, and takes them to Goodwill.

His gesture confirms that we're definitely, without a doubt, on the same page.

I watch out the living room window as the snow falls and settle on the ground. It'll be January - a new year - soon, and tomorrow we're driving to Seattle to get Ellie.

Fingering the small locket that's nestled into my cleavage, where it's been since Christmas, I watch Edward's car as he drives up the driveway and parks it next to my own. The two vehicles - although vastly different - look good there in my driveway.

I guess they're sort of like Edward and me that way. We're vastly different - made up of various parts and their own past histories, but in the end, they're innately the same.

...

On our way to Seattle, I get engrossed in reading one of the stories on my phone, while Edward listens to music and drives. We're both not too wordy, but I'm nervous and he can tell.

My Skype conversations with Ellie have been constant. We haven't missed sharing too many events in the last few weeks, but I've missed hugging her and just having her there. The mother in me will probably always miss her when she's not around, no matter how old she is, or where her life journeys takes her.

Before long, we're parking the car at the airport and finding out where we have to wait. I look at my watch every few minutes, anticipating her arrival while Edward sits patiently beside me and holds my hand. My leg bobs up and down nervously, and I have the overwhelming urge to bite my nails. I can't remember feeling this much pent up anxiety in a long time.

Finally, after what seems like forever, I see her.

She's standing at the gate and looking around, oblivious that we're right here. I stand and tug on Edward's hand for him to stand too, and that's when I see her face light up as her eyes meet mine.

Tears are running down my face as I walk briskly in her direction. She meets me halfway and when I wrap my arms around her, I crumble a little bit, crying and laughing and completely uncaring of onlookers.

She's here. She's safe. She's in my arms. I kiss the side of her head and cheek, and realize she's also crying. Holding her face between my palms, I stand back look at her. Except for looking like she needs a good night's rest, she hasn't changed in two weeks, but I can't help feeling like she has. "I missed you so much, baby."

Wrapping my arms around her, I hug her tightly and wipe my cheeks. I'm happy. So much so, that I don't realize when Edward walks off and comes back carrying Ellie's bag.

"Thanks, Edward," she whispers and gives him a shy smile while resting her cheek on my shoulder.

"Alright, well, how about we blow this popsicle stand?" he replies rubbing his hands together jovially. He's trying to lighten the mood, and it's great. Only these aren't sad tears, they are happy tears.

"I want to go home," Ellie states as she lets go of me and goes to grab her bag, only Edward flings it out of her grasp and throws it over his shoulder.

"I got this." He winks at her and walks ahead of us.

Ellie giggles, shakes her head, and takes my hand. "I guess some things never change, eh Mom?"

"Nope... and thank God for that." Hand in hand, we follow Edward out the door and into the cool December air.

Thirty minutes into the trip home, Ellie nods off in the back seat. It doesn't take long and I guess, I do the same since the next thing I know, Edward is caressing my cheek and telling me we're home.

Blinking the sleep out of my eyes, I look around and notice that we're parked in front of our house, and Ellie is already on the porch, unlocking the door. "Shit, I slept the entire way?" My voice is thick with sleep. "I'm sorry."

Edward kisses the tip of my nose, and gently rubs my cheek. "You were emotionally tired, it's all good. Besides, the two of you talk in your sleep. You're both quite entertaining together."

Palming my face in embarrassment, I shake my head. "Seriously, Edward, what did I say?"

"I'm not telling," he teases and lets himself out of the car.

Groaning, I zip up my jacket and make my way to the house where Edward joins me with Ellie's bag.

She thanks him quickly and kisses my cheek before sprinting up to her room. "Well, I guess she missed her room more than she missed us, huh?"

Edward wraps his arm around me. "Meh, teenagers, they're all like that, you know?"

"Unfortunately." I roll my eyes, knowing full well he's right. I don't know how he's able to be surrounded by hundreds of them every day.

"It's getting late," Edward whispers in my ear. "Come to bed with me?" It's more of a statement than a question.

And seeing as Mrs. Flo has left for greener pastures, I follow him upstairs, making sure to stop by Ellie's room to bid her good night.

Tomorrow is another day, and we'll catch up on whatever it is that we didn't cover over Skype.

Tonight though, I know I'll sleep like a baby because my baby is home, under my roof, all safe and sound cuddled up in her own bed.

…

Mom and Dad's New Year's Eve party is always fun. Some years, we've been around to enjoy it, while other years were spent with Alec's family.

This year, Edward's parents are joining us there, along with a couple of their close friends.

It's a busy night full of fun and a lot of talking.

Dad tells stories of when he was a cop. He's feeling so much better now, it's amazing. I watch him laugh and be his boisterous self. It's like this past six months or so hasn't happened; only I know it has because Edward's arm is around my shoulder as he speaks animatedly with Emmett about some computer game they both enjoy playing on Facebook.

Alice and Ellie are inseparable. I swear, those two are like twins separated at birth. I can't wait to see Ellie's cell phone bill. She better have used her unlimited text and Alec's Wi-Fi to chat with Alice, otherwise, she's going to have to babysit to pay her bill. I've missed her, but I'm not a pushover.

Rose, Mom and Esme are sitting a few feet away and talking about Mom's hors d'oeuvres. I smile and nod at appropriate times, but I'm overwhelmed with emotion. All this is fantastic.

Edward's fingers play with the little tendrils hanging on my neck, pulled loose from my updo, and when I meet his eyes, they shift to the clock. "Oh wow."

We've been so enthralled with everything, nobody's noticed the time. It's already five minutes to midnight and I stand up, clapping my hands to get attention.

When all eyes are upon me, I clear my throat uncomfortably. "So, it's almost time to ring in the New Year. I hope we all get what we wish for." I grin and turn my head to find Edward's eyes trained on me while Mom quickly gets the clock on her phone to do a proper countdown.

And after a few moments, I wrap my arms around Edward, this is it, as the clock strikes midnight, I have nothing to wish for. Looking around me, I realize, I finally have everything I'd ever want.

A man who is so obviously in love with me, he makes my knees weak with a simple stare. A daughter who is growing up to be a wonderful person. Parents, in-laws and family that are there for each other, no matter what.

There's not much more I could ever ask for. I am truly blessed.

And as Edward's lips meet mine at the stroke of midnight, I pour everything I have into that kiss, giving him everything I can, and hoping it's enough until we're both alone together in the privacy of our bedroom.

* * *

**Alright...first things first. We have 1 more chapter and an epi left for this story. I'm sad too. BUT, I did write an outtake in EPOV that was donated to the StandUp4Katalina. Please visit the site **_katalina . fandomcause . info_** for more details on how you can donate and make a difference.**

**Secondly...this chapter is for Scrimmy. She's been begging me to write more blowjobs. So...oh my dear substitute pseudo grandma, I hope the lemon lovin' above suits you. ;o)**

**And last but not least, I have to give major props to Midnight Cougar for betaing and Joey for pre-reading, cause without them to kick my ass into gear, this would look a lot worse.**

**Thanks for reading and leaving me your words. I love to hear them.**

**xox**

**Missy**


	24. Chapter 24

24.

January rolls into February without much fanfare, as Edward settles comfortably into the house along with Ellie and I. It's truly confounding how easy this whole transition has been. I was expecting some fighting or major weirdness between Ellie and Edward, but there hasn't been any.

Whatever relationship the two had developed before he officially lived here blossomed into a sort of father-daughter bond. I can see in his eyes how much he loves her, just as I see how much Ellie looks up to him. She shares things with him that I know she would never tell me, and it warms my heart to know she trusts him that way.

Each morning, I kiss Edward goodbye, and give Ellie a hug before they both get into Edward's car and drive off. No longer do I have to drive her to school. At first, I thought it would be weird; that Ellie would complain, whine, or say something negative, but she just is not bothered by the situation. A ride is better than the bus, no matter who provides the transportation.

This saves me a trip on the opposite side of town, which means I get to stop for coffee on my way to work and not rush around as much. It's a small victory, but I'll take it nonetheless.

Our lives seem pretty easy; effortless. I like it. It's constant, day-in, day-out.

Some would think it's boring, but I like where we are… as a family. Our daily grind is pretty consistent, but there is a level of excitement that comes in when we spend time together.

Edward likes to cook, so this is something we try to do together on a regular basis.

Some nights, we sit together in the living room, and while he watches television, I read a book with my feet perched on his lap. Few words are exchanged, but the closeness and connection we share is still there.

So, okay, we're kind of boring, but we're comfortable, and that's what counts. I can see myself being with him for the rest of my life, and that's definitely a weird thought. It's certainly not something I'd ever expected to think about after my divorce from Alec.

When Edward and I go to bed at night, we've established a good routine. I'm somewhere around my sexual peak, and thankfully, Edward can keep up easily. That part of our relationship is amazing, and has thankfully never wavered in the months we've been together.

When we sleep, Edward is a cuddler, and although I'm not, knowing he searches me out and needs to touch me while he's asleep is kinda sweet.

Tonight is date night. We try to do that every Saturday. It's sort of something just for the two of us, since we make it a point to spend some time with Ellie on a regular basis during the rest of the week. She remains the centre of my world, and Edward respects and admires that wholeheartedly.

Ellie sometimes has sleepovers with some of her girlfriends on the weekend, so this allows us some alone time in the house. On these Saturday nights, it feels like we can just let ourselves go and be free. I still feel weird about having sex while Ellie is asleep in the room down the hall, but it's a fact of life, I suppose. This is the part that takes longer for me to adjust to. When she's home, we keep things low key, and love each other with quiet murmurs and easy thrusts.

Luckily, tonight is one of those nights where Ellie is at Alice's. The house is ours for the taking, and Edward will definitely be up for that. He's been itching to defile the stupid kitchen properly, once and for all. I find it hilarious, really, but he insists it must be done at all costs. Of course, when he gives me that lopsided grin and pulls my body flush with his, I can never resist him.

"So, when we go home, this is what you have in mind?" I tease.

"Don't judge me, woman. We haven't had any time alone in three weeks." He leans over the table and pulls my hand to his lips, kissing my fingers lightly. "You're wearing that little librarian outfit I like so much, Bella. The last two hours have been pure torture."

When he talks to me like this, my body instantly reacts on its own accord and I end up a wet, horny mess. Damn man, plays me like a fiddle. I shake my head to clear it from the lusty fog. "That sounds fun actually, but I vaguely remember something about a Boy Scout uniform. I think you still owe me that one." I smirk playfully while he squirms and nonchalantly reaches down under the table in front of him to adjust himself.

We end up leaving the restaurant pretty quickly, and making our way home safely without releasing the hold we have on each other's hands.

Fumbling and laughing, we walk through the door with only the naughtiest of intentions in mind. I want him to take me in the kitchen, hell, at this point, making it past the entryway may be an issue.

My fingers grip his shoulders as his hands grasp my butt firmly, lifting me up as my back hits the wall behind me.

Seems the entryway wall it is, then.

Fingers brush my centre and push my underwear to the side and just as Edward is about to thrust inside me, there's a thunderous knock on the door followed by Emmett's loud, booming voice.

Breathing hard, flushed, and fumbling, Edward helps me to my feet and we both quickly readjust ourselves and our clothing.

"Do you think he saw anything?" My voice comes out as a whisper. Holy shit, I hope the small glass pane in the door actually _is _privacy glass; otherwise my brother in law just had an awesome view of Edward's cock.

Emmett's voice and incessant knocking breaks me out of my momentary freak out. "Bella, Edward, I need help out here. Ellie just threw up in my car."

Hearing Ellie's name being called out makes Emmett's presence hit home, and I immediately whip open the door. "What's going on?"

Emmett's eyes are frantic as he explains how everyone in his house got food poisoning when they ordered Chinese for dinner. Well, everyone except for him since he ate pizza. He tried calling us, but the restaurant we went to was pretty fancy, and we had to turn off our phones.

"I swear, Bella, there's vomit everywhere." His eyes bug out and his skin is pasty white, almost green.

His expression is priceless, and I'd laugh if he weren't so freaked out. Ellie is still sitting in the car nursing a bag full of barf when Edward and I go get her to help her come inside the house.

"I'm sorry, Mom." Her voice is hoarse from throwing up and I really feel bad for her.

Edward helps me get her upstairs and into the bathroom where I help her clean up. She shoos me out of the bathroom and assures me she can shower alone.

"Is she going to be okay?" Edward asks from the hallway where he's been waiting for me.

"Yeah, I hope so. This sucks." I press my forehead to his chest and he wraps his arms around me.

"It does." He goes to kiss my neck but I stop him when I hear Ellie throw up behind the door beside us.

"Crap, we're not gonna get busy are we?" I sigh and burrow my face deeper against him as he pulls my body flush with his.

A third loud heaving sound echoes in the bathroom and I pull away from Edward sighing. "Go to bed, maybe we can pick this up later."

He kisses me quickly and tells me to come get him if I need him.

I walk into the bathroom and am rewarded with a sick little girl with her head hanging over the toilet. I pull her hair back and help her sit up. With a washcloth to her face, she leans against me and I hold her until she falls asleep in my arms.

At around three in the morning, I'm able to get Ellie comfortable in her bed. She hasn't been sick in the last two hours, but I make sure to put an empty trash can by her bed just in case, then tiptoe to my room where I'm hoping to get a few hours of sleep.

…

I open my eyes and look around sleepily. Catching the time on the alarm, it's almost seven a.m.

My mind is all foggy as I realize how late it is and that I've actually gotten a good few hours of rest. I lay my head back against the pillow and reach out for Edward, but he's not there. Turning my head toward his side of the bed, it's empty. He's up. He's probably the reason why I'm still in bed.

My mind wanders to last night and I'm reminded that the unfulfilled ache between my thighs is still there. I'm sexually frustrated and still tired, but I know I have to get up and go check on Ellie.

I walk across my bedroom and notice Edward's dirty clothes on the floor beside the laundry basket. For some reason, this irks me. I close my eyes and take a deep breath. _This is him_, I remind myself. _He does this all the time, _I chant internally as my hands ball into fists.

And the fact that there is no toilet paper on the roll in the bathroom only serves to exacerbate this anger.

I'm an angry, frustrated, fatigued, emotional mess by the time I'm done with my much needed shower and dressed for the day. I clearly need more sleep, but I know that can't happen right away.

Sighing, I make my way downstairs. There's no reason for me to be this angry over something so inconsequential, but I am. I can't explain it.

So, when I spot the two loves of my life, laughing and playing video games, while I'm all stuck inside my head cursing the Gods of puke cleaning and toilet paper handling, not to mention the little fairies that put away dirty clothes, I burst into tears.

Arms wrap around me soothingly, and I clutch onto him.

"Go back to bed, sweetheart. I've got this." His voice is sweet and tones down the anger that was quickly welling up inside me.

I nod against his chest just as I feel Ellie hugging me from behind. I'm in an Ellie-Edward sandwich and it feels pretty incredible. "How are you feeling, sweetheart?" I mumble into Edward's shirt.

"I'm good, Mom. Go to bed. I think I'm going back too. Edward gave me some of that pink stuff." I nod at her explanation and feel her let go of me.

"Come on, let's go back to bed," Edward coos.

I let him guide me back upstairs, but when we get to the doorway to our room I stop abruptly when I spot the dirty clothes. "You need to pick that mess up," I remind him.

He pushes past me and quickly swipes everything off the floor and throws it into the basket. "It's early, Bella. Clothes weren't exactly a priority this morning."

I roll my eyes. "It's not a priority on any morning." Bitterness rolls off my tongue, making Edward flinch.

He doesn't get angry very often; heck he's usually calm and collected, whereas I'm always all over the place emotionally.

But the look on his face as he stalks toward me makes me take a step back. "Not now, Bella. It's been a rough night. Come to bed, you need some sleep," he commands. The tone in his voice isn't angry as much as it's tired. I guess he's right, now is not the time.

I take a deep breath and wordlessly climb into bed. I hear some shuffling behind me, then Edward's body is pressed into mine, anchoring me and showing me he cares.

I close my eyes and let myself melt into him as the frustration falls away from my body.

This isn't the first argument we have had over petty things like dirty clothes or toilet paper, and it's certainly not going to be the last, but as petty as it seems, it makes us real.

…

It takes another three weeks before we're finally able to defile the kitchen properly.

Edward surprises me by picking me up for our date wearing khakis, a matching shirt, and a little striped scarf around his neck. I eye him carefully, not knowing what he's up to, but when he offers me cookies, I burst out laughing.

We don't make it out of the house. Ellie's not sick this time, so the kitchen counter gets thoroughly worked over.

And so does the wall by the entryway door.

…

June rolls around, and so much has happened over the last few months that I don't even realize school will be over soon for Ellie and Edward.

By now, we've all had birthdays, family celebrations, and holidays together. We're a real family.

Dad is feeling so much better; it's amazing to see him now. He's in the best shape of his life and has planned a fishing trip with Edward and Emmett. I refuse to go. No more fishing for me. Mom, Rose, Alice, Ellie and I are planning a girls' day at the spa. This, for some reason, has become more up my alley.

Besides, now that I have someone in my life who actually likes it when I pay attention to myself, it's well worth doing it.

Edward never hesitates in telling me I'm beautiful, even when I don't feel it. I do, however, feel how much he loves Ellie and me. It's in the little things, and I've come to realize how important it is to tell him how much I appreciate him and love him right back. This love and understanding between us makes picking up his dirty clothes a _little _bit easier.

Life, I've learned, is taking the lemons you get, and making lemonade. Sometimes it's sweet; sometimes tart, but always good. This is especially true when the people you share it with don't mind the little pits and imperfections in the mix.

* * *

**So it feels like the end, yeah? These two have made through lots of little rough patches, but I think they're going to be okay... Epi to post next week, and outtake/futuretake in EPOV is included in the Stand Up 4 Katalina compilation.**

**Huge thanks to my girls. They're awesome, and I have huge girl crushes on them.**

**Thank you for reading. I gave you my words; I like reading yours. ;o)**

**xox**

**Missy**


	25. Chapter 25 - Epilogue

25. EPILOGUE

June usually brings about a lot of change for us. It's when the school year ends; when Edward wraps things up with his students and prepares himself mentally to let them go in order to take on fresh ones the following September. It's also when our house becomes a busy hang out place for Ellie and her friends.

This year is no different. Ellie is now eighteen and all grown up. She's blossomed beautifully and I'm not afraid to let her go. She's intelligent and mature, ready to take on the world. College will be good for her.

As I watch her climb up onto the stage to pick up her diploma, my face breaks out into a huge grin as tears stream down my cheeks.

"Why are you crying, Momma?" Ella asks from her perch on her daddy's lap.

I soothe my finger down her chubby cheek, and smile when Edward's arm tightens around my shoulder, hugging me to his side. "Oh sweetie, these are happy tears, your sister is a big girl now. Today is a special day for her, remember?"

Gabriella was a surprise for us. Just when I thought menopause had started rearing her ugly head and had stopped the visits of Aunt Flo, it had turned out that I was pregnant. The surge of hormones in my body had rendered my daily pills kinda useless, resulting in our precious little Ella.

She nods her little head yes in response to me, and watches on ahead as other students walk up the stage and pick up their diplomas.

Edward's fingers play with the ends on my hair and I lean against him, enjoying his subtle touches. Telling him I was pregnant was difficult. We'd gotten used to life the way it was; easy, comfortable, routine.

We were happy, fulfilled, and at a place in our lives where we could pick up and leave on a moment's notice. Ellie was old enough to be trusted for a few days at a time alone at home, and we took advantage of it as often as we could.

But Edward's face as I told him about the pregnancy - that look of awe, want, surprise and ecstasy - it was worth every extra stretch mark and body ache, and even the long childbirth.

He loved Ella before we even knew she was a girl. I loved the fact that I could give him his own child and make him this happy. He says I gave him a gift he never knew he wanted.

It wasn't without difficulty on my part though. I was older, and my body certainly wasn't that of a twenty year old anymore, but I was happy.

In the back of my mind there was a lingering thought that something might happen to the baby growing inside me, until I hit the third trimester, but it was an easy pregnancy, so those thoughts were easily extinguished.

Of course, Alec and Kate weren't the happiest about the news. Alec's sadness showed through in his voice. The calls between him and Ellie weren't what they used to be as she chattered excitedly about being a big sister.

It was an asshole move on his part, but it wasn't something that was my fault, and I refused to feel bad about it. Kate was spiralling down in depression at the time so his home life was difficult. None of it excused his lack of participation in Ellie's life, but at least she had us.

At this point, Edward was acting more like a father to her than Alec was and I was thankful she had Edward's guidance and unconditional love.

Giving Ellie a younger sibling made her grow up in my eyes. It made me see her as she was - almost an adult.

Which makes today a lot easier to bear.

When the ceremony is over and we're all gathered at our new house, I realize how many people truly care for my daughter.

Esme and Carlisle are here, hugging her and congratulating her, while Ella clings to her grandmother's chest like a little koala bear. Esme announced last week that they were leaving for Europe at the end of the summer. The plan is to stay there for a few years in order to visit and thoroughly enjoy each country. They'll visit on major holidays, and of course with the internet, communication won't be lacking.

Ella doesn't quite understand yet, but seeing her cling to Esme the way she does, I'm sure she'll miss her. As we all will.

My mother-in-law is one of the most wonderful women I know.

When Edward asked me to marry him, Esme helped me plan things so that we'd have a small, private ceremony. I had no idea what to do, and Rose was adamant that a courthouse wedding was inappropriate. Truth be told, my wedding to Edward was the nicest one out of the two I've had, hands down.

We were outside at the country club surrounded by nature and our families. That was all I wanted and needed. Seeing Edward's face light up as I walked towards him was the most amazing sight, especially with the sun shining brightly above us and the sounds of nature surrounding us. It was heavenly.

When we found out we were expecting Ella, Esme and Carlisle moved here to be closer to us. Their presence, combined with my parents' involvement, gave me the opportunity to start my own business and get away from Newton's.

Ella spends time with both families. She's spoiled, but in a good way. She gets as many hugs and kisses as she wants. A kid can never get too many of those.

"Mom?" Ellie's voice brings me out of my thoughts.

I smile and put an arm around her shoulders. I can't believe she's already eighteen. "What's going on, sweetheart?"

"Nothing. Just... thanks... for this." She motions to the people meandering around, laughing, talking, and eating.

"It's no problem, honey. Are you having a good time?" I ask, smiling and then taking in her serious facial expression, I wonder what else is going on in her head.

She nods, biting her bottom lip, making me smile again. It's like looking in a mirror. One that makes you look about twenty years younger. "Yeah... I just... I broke it off with Mike," she confesses, her voice wavering slightly.

"Oh, baby, I'm sorry. Are you okay?" Looking around, I notice Mike speaking to his parents, the three of them peering over at Ellie and me. I hope they leave soon.

"Yeah," she sniffs, "it's just, you know, he was my first... boyfriend. And I can't... I don't want to be tied down when I leave next fall. It's easier this way."

I hug her tightly and feel her take a few deep breaths. "I'm okay, really. I'm actually relieved." She giggles and I pull back to examine her face.

"You're sure?" I ask, searching her beautiful eyes, relieved that she's not breaking down at her own graduation party.

She nods and smiles, chewing her thumbnail. "Oh definitely. There's a cute guy that comes into the shop every Saturday. I may actually try to speak to him now."

_Oh, to be young... _I roll my eyes and shake my head, smiling.

Ellie works part-time at the bookstore downtown, and I can't say this is the first time I've heard of some guy walking in and piquing her interest. Mike wouldn't have been caught dead in a bookstore; he never once stopped by to see her at work. Maybe that should have been a sign that the two were never meant to be, but it wasn't my place to say anything. He was always fairly nice and respectful toward her, so there was never any reason for me to get in the middle of it.

"Alright, well, how about we cut that cake, huh?" Together, we walk over to the table where there is a cake and some gifts for her.

"Daddy?" Ellie squeals, as she runs toward Alec. He'd been at the graduation and I made it a point to invite him to this celebration. Kate's not with him, but I'm glad he made it. I'm also glad he's not staying for too long. He has to be back to work on Monday, which makes this trip very short for him.

Looking at the father-daughter duo makes my insides all wobbly. I can't remember the last time I saw Alec face-to-face with Ellie; it's been many years. I'm glad I'll get to see this again with Edward and Ella. Father-daughter relationships are the best.

Alec hasn't changed much, I guess. But I'm definitely no longer attracted to him.

I walk over to them and am joined by Edward. "Glad you could make it, Alec."

We hadn't done any introductions at the graduation as Alec's plane got in just in time for him to make it there. He hadn't been sitting with us, and I barely caught him in the parking lot to tell him to come here.

Communication was never our strong suit, unless it was about Ellie, and it's only gone downhill in the last few years between the two of us. Mainly since Ella's birth and all he's had to deal with regarding Kate.

"I'm so proud of you, sweetheart." He holds Ellie against him and hugs her tightly. "I wouldn't miss this for the world," he continues, nodding toward Edward and I in acknowledgement.

Ella wanders up to her father and tugs on his leg, asking to be picked up.

"I'm glad you're here," Ellie says, pulling back from their embrace. "Daddy, this is Ella." Ella giggles as Ellie picks her up, and wraps her over her hip. "Ella, this is my daddy. His name is Alec."

Ella tilts her head to the side in wonder, eyeing Alec carefully. She knows Edward is her daddy, but when Ellie addresses him as Edward, it confuses her a little, and once in a while she calls him Edward, mimicking her older sister. We figure she'll understand more as she grows up.

"Alik," Ella repeats. "It's like Auntie Alice, huh?"

Ellie laughs. "Yeah, kind of."

Ella addresses both Alice and Rose as aunties. It's sweet and she really doesn't know any better. Alice is a force to be reckoned with. Between her father's loud, boisterous nature and her mother's looks and charm, she's certainly grown up into a beautiful girl. She'll be graduating next year, and going off to college.

She and Jasper have big, elaborate plans. Hopefully they'll be able to make it all work for them. They're so sweet together. True love knows no age, I suppose.

Carlisle and Charlie's laughter catches Ella's attention and she hops off of Ellie's hip and runs toward her grandfathers.

"She's sweet," Alec admits, awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck. "You guys are lucky," he continues quietly.

Edward, who's been silently observing this whole time, wraps an arm around my waist and pulls me to his side. "She's great, and yes, we are very blessed." Smiling, he looks at me and over to Ella, then his gaze shifts to Ellie and back to my ex-husband before he continues, "It's nice of you to come, Alec."

The two men nod awkwardly, and Ellie eyes me curiously, making a face that makes me giggle. "Alright, well, how about we get some of that cake before it's all gone." Hopefully food will take some of the awkwardness away from this situation.

…

If anyone would have told me that someday, my current husband and ex-husband would be together talking and making jokes, I would not have believed them.

Looking on as Edward leans casually against the back of the house while Alec explains something, waving his hands around, making both men laugh out loud, makes my heart do flip-flops.

Not many men would be doing what Edward's doing right now - befriending the current wife's ex, but he's secure in his manhood and trusts me. It's the sexiest thing ever.

His eyes meet mine from across the yard, and his smile triples as he winks my way. My entire body flushes crimson. Hopefully when we're old and grey, he'll still have this effect on me.

…

"So, that went well." I sigh, taking off my shirt, leaving me in only a bra and underwear. Not even the sexy stuff.

Edward sits on the edge of the bed and takes off his socks. "Yeah. I'm so proud of her."

It's late, the guests are gone, the house is clean, and the kids are in bed. Well, Ella is in her bed while Ellie is at her friend's house. It's Saturday night, and I'm expecting a drunken phone call in about three hours asking for a ride home. We told her to be safe and warned her not to get into anyone's car. I may have been a wallflower throughout high school, but I've had my eyes open while raising a teenager, plus I did have Rose as a sister. She certainly wasn't a wallflower.

"You think she'll be okay tonight?" I take out a nightgown from my dresser, and make my way toward the ensuite bathroom.

Edward's eyes follow me, and he stands, joining me by the door, only wearing boxer-briefs. "She'll be fine, Bella." He leans in, his breath washing over me, heating up the skin behind my ear. "Now, how about Mommy and Daddy get some private time?"

Mouth open and eyes heavy, I lean into him, enjoying the heat from his body. My skin instantly prickles in anticipation, as my breath catches in my throat. "That sounds like a good plan," I breathe out, swallowing a moan as his lips brush against my collarbone and his fingers slide the bra straps down my arms. "Shower with me?"

He presses his nose into my hair and inhales greedily. "I wasn't letting you go in there alone, sweetheart."

I can feel him - hard as steel and warm all over - as he brushes up against me and drops a kiss to my temple, on his way toward the shower stall.

"Are you coming?" he asks suggestively, smirking when he sees me giggle and raise an eyebrow.

I shake my head and take a few steps inside the bathroom, discarding my bra and underwear on the way.

Running my hands down Edward's back while he's bent over, adjusting the water temperature, I take advantage and slip my hands in his underwear and slide them down his thighs. "I was hoping I'd get clean, not dirty, actually." My voice breaks when he turns around and quickly wraps his arms around me.

"What makes you think we weren't going to get clean?" He raises an eyebrow in challenge, his hard-on pressed up against my belly, making me squirm in anticipation.

"Because you always make me feel so dirty," I admit, peppering kisses to his chest and shoulder.

"I think it's you, Bella, who makes me want to do dirty things." He kisses me soundly, then pulls back, dropping wet, lingering kisses down my throat, all the way to my ear. "Now, how about I clean you so I can make you dirty again afterwards?"

And he does… thoroughly. He makes me feel good and dirty and tired and completely sated. And when I fall asleep after falling apart - once in the shower and once in our bed - he holds me close to him until the phone rings, waking us both, bringing us back to reality.

…

Ellie is clearly drunk and giggly when she walks in the door, held up by a smiling Edward. He tells me that she's been talking his ear off the entire way, making silly jokes and commenting on how fast the trees were flying by.

I guide her to her bedroom praying she doesn't throw up, where she face-plants right into her mattress, and falls asleep right away.

She's going to feel that in the morning, but she called us and trusted that we would be there for her. She's not going to get in trouble for this; it was her high school graduation party, after all. We knew it would happen, and while I don't like seeing her like this, at least she's safe.

Her friend's parents were there monitoring things and making sure nobody drove home drunk. They'd rather do it at their house while they're there and the kids be in a safe environment. As parents, some decisions are harder to make than others.

Ellie is a good kid, and I trust that she's responsible enough to make good decisions. Calling us, even drunk, is a good decision.

At around four, we're back in bed, tucked in together.

"Rite of passage, right?" I ask Edward as he pulls my back to his front, spooning me.

"Don't worry, babe, she's a good kid. We did well." His soft snores echo around the room as he drifts off to sleep.

And I'm stuck on the word "we." It makes me smile, and my heart clenches. _We _did do well. We're going to do well, no matter what.

We're together. We built a family. He's everything I never even knew I wanted, and more.

I drift back to sleep thinking that meeting Edward and letting him into my life are the best things I've ever done. With everything we've been through, he's certainly made my life less ordinary.

THE END

* * *

**So this is the end...for now. I wrote**** an outtake in EPOV that was donated to the StandUp4Katalina. Please visit the site **_katalina . fandomcause . info_** for more details on how you can donate and make a difference. :o)**

**I have to thank some people for making this story what it's been. Midnight Cougar, Joey, Scrimmy, Bel...Thank you from the bottom of my heart for pre-reading, betaing, and kicking my ass into gear.**

**You guy...damn, what can I say...I've been a fail at review replies as I've stretched myself thin with writing, but good lord people, THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart! :oD**

**xox**

**Missy**


	26. EPOV Outtakes

**These were the 2 outtakes I'd sent you guys through review-replies. I figured I'd post them now since it'll be hard to keep up with future readers.**

**I am more than thankful for your reviews. You guys keep me humble. :D**

* * *

EPOV outtake 1

When Maria, my therapist, had suggested I take a breather and consider relocating close to my family in the state of Washington, I'd been very reticent to agree to it.

It meant moving. It meant getting new teaching credentials. It meant leaving fifteen years of my life behind.

But it also meant starting over. New people. New places. New experiences.

With my parents being in Seattle, I knew that coming back to Washington was my best bet to reclaiming some sort of existence. They were the only family I had left and I'd missed them greatly.

Moving there also brought me a few states away from Chelsea, which meant that there was probably no chance at all that I was going to run into her or Bree at any point and time.

I didn't want to see them. Call me childish, but I'd survived as much humiliation as I possibly could and all I wanted was to leave it all behind and start over.

When I finally got the balls to make the big move, none of the schools in Seattle were looking for English teachers so I looked around into the smaller schools in surrounding towns and found a small town about four hours away that seemed to be just the thing I was looking for.

It was quiet and unassuming. People were friendly and best of all, nobody knew me or anything about my past.

When I walked into the local sporting goods store looking for some new hiking boots on my first day in town, I knew I'd made the right decision. Standing behind the counter flipping the pages of what looked like a fishing equipment catalogue, was a the prettiest woman I'd ever seen.

She looked curvy and natural...healthy, not fake or plastic like the city girls I'd been used to.

Her hair was long and dark, and looked to have a natural wavy texture to it. For some reason, I wanted to reach out and touch it to see if it was as soft as it looked.

But none of those things were what had caught my attention, what did me in were her eyes. They were expressive if not a little sad. She seemed shy, not even making any eye contact with her co-worker, but for some reason her shyness was the sexiest thing I'd seen in a long time.

It was a trait I'd forgotten existed. Call me foolish, but having women throw themselves at you is only fun when you want them to do that. The true thrill is in the chase and I wanted that. I

wanted to pursue someone. It was one of those things Maria had insisted I try, but i'd been too chicken to do it.

And this woman, so beautiful and oblivious to my presence, seemed to be the perfect mark.

But there was a slight problem to my new found epiphany, I had no idea how to approach her. I'd never had to chase anyone as I'd married the first and only girl I'd dated.

Being a late bloomer and shy had stunted my self confidence and had also kept me from playing the field.

And now that I was a free man, I had no idea how to go about asking a girl out.

* * *

EPOV outtake 2

Stumbling onto Bella was like kismet. She and I were just meant to be.

I knew as soon as I saw her again, once in the school parking lot and then later at the store, that there was something there.

A higher power, or maybe just my dumb luck, was sending her in my path.

And when I finally got the balls to ask her out, it felt like a million butterflies took residence in my stomach, but yet like a huge weight had been lifted.

So many conflicting emotions swirled through me all at once. It was so overwhelming, yet so comforting. I had something to look forward to. And for the first time in a long time, my personal life felt like it was headed somewhere.

With Chelsea, things had been stuck in a loop of work and a lonely home life while she went off with her girlfriends.

If only I'd opened my eyes sooner...

But then, if she would have been faithful, I wouldn't have met Bella or Ellie.

I wouldn't have this right here.

Ellie is the daughter I always wanted but could never have and Bella is the best damn thing that has ever happened to me.

The day Ellie came to me at school and asked what my intentions were with her mother, is the day I knew without a doubt that she owned me, heart and soul.

I'd smiled and told her that I loved Bella. That she was it for me, but that I wanted to find the right time to tell her.

Ellie's eyes had brightened up immediately and she had squealed and jumped around like a...well, like a hormonal teenage girl. Good thing I was used to that kind of thing.

Smiling, I'd told her that I'd do my best to be there for them and make her mother happy.

She'd informed me that I already did before hopping off to another class.

I'd taken that conversation as acceptance of me in her life, and have never looked back.

* * *

**Please don't forget, I wrote**** an outtake in EPOV that was donated to the StandUp4Katalina. Please visit the site **_katalina . fandomcause . info_** for more details on how you can donate and make a difference. :o)**


	27. SU4K EPOV Outtake

**Lazy Sundays - A Life Less Ordinary outtake was written for the Stand Up for Katalina compilation. God bless her beautiful spirit.**

Midnight Cougar beta'd this; Joey pre-read. I love them both dearly.

…

EPOV

If anyone had told me my life would have turned out this way, I would have scoffed and told them to shut it.

In the past ten years or so, Bella and her family have changed my life.

Telling me she was pregnant with Gabriella had taken the wind out of me. We weren't in our twenties anymore, but feeling that child kick through her mother's belly sent me into this tailspin. I loved her more than life itself before she was even born.

Holding her for the first time, knowing she was my own flesh and blood, that feeling, the one where you know your life isn't your own anymore, yeah, it owned me heart and soul.

Ellie was like a daughter to me. I'd watched her grow up from an awkward teenager into a beautiful young lady, but knowing that I'd get to watch Ella - what we call Gabriella for short - from the moment she was born, made me regret all the years I wasted thinking I was okay with not having any kids of my own.

I was about thirty-seven when she was born, and so was Bella. I knew Ella was my one and only, and I never felt bad about spoiling her.

When she was four, we enrolled her in dance. She loved it; twirling around the house in her leotards and flexing her legs as she jumped. Every movement fluid, even at such a young age.

Bella joked that she'd gotten that from my side of the family, I snickered and agreed.

Ellie loved her little sister. She was an amazing role model for Ella. When Ellie left for college, it left a gaping hole in the house. I truly think having Ella helped Bella deal with the empty nest syndrome Ellie's departure had left in our home.

I remember the first year we were together when Ellie had spent Christmas with her father and how Bella had been devastated. At least now, at our age, by the time Ella leaves for college, we'll both most likely be grateful for an empty house.

This weekend though, our house will be far from empty. It's Sunday today. Ellie was working yesterday and couldn't make the drive up until today.

She's coming home from Seattle later this afternoon, and will spend a few days here. She's bringing along her new boyfriend. It's Christmas in a few weeks, and she wants us to meet him before the holiday rush.

We've met a few of Ellie's suitors over the years, but apparently this one is special.

I remind myself to get into gun collecting by the time Ella gets into boys. If she grows up looking anything like her mother and sister, I'll need it.

Ellie is the spitting image of a younger Bella. It's scary how much they look alike. While Ella has a lot of my traits, I see a lot of Bella and Ellie in her. Boys won't stand a chance.

"Daddy, is Daisy coming to my recital?" Ella jumps on my lap and takes a seat.

I humph loudly at her boisterous nature and adjust her over my lap so her bony butt doesn't dig into my thighs so much. "Yeah. Alice and Jasper are bringing her." Daisy is Alice and Jasper's two year old daughter. Rose and Emmett are already grandparents, while we're still carpooling and going to dance recitals.

"But she's little, I hope she doesn't cry throughout the whole thing," Ella muses, pursing her lips and her eyes narrowing into slits.

I ruffle her hair playfully, making her huff and push on my hands to stop. "Daddy, Mommy just made me brush it," she clicks her tongue and fingers the long strands of strawberry blond hair. "I hope Ellie makes it here in time."

I pat her knee gently. "She will baby. You know she's all excited about this, right? You've worked so hard to learn all those steps."

Over the past few months, she's been practicing non-stop to learn her part in "The Nutcracker." Ellie loves watching her little sister on stage and wouldn't miss this for the world.

"That's good. I'm going to go practice now." She hops off my lap and runs out of the room. I chuckle and shake my head at her enthusiasm. It's all kinds of cute and I'm grateful every day to have her around.

Bella walks into the room a split second later, shaking her head with a smile on her face. "That child will definitely make her way in life," she giggles and takes a seat on my lap where Ella had just been. "So Daddy, excited about this weekend?"

She puts her arms around my shoulders and nuzzles her face in my neck, grazing the skin with her teeth. I groan and pull her closer, feeling myself grow hard as she wiggles over me knowingly. "Bella," I groan, and hold her firmly. "That's not fair. You know we can't do anything about... this right now."

This earns another giggle from Bella who twines her fingers in my hair, and pushes my head back while she kisses my jaw. "I know, but you're so cute with her, I can't help it."

I clear my throat to find my voice as my head starts to swim with lust, and it's just not the right time. Damn this woman and her evil ways. "Yes well... she's my daughter... gah, Bella..." Her tongue flicks out and I feel her teeth nip at the shell of my ear. "Sweetheart, Jesus..." My voice is hoarse, and forget about being inconspicuous, I'm at full mast digging into her backside, and apparently this is funny.

"No worries, baby, we'll take care of that later." She rubs my cheek softly and kisses my lips chastely before hopping off my lap. "By the way, Ellie will be here in half an hour. Could you go make sure the spare bedroom is set up for her _friend?_" She smirks and I respond with an eyebrow lift of my own.

"Sweetheart, you realize they live together, right?" I shift in the chair and rearrange the situation between my legs, thankful that having this conversation is a complete turn-off.

Her face falls and she closes her eyes, scrunching up her nose and blowing out a breath. "Don't... Please."

I chuckle and stand up, stretching my legs as I close the distance between us. "She's not a baby anymore, Bella."

"I know. It just seems like yesterday she was a little girl, and now she's... she's... oh my god, I'm going to be a grandma too!" Bella's eyes widen and her hands shoot up to cover her mouth.

I rub her upper arms up and down soothingly and pull her into a hug. "There, there... don't worry; I won't get weirded out when I'm sleeping with a grandmother."

She looks up at me and smirks playfully. "You realize her kids are going to call you grandpa, right?"

I feign being surprised by gasping exaggeratingly. "No, really?"

"Alec and Kate are in Florida, and I can't even remember the last time Ellie saw them. You know how Kate still hates to fly." Bella rolls her eyes, aware that Kate's excuse is just that, a sorry excuse. After losing her baby, she underwent a lot of treatment. At one point, she had even gone through rehab because of an addiction to painkillers.

They made her mind numb, she'd said.

When Bella got pregnant for Ella, Kate broke down, and whatever internal struggle she'd been having over her inability to bare children increased trifold. It took three years of intense therapy before she finally snapped out of it. By then, Alec had been through enough, and had suggested they move and start over completely.

Kate opted for Florida.

By then, Ellie had already started college. Trips to visit her father decreased since she couldn't just get up and go. She was older, and was starting to have a life of her own.

I got the chance to meet him once at Ellie's graduation. Kate hadn't come to the ceremony, something that never sat well with Ellie. She loved Kate and thought the world of her, but those actions left her feeling betrayed. In the mind of an eighteen year old, something like that takes a while to forgive.

Alec was a nice enough man. He'd truly cared for Bella, but he'd admitted to me that he wasn't in love with her. His love lain with his current wife, no matter their struggles, he truly loves that woman.

I wouldn't know, in the last ten years, I've never had the pleasure of meeting her.

"Maybe once she realizes that Ellie's children would call her grandma, she may step up to the roll," Bella says.

"Well, let's not think about it yet. She's been with this one for six months; remember how long she was with Mike? I was surprised when they broke up the week after their graduation." Thinking back to how unaffected Ellie had been, I wasn't too surprised. High school sweethearts are a rarity.

"True, but Mike was... well... he was kind of a shallow douche." Bella nods emphatically. "Kind of like his father, actually. I'm kind of glad we don't have those people as in-laws."

When Bella went on maternity leave after having Ella, she started doing some freelance work from home. Small projects turned into larger ones and before we knew it, _Swan-Cullen Designs_ was born.

"Well, Mrs. Cullen, I'm kind of glad you are too." We get to spend a little time alone every day since her office is in our house and I only teach classes in the morning. "Now, how about we go prepare that guest bedroom, huh?"

I kiss her cheek and swat her butt playfully before walking off.

…

"Mom, remember that Thanksgiving, you know, the one right after Grandpa had his heart attack?" Bella's eyes get wide and she side eyes me. I can't help but smirk at the memories from that particular holiday, forever known as _Turkey Basting Day_.

"Yeah, I remember." Bella nods slowly, trying to understand what Ellie is getting at.

I'm lost completely, she just got here an hour ago, and it feels like she never left. I love that about Ellie, she's just comfortable to be around. Always has been.

Her new boyfriend, Jake, seems like a nice guy. He's quiet, and clearly smitten with her. It's sweet really, and I can tell she really is in love this time. When he moves; she moves, and vice-versa, kind of like magnets.

"Well, remember how I never said anything about Edward sleeping in your bed? Well, Jake's not sleeping in the spare bedroom, Mom. I'm twenty-four years old. At my age, you'd already had me." Ellie smirks at her mother's discomfort and I chuckle, covering it up with a cough.

"Grandpa had a heart attack?" Ella asks, abruptly walking into the room from seemingly out of nowhere. She takes a seat beside her sister, the two snuggling together and giggling.

Bella explains how Charlie had been sick, but thankfully he's had no recurrences. He's healthier now than he was then, oh hell, the man could probably outrun me.

Bella waves off Ellie's request, telling her it's fine, but no funny business. Ellie is excited, and she giggles and throws her arms around Jake's neck. They break apart then Ellie leads Jake up the stairs to her childhood bedroom. I don't like this one bit, but our bedroom is at the other end of the house, so I'm not getting involved. She's an adult now. She's made nothing but good choices in her life, and I trust her. I couldn't be any prouder of her if she were my own child.

Ella runs off to get ready for her recital, leaving Bella and I alone together in the living room.

"I told you so," I whisper in Bella's ear and pull her to stand before me.

"Oh shut it, you. Now let's go get ready for tonight."

…

The recital is absolutely breathtaking. For a bunch of kids, they certainly are very well-trained.

Miss Katalina did a fantastic job at giving each child the perfect part that suited their abilities. Ella is an excellent dancer, but she's only eight so she's as good as a well-trained eight year old can be. She still fumbles over her growing limbs, and likes to joke around and be silly at inappropriate times.

In spite all of this, watching her on stage makes my heart swell. She's beautiful and graceful, and manages to go through all her scenes looking like the beautiful dancer that she has grown to be.

I don't know anything about the moves and poses, but Bella's face as she watches Ella dance is priceless. She's a very proud mom, and I don't think I could have asked for a better family.

Pulling her into my side, I hand her a tissue and kiss her temple when she wipes her eyes.

On the other side of Bella is Ellie. She's smiling so big as her eyes follow Ella on stage. Such a proud big sister.

Sitting beside me is Emmett. He's become my best friend through the years. Right now, his eyes - shining in unshed tears - are glued to his goddaughter on stage.

On the other side of Em is Rose. She's holding Daisy on her lap, but the two year old is unimpressed by the music and pretty, frilly costumes. She's currently playing with her grandmother's phone, watching a god-awful cartoon on YouTube. Whatever keeps her amused, I suppose.

Alice and Jasper are sitting at the far-end of the row, on the other side of Rose. Alice is six months pregnant and has a need to run to the bathroom every ten minutes. The poor girl.

When the recital is finally over, everyone claps and hollers. I'm glad it's done because my butt is asleep and my legs need to stretch. They didn't make the auditorium tall-person friendly, that's for sure.

…

Ella is a bubble of excited energy, and chatters non-stop all the way home. Bella sends her off to take a shower and get ready for bed, while Ellie makes an excuse to take Jake upstairs. She says the drive from Seattle was long and she wants to rest. I shudder and nod while Bella takes my hand and squeezes it into a death grip.

"Can you believe them?" She hugs me and leans her forehead into my chest.

I wrap my arms around her, and kiss the top of her head. "Young people these days," I joke.

She clicks her tongue and slaps my shoulder playfully. "We were young once, do you remember that first Christmas? You know that week when Ellie was off to New York?" I nod and she continues, "Remember how we christened every room in the house?"

Oh, I remember. I remember how shy she was about asking for sex. She wanted so much, but it was obvious she was uncomfortable with expressing her desires.

I remember that first date when we ended up at my apartment. I remember how hurt she looked when I turned her down. It was for her own good, I didn't want her to have any regrets.

I also remember the first time she told me to fuck her senseless. That day, I think I fell in love with her all over again. Knowing she was that comfortable with me that she would finally talk dirty to me, well, it did things to my body. Good things.

I remember how good she tasted on my tongue the first time I felt her shudder in my arms.

"I remember everything about you, sweetheart." I smirk and kiss her lips, deepening the kiss when I feel her tongue seeking entrance.

A few moments pass, and a throat clearing makes us break apart reluctantly.

"Yes sweetie?" I look over at my daughter whose eyes roll in the back of her head.

"Ewww... that's gross. So I'm washed and my teeth are brushed. I'm tired." She yawns as the last words leave her mouth.

I suppose spending the day dancing around and the evening under hot lights must be pretty tiring for a child her age. "Come here, sweetie." I hug her and kiss her cheek. I tell her how proud I am of her and how beautiful she looked.

Bella joins our hug and we make an Ella sandwich, making her giggle. We tell her goodnight and she runs up the stairs without looking back.

"That was easy," Bella muses, letting out a breath. Ella can be a handful when it comes to bedtime. She's been known to throw temper tantrums in extreme occasions.

"Let's go to bed," I whisper in Bella's ear, moving her hair aside and kissing my way down her neck to nibble at her collarbones.

Later, when we're lying in bed, breathless and shuddering from our bliss, I remember how we used to spend our Sundays like this.

We'd meander around the house and pray that Ellie wouldn't come back from Rose's too early.

Times have changed. Things have progressed.

But some things will never change. I will always want Bella this way. We're older, wiser, and certainly more experienced; we've been through hell and back; survived a couple of pretty loud arguments, but through it all, I've always loved her as she's loved me.

I wouldn't trade any of it for the world.

Because, for us, it's always been a life less ordinary.

THE END


End file.
